autumn of

colors, hoodies, turtlenecks, uggs, jeans, falling leaves, cuddling, taking pups for walks in the fallen leaves, best halloween ever, holding hands to keep warm, admiring scenery, seeing your breath for the first time, layers, a certain special someone's 25th birthday, celebrations, keeping up jogging, studying hard, midterms, arrivals from new york, dying your hair fall colors, getting a 7th tattoo, bundling up, playing in the fallen leaves, indoor activities, shorter days, earlier sunsets, keeping warm between the sheets, hard nipples, sex (always), long sleeves, making the most of your time, goose bumps, longer nights, dressing appropriately, new fall jackets, training puppys, moving, new neighbourhoods, keeping in touch with friends who've moved away, warm showers, thanksgiving, blankets, eating better, tweed, fine wine, blazers, making love by candle light, sleeping in on cold days and not feeling bad about wasting the day, hot activities, parlez le français, halloween movies, hocus pocus, end of summer drinks, leg warmers, candy, old navy, wearing black, twilight, pink skies, mittens, the davinci code, novels, film festival, socks, no more construction, anti-hunting, recycling, dancing to warm up the nights, good blood circulation, tea, hot apple cider, back massages, sky-rocket-in-flight-afternoon/evening-delight, blogging till you can't blog no more!

a what???

the other night at jet's obedience class, one of the instructors called my lil' puppy an "a-hole". not an "asshole", but an "a-hole"!! can you believe it?

not only did she try and make it less offensive by not completing the curse, but i'm sorry..."DUH!!!" that's why we're here!!??!!

if he was the best behaved dog in the world i could think of other ways i'd rather spend 150 bucks!!!

she's a MEAN teacher i tell you...a MEAN TEACHER!!

and are you ALLOWED to talk to me like that?? cause last time i checked i didn't come here to have my child scrutinized from the likes of some sackville dog-trainer-assistant!!

maybe i should put all my energy into training jet to bite her in the ass the next time i see her...

or maybe i'll just go up and bite her next class.

that'll teach her...that'll teach her real good.

moola

so c100 has this contest right now, called "beat the bank." basically what happens is that you call-in, and you start off with no money. they open up the first "bank vault", and that gives you a certain "balance". so you keep opening these bank vaults, each one containing more money than the last, thusly increasing your balance. you can walk away whenever you want with whatever balance you arrive with, HOWEVER with each new vault you open you run the risk of getting caught by "the police" and losing everything! so if you open up one too many and get caught, you walk away with NOTHING!!! so it's a gamble, cause you're curious as to how much the vaults ahead of you might hold.

some vaults can contain upwards to $5000!!!! so this morning some guy got through, and started opening vaults...he quit at like 550 bucks, and of course they insist on opening all the remaining vaults, just to rub it in to see exactly how much he COULD have won.

and the last vault before he would have gotten caught contained 10 000 dollars!!!!! isn't that fuckin' retarded?!? i'd be soooooo angry if i had quit when he did!!!!!

can you imagine winning $10 000 just from calling into your local radio station while getting ready for work?? that's insane! you could buy a car with that money for cryin' out loud!!

what would you do if you won $10 000? first thing i'd do is pay off my bed, then i'd pay off my visa bill, then i'd get another tattoo, take my honey on a trip somewhere lovely, move into a nice new apartment, buy a new couch, and a new dog (JUST KIDDING!!) do a little bit of shopping, and then put the rest away for me education!!

did i go over my limit?

bridalicious

well it was even better than i had anticipated, (if that's possible). it was the most wonderful story with the most character of any of tim burton's previous tales, i've ever seen!

such detail pas paid to each individual character and their makeup, no matter how small or unimportant their part.

he truly has a love and deep motivated devotion to his craft, and you can just sense his energy pulsating from the screen for what he does.

it was a sometimes melancholy tale of love and romance, set against a dark 17th century backround, filled with optimism and emotion. i truly had tears at the end, for it was a fantastically beautifully done film!

go see it immediately!

and a deep-rooted thanks goes out to miss brianne who sweetly invited lil' ol' me to be her accompanyer to the premiere! that was unbelievalby sweet of you! i had a wicked time, so thanks again!!

cover-up

so after speaking with my new york confidante last night (who's coming back to the homeland in approximately 9 more sleeps!! eeeeek!!) i was informed of an important tidbit of information related to a topic long-ago addressed.

that topic would be on the 'waifier' of the olsen twins, mary-kate. as you may have heard, (or may have had drilled into your brain) m-k was hospitalized earlier this year for what was publicized as an eating disorder. she was caught roaming the streets of new york (where she and sister ashley go to school) on countless occassions looking pin-thin and completely washed out, not to mention homeless in baggy clothes that weren't even the least bit fashionable!

the whole world cried for her; "what a sin" we all said! "look what the pressures of fame did to the poor girl!" blah, blah, blah!!

BUT IT WAS ALL A FARCE!! i'm officially here to set the record straight; mary-kate didn't have anorexia (well maybe she did, or does but that's not the reason she was hospitalized.) according to my reliable dirt source, she's A DRUG ADDICT!!!

now let me just say; a. i'm not surprised.
b. no judgement.

apparently it was a pr firm's decision to publicize it as anorexia and not coke addiction! personally i think she should just have come out and allowed herself a spot in the "teen actor cliche" category in which she belongs, along with other fellow teenage fuck-ups like macauley and that kid from the terminator movies. both of whom, might i add, were honest enough to simply to admit to their faults and then move on.

my advice to you mary-kate, is to pull a drew and disappear from the public eye for a while, straighten up, buckle down, get better, and then reappear a beautiful reborn butterfly fresh and ready to tackle anything.

new model comes complete with perkaset perscription and lifetime supply of lucky brand cigarettes. see in store for details.

no need

a loyal follower to my trashy gossip magazines of the past, i'm here to spread the newfound gossip that is thesuperficial.com

if you've ever read an issue of US or Star magazine in your entire life, this site is for you! not only does he update it everyday, but he dishes the REAL dirt!! he gives the scoop, and then he actually comments on it! and let me just say he's fuckin' hilarious!!

and his gossip is very up to date, so tune in as often as possible...god knows where he gets this shit!

www.thesuperficial.com

learn it, live it, love it.

corpse bridezilla

so i've loved tim burton and his movies for as long as i can remember. he has always been my favourite director, from the first time i ever layed eyes on beetlejuice.

for decades he's been dazzling audiences with his dark flicks who always have a comic twist! he's a director who enjoys the macabre and is delighted to delve deep into the supernatural with his gothic images and halloween twists. "corpse bride" marks burton's second release this year (the first being ofcourse the trippy "charlie and the chocolate factory") and his second stop-motion full-length animated feature film, the first being "the nightmare before christmas".

i think one of the main things i enjoy so much about his work is first and foremost his imagination; why just look at some of his ideas! edward scissorhands (un-fuckin' believable movie...hands down one of my most favourite!) to beetlejuice (beyond creative) to the tear-filled "big fish" (cried my eyes out) to "peewee's big adventure" to "sleepy hollow" to "ed wood".

his movies are known for their ability to create highly imaginative worlds that surround the characters in his stories, each one unique!

he has a vision that knows no bounds, and it almost seems like there's nothing he can't create. tim burton has never done something simply to impress critics, his work is for himself and no one else! we're just the ones who love it!!



the other thing i enjoy about this talented man, is the fact that he's not afraid to be morbidly weird. why just look at what he did with the "batman" story. while i totally fell in love with the newer batman flick, what tim did with the first two i thought was amazing. they will always be the best of the dark knight legacy.

so "corpse bride" begins this weekend, and i know i'm not alone when i say just how excited i am! carrying on in the dark romantic tradition of other classic tim burton films like edward scissorhands and the nightmare before christmas, it tells the tale of of victor, a young man whisked away to the underworld and wed to a mysterious corpse bride, while his real bride waits in the land of the living. while his time spent in the underworld proves to be more than exciting, he learns that there's nothing in this world or the next that can supposedly keep him from the woman he loves.

it's being advertised at a tale of optimism, romance, and the afterlife in classic tim burton style! starring the voices of johnny depp (a burton fave) and helena bonham carter, it's sure to be a winner!

check it out, yo!

baby spears

well it's official ladies and gents...britney's a mom! yesterday, shortly after 1pm in santa monica, california britney 'fatty' spears and husband kevin 'dirtbag' federline arrived at the hospital (with a police escort) shortly before 6 am and were whisked away into a birthing suite. a few hours later she was wheeled into a delivery room and within minutes via c-section, brit delivered a healthy baby BOY!!

awwww, good for her!

a source close to spears (i hate it when magazines say that) told US magazine that "pregnancy has not agreed with britney..." well DUH!!! have any of you seen the whale lately??? she was humongous! but i'll get to that in a minute.

although the couple has not yet legally named the baby, sources say they plan to name him "preston michael spears federline."

awwwww!

now onto the bitchiness: she was an ugly pregnant person! wasn't she? i mean, she just totally let herself go, and used it as an excuse to eat all the shit she wanted to! in short that girl did not take care of herself! and what was with cutting her hair off? who told her THAT was a good idea, she looked more like a cracked out courtney love than anything else!! in short she was totally missing the radiance that most glowing pregnant women have!

so she's a mother at 24...good for her! probably not so good for her career...can you see her bouncing back from having a child? doubtful, if you ask me...verrrrry doubtful!

consider this; i mean she'll be off for at least a year from the biz, then when she's actually ready to come back to it all she'll probably be able to live off her earnings for a few more years...then she'll become lazy and push it off for a bit longer...then before you know it you're gold-digger of a husband will have gambled away all your cash, you'll be addicted to perkaset, jamie-lynn will be dancin' for twonies at the titty twister, and you're boy'll be pimpin' the streets of kentucky or whatever lil' hick town that you be finding yourselves in!!

i think her next single should be a lullabye...wouldn't that be sweet? or maybe a remake of "you are my sunshine".

then her and i would really be tight.

off to school

my lil' one is off to school tomorrow night. yuppers, jet starts obedience training tomorrow evening...and well, i'm a little bit terrified!

why's that you ask? well for those of you who don't know my youngest child, lemme just tell you that he's basically a hellion on four paws!! sometimes i think he should be black or red to mirror his behaviour! his sleek white fur is a mere facade; a mask to his deviant attitudes! he's BAD, BAD I TELL YOU!!

well i'm exaggerating a tad, but you get the drift!! he's a puppy, and he has some issues to work out...scratch that, I'VE apparently got some 'father' issues to work out! from what i hear the instructor's gonna tell me i'm the worst dog-owner that ever lived, and it's my fault he's so badly behaved.

why am i putting myself through all this??? i don't wanna come out of this feeling worse about myself!!! this is supposed to be beneficial, not harming to my ego!!! and i don't take criticism very well when it comes to my children, so if the dude gets all up in my face and insults my 'fathering' techniques i'm gonna have to bite my tongue to stop myself from sayin' something.

no i'm not that confrontational, but you know what i mean.

i just hope he doesn't go and bite some poor lil' yorkie and give himself rabies...


wish me luck!

mima

well a shout out to renia (a catchphrase i coined just in time...one that i should copyright since it's spreading like wildfire) and their killer "naughty office party" this year; sorry i didn't comment on it before now!! but you guys did a rawkin' job!

but today's entry is mainly a lil' wee tribute to miss mima herself! yes, you maria aaboe! we'll certainly miss you while you're away, friday nights just won't be the same without you! and while i'm certain that she's cursing the shit outta me right now for posting her breasts all over the internet...what can you do?!?
it ain't the first time i seen 'em!!!! tee hee!!

we love you maria, so sail safe, and remember; one hand for the boat, one for yourself!!

kisses



i couldn't resist this one. i'm sure my honey's too proud right now!!

plageurism

now i know i seem to pick on tara reid a lot lately, (poor thing, eh?) but i found this article and peed a little when i read it!!!! it's total plageurism, but i give kudos to the bloke who thought it up!!!



Tara Reid's designer handbag was stolen at the Spanish isle of Ibiza's airport on Sunday. The Balenciaga handbag contained $180,000 worth of jewelry, including a Rolex watch that apparently had "sentimental value," a detail which her publicist hopes will garner our sympathies but won't because we're all going to snicker self-righteously instead and here's why:

Why is it that Tara Reid has $180,000 worth of jewelry and a Balenciaga handbag and I don't? I would have at least kept an eye on it, and then I would have cherished the handbag and worn the jewelry and splurged on some breast implants and liposuction procedures that weren't conducted in a back-alley and been grateful for my fame and fortune which I would have deserved. Sure, that would essentially make me a tranny with expensive taste, but so what? I'd still be more sensible and demure than Tara Reid, who, if recent history has taught us anything, probably drank her handbag. God, she did drink her handbag, didn't she? Fess up, Reid! You drank your own handbag is a drunken stupor, didn't you? Didn't you, Rummy? Bah, what's the point? She's already passed out.

last night a dj saved my life

i was thinking the other day about groups in society, especially those who follow dj culture...and i was wondering; does everybody who's part of a certain societal movement/group think that this movement began and ended with them?

take dj culture for example; or ravers if you will. i started going to parties about 6 years ago, just about the time when this culture was fuckin' booming! i mean macleans magazine even had a full spread about the newfound 'underground music' fascination. flyers were everywhere, and there was a rockin' party to go to EVERY weekend! they were so popular, the train station downtown even opened up their doors to us!! yes, that's right...yours truly 'indulged' and danced away till the wee morning hours in halifax's own lil' train station! anyways, they were HUGELY popular!

and they remained that way for the next few years...then, suddenly our fair little city just kinda turned on them...venues shut their doors and there just weren't any places to have them anymore. they started having weekly bar nights...but they just weren't the same. picture the electropolis (on lower water street) packed to the tits with 1500 to 2000 people, with the most slammin' dj you can think of spinnin' the craziest records, all atop a 10 foot high stage with a trippy light show complete with lasers for all our viewing pleasure. not to mention the fact that you couldn't even see the ceiling, and when you could you might even catch a glimpse of a few left-over props from "lexx" that were being stored there overnight. (once they had this ginormous lobster hanging from the ceiling...trippy, just trippy!) and compare all that to a silly lil' night at reflections where you're kicked out at 3:30...and there's just no comparaison!

so now all us veterans are left with only pictures of that time, and a few fuzzy memories where we're all a little sketchy on the details! but looking back, the narcissist in all of us takes the credit for making this scene so popular back in it's day. and if you ask me, i'd say we were!! but were we really? did the rave scene really begin and end with us? were we responsible for making it as big as it really was? and then for letting the scene die?

it's funny looking back at old photos of that time; even funnier to run into an old raver on the street cause everybody has changed sooo much. we really were like a little family. i mean when you hang out with the same people every weekend, you kinda get used to having them around.

but what happened? did this sudden halt in raves happen all around the world? or is it just because halifax stopped having them that the interest suddenly wained? well the answer my friends, can be seen all around you; why just google "ibiza" and you'll come up with millions of links to the most jammin' party island in the world where the culture is alive and well. and not going anywhere! or at the very least look in the electronica section at hmv the next time you visit; cause it certainly still thrives!

therefore the conclusion i come to is that halifax just wasn't ready for such an underground culture to be a part of it's day to day society, and thus the culture died off. well at least part of it did. the music part is still thumpin' (pardon my pun), and not just on the east coast. electronica will be around all over the world for as long as time. the scene has simply evolved into something a bit more vast and less concentrated.

poser-lovers of electronica music will come and go, but the trained eye can always spot a 'lifer'; we're the ones you see on the street tappin' their foot or bobbin their whole body, to a beat that can only be heard in their head!

and ps, the painting at the top is by justin bua (my favourite artist) entitled appropriately "the dj". i urge you to check out his urban art (justinbua.com)

beautiful as always

how beautiful is my lil' sweet!! she's sepposedly the new face for gucci westman's new make-up line: rose mystére! good for her! it's about time that people started recognizing the eternal beauty of this lady...although i must admit i kinda wish she'd go back to blonde...or atleast to a darker shade of the color she's sporting right now...but still beautiful!!

i love you drew

rich x-tina

so did you hear that russian billionaire andrey melnichenko paid christina aguilera (pictured at left during her x-tina identity crisis) 3.6 million dollars to sing two freakin' songs at his wedding?!? isn't that the most retarded thing you've ever heard?

now don't get me wrong, i love lil' miss aguilera...i have her stripped cd, and whenever "dirrty" comes on downtown, my body begins thrusting out of control...HOWEVER, i can think of many, many, many, many (how many many's is that?) other artists who if i had 3.6 million to throw away, would rather spend it on to have them sing a ditty at the ceremony!!

true she has a gorgeous voice, and according to one wedding guest there wasn't a dry seat in the house when she sang "beautiful" (an amazing song, very heartfelt), but it's only christina aguilera!! come on, buddy!! now to christina this is probably an insane amount of cash...especially since she got a free trip to the south of france out of the deal too! not to mention accomodations in a 1400 dollar a night resort!! all compliments of the russion wacko!!

well good for her, i guess! i mean if someone out there is that big a fan of the former mouseketeer, and has apparently money to burn...why not?

personally i hope that for 3.6 million, she better have fuckin' joined them in bed or something!! or atleast given him a hand job!!