tieing the knot

so yours truly (returning from a much anticipated hiatus) is getting ready to get hitched...yup, the eternal self-proclaimed bachelor is getting ready to become a "we"...no longer, I, rather "us"...or "we'll..." or "i'll have to check with my better half..." People will no longer refer to me as simply "Joey"...it'll be a package deal; Joey and Adrian!

wow...even i sometimes have a hard time believing it...which is probably a societally-orchestrated thought, seeing as how there's that old wives tale that 'gays' don't...correction, "aren't allowed" to get married in today's world. well i'm here to tell ya'll that that previously believed idea doesn't stand to be true anymore! gay couples can now officially hold the same legal rights as all straight married couples! it doesn't have as catchy a title as the "husband/wife" regime adopted by all those straighties...ours is simply refered to as "civil partners"! which i'm totally ok with!!

adrian; the gent in question, is the one that has continuously saved me from myself since we've met... he lives a life much unlike my own; one that isn't plagued by a strict exercise regime , an obsession with routine, or the inability to relax and let the mind rest...

i guess some could call him my rock...well at least he would be if he knew how to handle me when i'm in one of my notoriously troubling moods... that he's still trying to figure out...for if he had then i wouldn't probably be sitting here at my computer on a friday night alone (well with the dogs) while he's out celebrating with "my" friends, while i pine away loathing the fact that he and carolyn were able to remove themselves from the situation that has forced me to stay in for the night, and leave me alone to deal with my own demons...

prepare for my rant:

i mean shouldn't he know by now what i NEED when i get like this???? shouldn't he know that i need someone to just not talk or nag me, but to yell at me and tell me to fuck off and just grab me and hold me until i'm over it...

but no... he doesn't know this yet, in fact sometimes i worry he doesn't know enough about me...i worry that maybe he is just in love with the idea of me...not really knowing what's underneath, or bothering to take the time to really look at what's there...perhaps for fear of finding out...haha, let's hope not... *nervous laughter*

maybe i'm the one who's afraid of him really finding out what's there...for fear he'll run screaming for the hills...

but then i erase this thought from my mind since i pride myself on being a very honest and open person...if i were able to fake the way i feel then i would be at that party right now, and not sitting here at my computer talking to you... so i guess it's not a total loss!!

i do have worries about getting married...i think that maybe if we didn't 'have' to be doing this, then...no, you know what? i don't think that...i do love him, with all my heart, and i do actually enjoy the fact that i don't know everything there is to know about him, and that he doesn't know everything there is to know about me...i think that part of the fun of being in a relationship is finding out more and more about your partner, and exploring who they are...

if all the mystery was gone after the first month, then what is there left to discover?

and so here i sit...thinking, and mulling, and stewing in a pot of my own guilt and frustration...wishing and hoping that the one that stands there before me can be the one to pull me out...

shhhhh

i've always been quite intrigued by sex and those who really put it out there...

our society has built somewhat of a stigma around sex, and those who build their life around it...forcing it underground, and out of sight, where the term "seedy" takes over like some sort of excuse.

yet behind closed doors, even the worlds elite are doing it...and worse off, they're probably the ones that get their rocks off in the most "naughtiest" of ways...and subsequently they scoff those who are the most honest about their carnal desires...

doesn't that seem a tad bit hypocritical to anyone else???

i think that's why i have an obsession with porn, and strippers (love you jenna), because this is probably the most honest industry in the whole world, existing with practically nothing to hide, and purely there for our enjoyment...isn't that what sex is all about?

to turn our noses up at the girls who need to "dance" to make a living, yet then go out on saturday night and pick up a random to satisfy that burning desire we possess to not be alone...is the saddest thing i could possibly imagine...

who are we to judge?

that thing...

so i have always believed that everybody has their own little kinks...some that we don't always want to share with people, and others that we love to flaunt and have exposed for the raw kinks that they are...

but no matter how vanilla or raunch your specific kink is, does that make it wrong? is there a level of kinkiness that deems some to be acceptable, and others not??

i recently "came out" to carolyn with the prospect of a new "kink" of mine, and let's just say she was less than "ok" with it...k, now wait; it had nothing to do with her...well at least not directly, anyways... and she was very quick to judge...to say the least...

what gives people the right to judge the factors that get us off?? who allows them the permission to view our kinks as taboo, yet their own as totally acceptable??

shouldn't we all just accept our dirrty little secrets for what they are, and move on? especially between friends...what's it to them, really??

am i right??

faces

i was talking with christina tonight about how facebook has revolutionized dating; isn't it odd how friends used to find out about a new relationship through actual voice-on-voice phone calls from one party to the other...but since the days of facebook all one has to do to tell everyone about their new found happiness is to change their "relationship status" on their home page!!

i mean, i've said it before and i'll say it again; what did the world do before facebook?????

we used to have to reveal our secrets to the world one phone call at a time...now all it takes is a 2 second posting on one of the most popular networking sites of all time, and within moments all of your "friends" are aware of the new developments in your life!!!

you can put it down all you want, but there's no denying the usefulness of facebook and all it's applications!

why waste your time making the obligatory phonecalls to all of your loved ones to notify them of your news; let facebook do it for you!

xx

what made you

one of my favourite questions i get asked the most often since i've been here in england, is "what made you decide to come to the UK"?

at first i didn't think too much about my answer, (it was time to come over here; i was done with canada/the US; always wanted to live in/visit europe) or their motives behind asking...until the 100 000 time that very same question was posed.

then it got me thinking; if i met someone in canada who had just moved there from the UK, i would probably have asked them the same thing!!

what is it about the area we're from that is always less appealing to us than it is to someone who's never been before?

i always thought that those who live somewhere fabulous like london, would love london!! but i've come to find that there are loads of natives to this gorgeous land, who can no longer see it's appeal. and it would be the same with canada; i can not think of one genuine reason why someone would want to leave somewhere like england to migrate to somewhere in canada (aka the land of the endless winters)...

i suppose the old saying "the grass is always greener" rings true in this situation, doesn't it? when we're standing in the same pasture we've stood in for our whole lives, the thought of going somewhere else outside of the familiar (no matter what the downfalls) will always have it's appeal...

Red Carpet Suicide

well my darling Perez Hilton, otherwise known as the gossip gangster, has recently published his (first of hopefully many) books, appropriately titled "Red Carpet Suicide".

it's basically his daily blog reformatted to fit into a 250 page book, where he dishes more dirt, and comments on the awesome world of "the famous".

being somewhat biased to him already; i read his column as often as amy winehouse smokes crack, i knew his book would be above amazing!! and as i dove head first into it the second amazon.co.uk delivered it to my door, i realized my aforementioned predictions were true!

i've always been impressed by this man's wit and poignant point of view, and this book does not disappoint.

but the main reason to pick up his book is because he offers up an explanation to the worlds fascination with celebrities. focusing mainly on the reasons behind why certain starlets become famous for absolutely no reason, he attempts to shed some light on just why we have allowed celebrities to rule the world, with us hanging off of their every move.

i think my favourite part thus far is his forward that was written by andy warhol (from heaven) that focuses on his infamous quote that "in the future, everyone will be world famous for 15 minutes". and if take a gander at the tabloids these days, you'll see andy's prediction brought to life, right before your eyes...

check it out!

someone different

i recently have found myself extremely attracted to a type of person i didn't know i could have feelings for.

isn't that interesting? now i never considered myself to be someone who even had a "type"; i've dated/slept with people of different shapes and sizes, colours, ages, nationalities, backgrounds, jobs, etc; and have always found myself to be quite versatile when it comes to men.

i am attracted to warmth, charisma, confidence, and a killer personality. and recently have found myself quite intrigued by the idea of being with someone so completely opposite from not only myself, but from those men who make up my tattered past!

perhaps it's the universe throwing me a bone, (and hopefully a boner!!) perhaps meeting someone so completely different from the one i thought i'd end up with, is exactly the way it's sepposed to be!

maybe having me believe that i thought i always knew what i wanted, was the plough all along...only to have me be completely thrown and surprised by the direction my hormones have led me!!

fasten your seatbelts

some people

so people in the past have been somewhat intrusive sometimes when it comes to MY 'blogging rules'; those being that this is MY blog, and i shouldn't have to apologize for anything i say on here at ANY time...no matter who i offend in the blogging process.

but lately, there have been a few occasions when i have offended a certain 'someone' (in particular) with my opinions/feelings that i've posted on here, and thusly ended up feeling guilty for it.

but aren't blogs just like an online diary; one that is available for everyone to see?!?! if someone read something about themselves they didn't like in your PERSONAL PRIVATE diary, that person would have no one to blame but themselves for their invasion of YOUR privacy...so is an online diary really any different???

i mean it's not like you FORCED them to read it, right???? they could just have not logged on to your page, and no one would have been the wiser!

but simply because they made a decision(their own, might i add) to log on, and happened to read something they didn't feel so great about, suddenly I'M the one to blame???

well i hereby revoke YOUR right to read my blog, as i've done to others in the past...if you have received a personal invitation in the past to log on to this page, consider this a rebuttal. i shouldn't have to bow down to anyone regarding the content about what i write about; i didn't stop writing dirty entries when i found out my mom read this, and i certainly don't intend to stop expressing myself the way i please, just because some people can't handle it...

deal with it.

Lady Gaga live in London (G-A-Y Heaven 17/01/2009)

she's fuckin' brilliant; and put on a rockin' show! i'm obsessed!! xx

true lies

have you ever told a lie so many times over, that you start to believe it?

so many times, that this lie starts to become a part of who you are, and you start to forget where the truth ends, and the lie begins?

there's been something, nothing ground-breakingly important...fear not, but something that started out as somewhat of an "embellishment" and sort of snowballed into a full blown big-fat-fuckin' lie!!

every time i tell it, i think to myself; WHY ARE YOU SAYING THIS AGAIN????? but it's almost as if since i started saying it i can't seem to stop...

but isn't that what lying is all about? it's addictive, and once you start you just can't stop...and before you know it, you're telling it to everyone...whether you consciously do it or not...

but here's the hard part; how do you stop? once something has been engrained in your brain to the point where it's almost automatic, how do you put a halt to it? and worst of all...if found out, how do you recover from it?

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING TOTALLY ADHD AND COMPLETELY OFF TOPIC; what the fuck is up with people who can't handle what they feel????

is it an age thing? are younger lads just completely unable to handle and deal with their emotions????? a word to the wise, and to a certain someone in particular: when something you know you shouldn't be feeling gets the best of you...learn how to fuckin deal with it!!!!!!!!! don't be a pussy about it; just put it out there and decide what your heart/head is telling you...and react...

fuck

New Year

well i'm not usually one for making resolutions come the new year...not because i don't agree with the idea of them, but simply because i don't believe in making one that i don't intend to stand by.

however, as january 1st (2009) inched it's way closer and closer, i found myself evaluating my whirlwind year that was 2008 and thinking about the things i'd like to have done differently.

now those of you who know me, know that i don't believe in regrets...i accept the things i have done incorrectly, and simply learn from them and move on.

so as i look back at the mistakes of the past 365 days, i have come to 3 "so-called-new-years-resolutions" that i feel will help me to make this year even more bitchin' than the last!!

the first thing i take upon myself this year is the desire to continue to live as healthily as i possibly can. this past year i decided to turn vegan, but then realized that i wasn't getting as many nutrients as i should be. i felt myself losing weight, which is something i never wanted to do, so i have returned to my vegetarian roots...where i feel the most happy with myself! besides what i eat, i simply want to listen to the angel on my shoulder who tells me what i should and should not be putting in my body. now don't get me wrong, i love's me my red wine and won't be giving that up anytime soon...but those of you who've been partying with me over the holidays know about the poisons that i wish to now stray from...for good.

the second thing i want for myself this year is to not be afraid to get close to another person in a relationship again...i have had quite a tumultous past in the "boy department"...going from full blown whore status, to my now unrequited "lover-not-a-fighter-waiting-for-his-Edward-to-come-along"...status? i'm not even sure that is a status...but that's where i'm at right now...my "tattered past" of which i spoke before has left me with a sadness that i can't seem to shake when it comes to commitment...i always said i'd never be one of those bruised lovers who can't get past the break-ups and the heartaches that has left them feeling less than whole time and time again...but alas i still carry with me the baggage of those break ups...even though i'm getting back to my good ol' self with each sunny day! but this year i hope to let go of those negative vibes that are holding me back from getting closer to someone and really letting them into my psyche...for relationships are all about taking risks...and not being afraid of putting themselves into the crossfire!

lastly, as i step full-on into 2009, still reaping the drawbacks of the most expensive christmas of my life, the third thing i resolve to do this year is to be aware and more conscious of how i spend my earnings...i love having things to show for my hard work, and i feel over the past few months...namely because of my crazy xmas...i haven't had a lot gained over as i dive into my overdraft...and in 2009 i vow to change all that. now that doesn't mean that i intend to not shop anymore...pbbbt~do you not know me at all??? it just means that i intend to spend my money more wisely on those lovely items at topman, and not so much on those other 'highs' that don't last nearly as long!! as i get ready to turn 28 this year, i refuse to be ruled by debt, and promise to be much more conscious of how i save.

so to those of you who i missed over the holidays, i bid you the best! 2009 has begun with a fuckin' bang, and i hope you are all looking forward, as much as i am, to more galavanting, random wine soaked nights with friends, good times, great flicks, good teaching days, amazing walks with doggies, and those quiet evenings when all you wanna do is curl up with a good book on your coach, and just stay in...mmmm!!

Joe Rogan vs Jenna Jameson

something i came across that i got a kick outta; my girl jenna giving joe rogan (from fear factor status) tips on how to eat a woman out...ahem...

A Very Unusual Christmas

just a little something for you all during this holiday season...to keep you warm, that is! ahem...

well lovers, i hope you all had an amazing christmas!! what did ya'll do? well whatever you naughty little elves got up to, i hope you indulged until your heart's content! for what else is there to really do in december, but eat too much, drink loads, visit with the rellies (relatives) and just have a holly jolly time?!?!

well don't be sad for me lovers, but i did all of these typical christmas activities, except for visit with the relatives...yes, it's true, i had the xmas of someone who's been living abroad for the past year, and was unable to return to the land from which he was conceived due to extreme costs...

but alas, all was not a disappointment! i made the decision to take my jet to the beach for a few days where we spoiled ourselves rotten by staying in a posh little hotel, ordering room service, sleeping in a king size bed, drinking champagne, and just enjoying life!!

the only thing missing was...YOU!

which is what made this xmas so unusual...waking up on xmas morning and not having my parents to make me my coffee and baileys, was odd...to say the least.

bad? no...just unusual...but as with every passing christmas, we inevitably grow up more and more, and the traditions we grew accustomed to change and develop, and we in turn make our own new traditions, and abandon others! so what may seem like a sad way to spend xmas to some, suited me just fine!

i'm 27 now, and the true meaning of christmas, well the one that i thought was the true one anyways, has evolved as i've grown up...i no longer feel the need to wake up on the 25th of december with a tree full of presents...

at this point, christmas is about doing what makes you happy! seeing the ones that make you happy! and appreciating the season! so that's why jet and i did what we did, cause if we couldn't be with my parentals this christmas, i would at least spoil us both rotten and have our holly jolly christmas somewhere i love, doing the things that make us happy...

happy christmas lovers!!!

now bring on fuckin' NEW YEARS EVE!!!!!!!!!!!!

EVERYTHING NEW IS BETTER...

well just a little introduction to the newly revamped, much improved, gotta-read-daily, more-important-to-your-routine-than-logging-onto-perezhilton.com, blog of yours truly!!!!

it has been a while, but alas as sometimes occurs in even the most "together" situations, the one you have come to rely upon gets busy...and begins slacking off on his postings...

as i'm sure you've heard it all before, let's hope that this promise to tune you all in more often, does not fall upon deaf ears!

it's funny when you think about it; writing has always been a true joy of mine...i've always found some sort of solace in putting my thoughts out there...whether on paper, or online...why would i allow something that brings me such peace, slip away like i have??? why do we all allow the things that bring us down, take such precidence over the things that make us happy??

i think there comes a time when we all have to stop and take a look at our priorities, and decide how important we want such negative things to really be in our day-to-day lives...and how much attention we decide to pay to them on a daily basis.

i'm 27 years old...my late (pardon me) twenties...no longer will i allow that which makes me happy fall to the wayside...and i urge you all to do the same!

if somethings important enough that it brings you up when you're down, then you not only need to indulge in it...you need to fuckin' BATHE in it!!!!

xx

SUMMER OF...



(a little late, i know but better now than never!!) British boys, London, Brighton, Camden, Notting Hill, SOHO, gay clubs, the return of Electro, checkered prints, "footie", star tattoos, pooches flying overseas to be reunited with their fathers, living off your overdraft, finding out bad things from someone you really like, red red wine, British boys, mixmag, lady gaga, ava leigh, rihanna's "disturbia", alphabeat, "pjanoo", pete tong, carl cox, tiesto, hed kandi, katie price and peter andre, summer beach reads, having rocks on the beach instead of sand, summer "halifax" flatmates, blogs being revisited, blondes, male g-spot stimulators, getting ready to teach Year 2, "gok's fashion fix", High street styles, classic style aviators, beach bum styles, contrasting color pairings, Primark, TOPMAN, British boys, "the noble vine", late-night drinks, heart 2 heart chats with roomies at 6 am, Urban Outfitters, cider, the "sex and the city" movie, "zombie strippers", bright colored ties, "twilight" book series, "angel uncovered" by katie price, trash, dirrty behaviors, making out with boys in converted churches, sight-seeing, long-distance phone calls, mobiles, "sidekick", night-buses, queing up, "heaven", roller disco, plentyoffish.com, chatting with old flames from your past who should have stayed in your past but instead end up calling you fucked up and asking you to marry them, un petit pillule et demi, pureness, lynx body wash, ordering things online when you can't find them at your local, the x factor, big brother UK, "friends" reruns on 24/7, dreaming of new tattoos until you can actually afford them, andy warhol originals, seeing live music, dj's, loving your lives, carousels, piers, fake and baking, shopping till you drop, doritos, veganism, bettering yourself and making good decisions, being YOU!

DEAL-BREAKERS

what are the relationship deal-breakers in your eyes?

imagine the last thing you'd want your boyfriend/girlfriend to tell you...what is it? what does it involve? what would you say? and most importantly, could you get past it?

does there exist certain things/actions/circumstances that are a part of your partner's past that if revealed would cause you to look at them differently, and thusly evaluate how much you want to be with them?

i'm sure everyone can think of something that if heard from your bf/gf's lips would have them running for the hills...but now imagine that you've actually heard it...

now react.

what do you do; do you stick around? do you wait it out? do you try and learn more as to better understand why they did what it is they did? or do you simply turn away and hope that the next one that comes along won't have as much baggage with them?

but what if the next one does? what if the next one's is worse??? or horror of horrors yet, what if you then realize that the one you turned away, meant more to you over-all than their bit of "unfortunate news"???????

they say everyone's threshold of pain is different, but what about our emotional threshold? are some of us better equipped to handle with these "deal-breakers", and if so where do they get their strength???

this one needs time to ponder me thinks...but what if in this case time only shadows the issue even more??? hmmm....

MIZZ JAMESON














well loads has been happening in the jenna jameson part of the world; let's start with the gorgeous ad you see before you!!!! miss jameson has been involved with peta for quite some time now; she's been quoted as saying it's a cause that's very dear to her heart...and well we all know how down i am with my girl J, and this just solidifies our relationship all the further!!

always an animal lover, in previous peta ad's she's shed her attire in a bid to consumers to purchase "pleather" instead of the ever-animal-cruel "leather".

this time around, she appears naked (and with a killer hair-cut; very much a pornstar take on "the rihanna") alerting us to all be sure to spay/neuter our pets. now this may seem odd to some; what's so wrong with breeding animals??? isn't that like saying to humans "get your tubes tied you dirty whores!"??? but peta brings up a very good point; the more animals go not being spayed or neutered, the more likely they are to go whore around town, get knocked up, and end up having loads of litters that sometimes go uncared for.

now if you're an animal lover; and you freakin' better be, this should hit you close to your heart! i've had both my puppies fixed as soon as i could; not only does it help cut down on the amount of homeless animals roaming the streets, but it also is beneficial to the animal. you'll notice improvements in behaviors as well as the way they act in public!

i also love the cheekiness of the ad; for those of you who can't read between the lines the ad features jenna jameson (aka the Queen of Porn) advertising that sometimes "too much sex, can be a bad thing..." can't you just taste the irony??

and in other jenna news; not that i'm the first to announce it, but my dear JJ is pregnant!!!!!! isn't that exciting???

after suffering miscarriages she's finally preggers with her first child with boyfriend tito ortiz (the UFC dude!) i couldn't be happier for her, she deserves nothing but the best!!!

congrats jenna!!!!!!!!!!

xx

WHAT I'M LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW

1. Ava Leigh; her cd is not out until September i do believe, but you can find some of her tracks on limewire that have been leaked.

she's fuckin' phenomenal; reggae mixed with pop and a sultry british accent... this blonde beauty lives in Brighton and it shows through her laid-back, hippy/surfer vibe. some note-worthy tracks include "mad about the boy" and "burnin".
2. Lady Gaga; she also is fuckin' phenomenal, yet a tad bit more dancy!! think gwen stefani and madonna's lovechild...complete with sexual experimentation and style of music!!

"just dance" features akon and it's one of summer's best club-bangers!! she's american, blonde (with a fringe), gorgeous, and the "new gay icon" according to yours truly!! other note worthy tracks include "love games", "dirty ice cream", "boys boys boys", and "papparazzi". her cd "the fame" is due out in October.

3. the Ting Ting's; the british pop phenomenon duo is new to the music scene, but with their debut album "we started nothing" they seem like seasoned veterans! a little indy, a little pop-ish, all amazing!!! my favorite track is "shut up and let me go"...and the video is a real trip too!

4. sam sparro; what can i say about the tuxedo-clad babe of "black and gold" video fame. he's openly gay, fantastic, with a retro-new-rave vibe to his music! besides the aforementioned "black and gold", check out "sick" and "cling wrap". not exactly club-bangers, but definitely note-worthy!

5. Natty; this reggae king is new to my ears, but i'm loving what i've heard so far! very mellow reggae, but fantastic!!

check 'em out lovahs, you won't be disappointed!

WHERE ARE ALL THE LATE 20SOMETHING GUYS????











now this may not make the most sense to my "non-gay/young" fanbase, but check this out: as most of you know i'm quite the fan of plenty of fish (.com) but recently have noticed a certain unfortunate trend happening...

whenever i log on to take a look at what's available, i notice there's a huge divide between the types of guys out there: first of all you have the 18-21 year old's- mostly "newly" out of the closet, new to the "scene", some pill-heads, and very-often-more-often-than-not only into 1-nighters...

now not to categorize them as a formal group or anything, but if i were to lend myself over to the stereotype i might happen to say that these 18-21 year olds (as i was at that age) tend to not know what they want...and if they do know what they want, they don't know how to get it. and if they do know how to get it, usually go about "getting it" all the wrong way. most, and i do mean "most" can be somewhat obsessive, and tend to become easily attached. (k i feel awful to be writing that, cause i was that kind of 18-21 year old...)

so there's one group; the second is the 35-45 year olds...now i don't know too much about that group, since they never seem to message me...or i them...which is odd because i've had a few silver-foxes in my day, and have always found their type (middle-aged, been-around-the-block-know-how-to-use-their-cock, in shape, spry) quite attractive...

my question is this: where are all the in-betweeners??!?!?!?!?!?

like seriously; where are the 24-30 year olds???????

i'll tell you where they are; they've all got boyfriends...

see the 18-21 year olds just haven't found one yet...and the 35-45 year olds are recently divorced/broken-up from their husbands, partners, boyfriends, what-have-you!!!!!!

so what does this mean???? have i missed my chance????? was my long-term relationship out there somewhere and i just let it pass me by???? has mister right come and gone, or even worse-off; have i already had him and let him get-away??!?!?!!?

its infuriating!!!!!!! so this goes out to all the gay 24-30 year olds out there who feel the same way i do...fancy a date?

1. chez; this little man found moi on good ol' plenty of fish.com...and even though things didn't work out with bachelor #1, i do urge you all to check out that site...good things can come from it, just ask carol!!

anywho, chez is a 20 year old little shit, who swore he was not like others his age..."i'm different..." he cooed as he nuzzled my neck, " i know what i want, and i'm not afraid to go for it"...

le bullshit, i cooed back...and i was right.

no 20 year old knows what they want...let alone have the foggiest clue as to what life is all about. you're just becoming secure with yourself at the age of 20, and there's no way you are mature enough as a gay man to give yourself over to someone else without any hesitation.

a word to the wise people, when a 20 year old from the sticks tells you "you're the one" after only a night and 2 orgasms later (one of which i think he faked), run screaming and save yourself the puzzlement as to why they spurt horseshit from their mouths...

but fuck things sound sexier in a british accent...that you can take my word for

2. the bartender man; this guy was another encounter from p.o.f and would have been a better one if it weren't for the staying up all night (you can just guess) and doing the walk-of-shame home from my all-nighter still wearing last night's outfit (which didn't look as nice at 6 am as it did at 10 pm) and contact lenses.

he was cute, and super sexy, but alas a MANAGER (which i've since sworn off completely this time...really) and once again 21 years old.

well there's not really much to say about this one, since there hasn't been a 2nd encounter due to his impending move back home with his parents...stop snickering...who also live in the sticks...

see bachelor #1 for feelings about boys who live in the sticks.

3. the doctor; this ones one of the boys...sorry, OLD MEN from my past...he was actually my first; yup...we did it in a parking garage outside of a gay bar in halifax...hot, i know...anywho i thought he lived in america now, but after a quick boo at his website (www.drnickevans.com) i found out that he's now a UK resident again...he was born in wales, and has since re-joined the other brits in his homeland!

well, you can only imagine what happened next...

after a few flirtatious texts/calls/emails, we have still yet to meet. and will probably still be waiting. we met in 1999, (which was 9 years ago) and he's now 44 years old...yeah, yeah...he's obviously set in his ways and not too eager to get out of them...what's that about teaching an old dog new tricks??

well that was until he called me last weekend; high off his ass and drunk as a skunk, spouting some sort of amy-winehouse-nonsense about how we should get married, and how in love with me he was, and how much he wants to do *blankety blank blank* to me after all this time...

yada yada yada...well let's just say this dirrty boy discovered his "charlotte-esque" side upon hearing him come on this strong...and i was completely and totally turned off.

a) how can you be this old and still doing drugs????
b) how can you be so resentful after 9 years of the way things ended between us???
c) wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age...k, that's more something i learned rather than a question...but it's still suitable here!

well loves, it's only been a few months...so let's hope the summer continues to sizzle as much as the past while has!!!!!

kisses