brad-is-girlfriend

now i'm sure everyone is bored to tears with the whole "brangelina" thing, but when i saw these photos i just had to comment on them. brad pitt definitely starts resembling all the women he dates, doesn't he? he totally went blonde and short with gwynneth, then he took on the natural brunette and long straight look of mizz anniston, and now the dark, sometimes gothic look of angelina. what's up with that?

the one in the middle is by-far, my favourite! it's hilarious, isn't it?? he totally looks exactly like gwynneth! do you remember when they were together? gwynneth was the hot new item back in those days! mainly due to the fact that she was hanging off the arm of brad pitt. but who's to say!! that was back around the time of 'interview with the vampire' for him, and 'sliding doors' for her i think.

blast from the past, eh?

do you think this happens in all relationships?? that one person starts to resemble the other? well this certainly remains true in the 'maneurism' category...i know that i've picked up certain traits from everyone i've ever dated. i mean, when you're constantly around someone for great lenghts of time, you can't help but rub off on them a bit, right? but brad certainly takes it to a new level, doesn't he?!?

now for the obligatory comment on the 'brangelina' epidemic. i wasn't at all interested in the gossip that surrounded these two for the longest time, mainly due to the fact that it was all "heresay" up until their reps confirmed what everyone already knew was true. i mean, yes they were seen with eachother time and time again, but everything was complete rumors up until just recently!! i mean, who was to say they weren't just hangin' out!! i mean they were in a movie together, and maybe they were just friends!

that was plausible until it got out that brad had filed to have lawful adoption rights to both of angie's kids!! now that may just be the kicker right there...kind of a dead giveaway, don't you think?

so the two hottest people in hollywood have finally hooked up!! it was bound to happen people! angelina is the type of girl who even straight ladies would swing the other way for, and well brad...let's just say that this lil' gay boy need not even comment on his appeal for fear of crossing into 'redundancy territory'. they're both retardedly beautiful, and will have beautiful children, and a beautiful home, and continue to make the world a beautiful better place while making the rest of us feel bad about ourselves...yada yada yada!

i hope they make a sex tape, and that that sex tape gets accidentally leaked onto the internet...that would be just awesome!

and sad, for them i mean!

shizzle

you can talk shit, eat shit, do shit, make shit, feel shit, take shit, throw shit, drink shit, move shit, pile shit, bottle shit, hide shit, drive shit, build shit, walk shit, can shit, write shit, fake shit, swallow shit, wear shit, buy shit, throw away shit, pick-up shit, record shit, find shit, type shit, sing shit, watch shit, give shit, carry shit, get rid of shit, bring shit, donate shit, roll shit, lend shit, schedule shit, edit shit, see shit, dig shit, listen to shit, fuck shit, poop shit, pee shit, clean shit, blog shit, call shit, lick shit, cut shit, kill shit, drive shit, shop for shit, steal shit, fly shit, park shit, knight shit, knit shit, chew shit, blow shit up, fuck shit up, make shit up, squeeze shit, dye shit, tape shit, count shit, calculate shit, read shit, remember shit, fire shit, press shit, mark shit, waste shit, drizzle shit, spread shit, be shit, smell shit, massage shit, dress shit, style shit, lie about shit, break-up with shit, dump shit, marry shit, clean shit, ring shit, shave shit, call shit, make-fun of shit, AND ROCK SHIT!!!

phew.

the mix

shall we begin? yes, let's! so in a desperate attempt to fool mother nature into bringing me warmer weather, i returned to my summer colors...summer hair colors, that is. while most of the world is going darker for the winter months, i return to my blonde roots, (no pun intended). and a much shorter, edgier hair cut! basically it came down to missing it...and missing having an excuse for how ditzy i can be! (or how ditzy i am...) not that i didn't enjoy the black hues, but let's face it; the blonde is much more me. (this is the photo i gave jodi).



next on the agenda of what's new is my new obsession with "true religion" jeans. see image. they even named these jeans after me!! seriously, they're called "joey" jeans. isn't that just completely bitchin? how am i to resist? how could i not be taken by a designer reaching out to me in such a manner? do you think they had me in mind while making them? who else could be their muse for 'joey jeans'?? i mean, come on!!!



next, this is a shameless photo...it's a pic of this seller on ebay that i 'came' across one day!! isn't he amazing? he sells shitty clubbing clothes "4 jocks" (seriously that's his selling tag) but he's got a hot ass body, so i had to immortalize him in the "naive inner-working" files. (i think this photo is an add for his 'guide to shaving' kit retailing at about 27 bucks!!) but i tend to review his for sale items...mostly just to gawk!! enjoy!)



so since i'm so graciously going with amanda to get her tongue pierced later on today (ow! ow!) she agreed to doodle a little design for me to add to a tattoo i already have! i almost find it hard to see my original tattoo in her design (that's how good she is) but it's in there...the original idea was a 'tribal spectre' on the back of my calf. but it's a little too small for my liking. (you know how i like 'em big!) so this is one design she made for me.

this is the second. but i have to hold off a little while longer...cause if i get it now, that will be 3 tattoos in 1 year...and i do believe that qualifies me for the tattooed white trash award of the year. well, tattooed classy white trash, riiiight?



so that's the world according to joey these days. i know it's been a while. but there you have it! let's keep dreaming of warmer days, and afternoons spent at the beach, or poolside with a mojito in hand. and you never know, maybe we can change the weather by osmosis!!!

hostel

well if ever there was a reason not to go to europe...this is it! or maybe this is just one of the many reasons to not stay in hostels while over yonder...either way, WATCH OUT!!

from the demented mind of quentin tarantino (or at least from his production company) comes this years sick and twisted tale of death and debauchery. it follows two childhood friends and one drifter as they canoodle across europe getting their feet as wet as possible along the way. the first half of the movie depicts the seedier side of amsterdam complete with it's many many many peepshows and hash cafés, until one night when the boys are recommended to a particular "hostel" where the girls are hot and the sex is aplenty!!



so being the little horn dogs that they are they hustle and bustle over to this alleged hostel, and what they find there is not what the expect...now i won't ruin it for you, but let's just say those who stay in this hostel end up becoming part of some sort of a demented art show where the tourists are the main attraction.

yuck, yuck, yuck...

so if you're into blood and guts, and oh yes...there will be blood...check it out! it reeks of tarantino film style! even though he's only a producer. i'm pretty sure he's found a protege in eli roth the director of the film.

one more thing i'll mention; this was actually brought up in the coast in the review of the flick. eli roth was talking about how isn't it weird that you can keep an "r" rating on a movie where you see someone's eye get burned out with a blow torch...but the second you show two people having graphic sex (and let's face it, is there any other kind?) you get slapped with an nc-17!?! what's up with that? what is it about sex; the most natural human act in the world, that is so awful to see on the screen?!? has violence (something completely unacceptable)been so glamorized and accepted in today's society that it has caused sex (something wonderful that we're all a product of) to become the most taboo thing to watch at the movies???

apparently the mpaa wants us to see people killing eachother more than they want us to be getting off...start writing letters people!! this has to stop!!

there's a little food for horny thought for ya!

discuss.

and go see this movie! you'll be sinfully tickled!

rock star

do you think that every young child grows up wishing and hoping and praying that someday when they're older they'll become a rock star?? i know i did! or maybe it was my parents who wished that fate upon me, and exemplified that by dressing me up in a gold rock star mullet wig and leather jacket with junior snake skin pants comeplete with "kiss" make-up around the eyes one halloween night when i was but a lad...or maybe that's why i'm gay...no, just kidding!

it struck me while i was standing in the line-up in the drug store and peered into the "enegry drink" display case and saw the "rock star" beverage standing there lookin' like a rockin' can of (much needed) beer. and i felt compelled to buy it. maybe it was my destiny calling out to me...or maybe it represented something from my childhood; like a memory waiting to be rediscovered. or maybe it was something from beyond that was telling me to be more edgy...not that's not possible, riiight?

either way, it got me thinking. do you think the rock stars of today exemplify the "live hard, die young, and leave a good looking corpse" way of being that was once the way of yesterday's rock stars?

i mean, you look at ozzy and the crue and axl and the way they lived...and you compare that to the "pop stars" of today??? it's completely uncomparable!!

but maybe that's what happens as the genre gets passed down from generation to generation. aspects get lost in translation, and time changes things. the once booze soaked concerts and rampage fueled after-partys of motley's daze, have been replaced by coke fueled ditty's sung by heroin chic bulimics and posh afterhours-vip-members only-night clubs. (i love you lindsay and ashley and nicole!!!)

and maybe that's ok! maybe that's how the party gods wanted things to evolve! but i guess we just have to be thankful that there are still the odd group out there who's always ready to trash a hotel room, sleep with some groupies, pass out on stage, and be willing to be ready to take one for the teams of yore in an all-out rawk fest!!!



cause really, do you want this to be your next rock idol???

the 3 c's and the color purple

clothes, compliments, cock and the color purple (the hot new color for guys...spread it around!!) were the themes for the evening of the new year! and it was probably one of the most successful new years i've ever had!! (*knock on wood*)

thanks to everyone who came out to dinner...i don't think i could have planned it any better! (not that i'm gloating...ok, i am a little...) i should really be in p.r. don't you think? and thanks to melissa for suggesting stage 9 as the second venue, i'm so in love with that bar...not that my new years kiss had anything to do with that!! and then dancing till 5 am was a pretty good way to top off the evening!

so...2006...hard to believe, ain't it? glad it started off with the proverbial 'bang', let's just hope it keeps up!! i hope it's a year of thrills, bills, and sexy chills!! (?)

enjoy!

happy new year!!

i just wanted to wish you and yours (yes you, my fellow readers) a very happy new year! remember, drive safe, drink lots, and have a toast to me, i mean your loved ones during this fine holiday season!!

2005 was a good year! i broke a mirror a few months back and have been a tad bit skeptical of going on's ever since...but all in all it's been a good year!

i've lived, i've loved, i've lost, and i've gone shopping! oh god, how i've gone shopping! it's been a year of travel, of hard work, of moving away, and of puppys! and alcohol! (it's always an alcohol year)!

so dear ones, i bid you well on the eve before the new year begins...i hope you all have a steamy kiss at the stroke of midnight, fall down at least once during the night, and wake up on new years day with one rockin' hang-over!!

remember to dress spectacularly, and to leave the car keys at home! keefe's orders!

i hope 2006 keeps you smilin', keeps you lovin', keeps you sexin', and keeps you drinkin'!

god i'm thirsty...

HAPPY NEW YEAR SEXY'S!!


♪cheers♪

enfianced

a funny thing happened last night whilst i was eating dinner; the star-crossed lovers whom i denied entry into my apartment the night before, (i'm a monster, and i apologize) stopped by again to let me in on their BIG news.

christina darrigan and mark skinner...are engaged!!

6 years ago, on the eve of the millennium, they met... sharing their first kiss at the stroke of midnight...they were but kids. trying to find their places in the world, and that special someone to share their lives with.

i love thinking of how they were introduced; our dear sweet eilish was dating a gent by the name of evan...who just happened to be mark's best friend. and as non-chalently as these things go, they were introduced...and the rest my friends is history!

love's a funny thing, ain't it? in the blink of an eye it can grab ya, and six years later you find yourself with a rock on your finger, and thoughts of "modern bride" magazine floating in your head!



christina and mark have always been the couple, who have year after year renewed my faith in relationships. they have continuously surmounted many obstacles (long distance, meddling mothers...tee hee) and have always dealt with their problems in a positive way. i've always found myself comparing my 'attempts' to/with mark and chrissy. if they can do it, then it's possible! (i mean that in a good way!!) mark and christina aren't really the argumentative types, and it's hard to imagine anything really coming between them. when you think of the one you want your best friend to be with for the rest of their life...i can't imagine anybody but mark playing that role...

christina is like my other half. i can't imagine life without her...and if someone's going to take away my grace, officially i mean...i'm glad it's mark! i respect that boy, and the way he treats my lil' baby! i'm glad they found eachother.

one thing i've always admired about the two of them, is their differences. while that might sound a tad strange, what i mean is that they provide a nice balance for eachother. now i don't dare go down that "they complete eachother" path for fear of vomiting over my 'dell', i will however say that they keep eachother grounded. when some couples might let these differences come between them, chris and mark instead worked on them.

and well, when i look back at my failed attempts...i can't help but ask: WHAT'S YOUR SECRET???? just kidding! you crazy kids, getting hitched!! i must admit i'm still a little bit in shock! the thought of one of my ladies getting married...it's quite exhilirating!!

so as 2005 rears to an end this weekend, there's officially another reason to celebrate; so let's raise a glass and toast the newly enfianced...for they are the first of the crew to bite it!!

just kidding! i love you guys, welcome to the family marcus! you know we all come along with her, right?

congratulations!

winter of...

chills, thrills, snowy quills, late-night walks, big boots, down-filled jackets, new glasses, uggs, starting over, changes, new boys, old-lifestyle revisits, xxx rated christmas, leaving things in the past, new found self-confidence, text messaging, halloween cowboy, manline, lavalife, dating, e for the first time in two years, saturday night dance parties, wine-fueled limo rides, puppy's in jackets, shopping, purple, welcoming home christina, new year's eve, smelling like the cold, warm drinks, mittens, homemade scarfs, campfire smell, snowflakes, glittery tree, shoveling walkways hungover, organizing xmas parties, wet paws, hot kisses, remembering dreams, madonna's new cd, daddy-o's birthday, the number 50, dark hair, thesuperficial.com, the gray's xmas eve party, home for the holidays, cabs at 4 am, flannel pajamas, dirrty presents, break-ups, celebrity break-ups, elvis christmas, mr. noodle bowls, fluff, slow work days, tackiness, bliss, sexuality, bundling up, new red uggs, playing with yourself, razr cell phone, good cat scan news, sparkling snow flakes, changing bedroom karma, serving dinner theatre actors at work who you've slept with, christmas drinks, shortbread cookies, hot apple cider, dinner parties, stripes, being cancer free, leather, bunny slippers, coffee press, misbehaving, lump of coal in stockings, gay cowboy movies, and a partridge in a peartree...

naughty santa letter

Santa Clause
North Pole, Earth


Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at melissa's Office party. It was melanie who spiked the punch with too much liquid cocaine. I can't help it if I drank 13 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like dolce and gabbana.

I thought it was funny when I put christina's uggs on my head and danced the running man on the chair while singing `hung up'. I didn't mean to break melissa's vibrator and don't know why melissa would accuse me of theft.

I don't remember calling brandon's wife a furry goat---even though she looked like one with blue eye shadow and black lipstick!

And when I threw up on elissa's husband's thigh, it was only because I ate too much of that popcorn.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my smart car through my neighbor's bedroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a slutty puppy and have me arrested for debauchery!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all silly and goosey. And I'm really not to blame for any of this immoral stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and quickly yours,
joey (Really a nice boy!)

P.S. It's only 6 bucks!

snow

this is the view from my window after nova scotia's silly little first snow fall on saturday morning! or saturday afternoon, i think! (i was a little hung over!!)

the night before was my work's christmas party, so i had to trudge through all that craziness while it was coming down! i started out the night looking pretty, and ended up looking like a drowned puppy...in a shirt and tie nonetheless!!

while i'm far from winter's biggest fan, it doesn't look half bad once it's fallen does it?


it's always funny to see harley react to the first snow fall of the year. he just kinda turns his nose up at it, putters around for a minute, sneezes once or twice, then whines to go inside! jet on the other hand, sputters around in it like a gremlin on coke!! and a word to the 'white dog' owners out there; make sure to put on your glasses in the morning when taking your small white dog outside to pee in the freshly fallen snow...cause it's rediculously easy to lose him in it! such as i did this morning!!

each winter gets a little bit harder to handle, doesn't it? i think the key to making it as short a winter as possible consists of two key things; first, you have to enjoy every waking second of spring/summer...never taking it for granted, and never wasting a moment of sunshine. and the second key, is finding fun winter activities and trying to enjoy them!! such as snow boarding, snow shoeing...

that's all i got...

take that harry potter!!

i've been looking forward to seeing 'the chronicles of narnia: the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe' for so long it's not even funny!! and yesterday, i was relieved!!

i'm not even joking when i say that it was so unbelievably fantastic that i was crying before the credits even rolled!!

i remember reading the complete chronicles of narnia when i was younger, and in the fourth grade, we even acted out "the lion, the witch and the wardrobe" for the school. i can't believe i remember that!! i got to be aslan, (the lion) who's the king of narnia. as soon as aslan appeared on screen, i started to bawl!!! i was sooo excited, and i must say liam neeson did a sexy job of voicing me, i mean aslan!!

when i heard that the narnia books were coming to the screen, i was a tad surprised to hear that "the lion..." was the first one to be made. since "the magician's nephew" is the first in the series. (the "the lion..." is the second, followed by "the horse and his boy"). but 'the magician's nephew' isn't near as exciting as the second one, so i guess it makes sense.

honestly, the story is so wonderful that i predict it'll sweep the harry potter phenomenon off it's little magician feet!!! it's full of magic, fantastic characters, and mind blowing special effects!!

in case you haven't read the books yet, i'll give you a little back story; set during
the second world war, a single mother sends her 4 children to live with the mysterious professor so's out of harms way. when one day during a routine game of hide and seek, the youngest tot lucy discovers 'the wardrobe'. choosing it as her hiding space, she tumbles down the story's surrogate rabbit hole and into the lovely land of narnia.

turns out that narnia was expecting her. having been under the ruling of the white witch for over a hundred years, they've been awaiting the two sons of adam and the two daughters of eve, fortold by the prophecy who are coming to lead the army led by aslan, to regain control of narnia and defeat the white witch forever!

it's a fun filled ride, suitable for kids of all ages. check it out! and be sure to think of me when you see aslan...the similarities are uncanny!

victoria's dirrty little secret

did anyone else watch the hot ass victoria's secret fashion show last night? well i did...well, i taped it. and started watching it this morning. close enough.

and let me just say...WOW...

those ladies are rockin' hot! now while i've always been a fan of fashion television (hey, i'm gay!) and this was quite the original spectacle!

when you think of a fashion show, you think of a boring old runway, complete with your heroin chic models, crazy techno music to set the tone, and bitchy queens in the front row judging...now while this had all of those factors, it also had a whole bunch more. the runway was glittery, the models wore extravagant costumes atop their lingerie, and the music was RocK!!

it was more like a cabaret act, complete with performances by seal and ricky martin!!

and the models, well there wasn't a 'heroin-like' thing about them! victoria only employs the highest class ladies to strut their shit!! heidi klum, (6 months after having a baby), tyra banks (her final victoria's secret show ever), and naomi campbell (absent for last night's festivities).

not to mention a few other up and commers!!

all in all, it was a visual sensation and an entertaining tour de force straight from victoria herself...i wonder what her closet looks like?

i betcha she's a whore...

my first

do you remember your first? well if it was anything like mine, you probably find him hard to forget!! this is mine. nick evans; british, a surgeon, bodybuilder, and dj of the hardest rockin' uk hard house you've ever heard (on the side). met at a rave when i was 18...i was very much in love...

but he was a man of the world, and thusly left me for a life in los angeles (like venice has anything on halifax!!) as an orthopedic surgeon.

we speak every now and then, obviously mostly through email...although we have been known to have the odd dirty phone call over the years. it's been a while, but i just spoke with him today and found his website...and thought i'd share all the naughtiness with you, my fellow readers!!

one

well my lil' ol' blog turned one year old on the 2nd of december!! and i didn't even get a chance to wish it a happy birthday!!

so happy birthday blog! it's been a good year; many bumps, many humps, many hang overs!! but we're still here, for better or for worse! and the future outlook is friendly!!

apparently mars is in my sign until february, making this a prime time to meet new people!! so you better believe i'm gonna go with the stars on that one!!

but aside from my blog turning one, someone else very dear to me had a birthday recently:

MICHELLE JOHNSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

happy birthday my lil' sweet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! see now the whole world knows that you're officially old!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! michelle and i have been friends for like 12 or 13 years! and i love her dearly!!

you rock honey, and let me know if you can perhaps have drinks or something this weekend!!

kisses!

holy flux!

i went to see the new charlize theron flick "aeon flux" last night, and let me just say it was delicious!

on the superficial side of things, it was nice to see charlize pretty again! she can certainly "homlify" herself if she needs too. or should i say "de-beautify" herself on command! anybody see "monster" or "north country". need i say more?

well she's certainly sexy in this role as a trained assassin (with hot black hair)trying to save the world (or what's left of it after a lethal virus wipes out 99 % of the earth's population ) from an evil scientist intent on world destruction!!!

interesting to also see her in a sci-fi role aswell, a genre previously unvisited by miss theron. (and one that suits her surprisingly well! )

all in all the movie is stylishly filmed, and visually stunning when you consider that it's set in 2415.

i just hope the world isn't in that state come that year...go see it it and you'll understand what i mean!

FRIDAY

so last night at reflections, i asked sonny (the dj) to play a song for me, i lied to him and said it was my birthday ( i was pretty outta it, as i am tonight!!)

and he played it...and the bar exploded into song: this is what we were singing to...appropriate?

since you been gone

Here's the thing
We started out friends
It was cool, but it was all pretend
Yeah, yeah, since you been gone
Dedicated, you took the time
Wasn't long till I called you mine
Yeah, yeah, since you been gone
And all you'd ever hear me say
Is how I picture me with you
That's all you'd ever hear me say

But since you been gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin' on, yeah yeah
Thanks to you, now I get what I want
Since you been gone

How can I put it, you put me on
I even fell for that stupid love song
Yeah, yeah, since you been gone
How come I'd never hear you say
I just wanna be with you
Guess you never felt that way

But since you been gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin' on, yeah, yeah
Thanks to you, now I get, I get what I want
Since you been gone

You had your chance, you blew it
Out of sight, out of mind
Shut your mouth, I just can't take it
Again and again and again and again

Since you been gone (since you been gone)
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin' on, yeah yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get, I get what I want
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin' on, yeah yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get (I get)
You should know (you should know) that I get
I get what I want

Since you been gone
Since you been gone
Since you been gone

OWWW OWWW!!!

xxxmas

i couldn't resist. this is a silly lil' photo of one of the first houses i've spotted totally decked out in all it's LED goodness for that special little holiday that's coming at the end of this month!

the pooches and i spotted it (from a mile away) while on one of our evening walks! pretty, isn't it? i'm totally digging these types of lights this year. i think i'm drawn to them because of the way they glow; they're bright but not in a blinding sort of way! and you can spot them from really far away!!

ah, christmas! holidays, cheer, liquor, good food, presents, and family! in that order! actually the main thing i'm totally looking forward to is my lil' christina coming home to me, i mean us on the 18th!!!! the countdown is on my sweet!!!!!!!!!! so clear your schedules my friends, cause there needs to be at least ONE pacifico/reflections night, and at least one marquee retro night (besides melanie's last exam day on the 14th!) and then before you know it, it'll be new years!!!

i know that christmas isn't everyone's idea of a good time, but when you look at the factors (in the order i wrote them above) you can't help look forward to it in some way/shape/or form.

well at least the liquor part...

new eyes

well i saw the eye doctor the other day...and unfortunately the ol' peepers got a tad worse. so due to the change in perscription, i thought what better time than the present to update my frames aswell!

and low and behold, it gave me a reason to meet up with my old boyfriend 'ebay' and use him to get me some fresh lookin' stylin' frames!

these are the ones i came up with! you dig? i'd been 'eyeing' them (get it?) for a while now, but had no real reason to get them. now i do! so your eyes getting worse can actually be a good thing...well, depends on how you look at it!

they're a little on the '50's side...but you can't really go wrong with calvin klein, right?

he's still around, right?