this came yesterday...it was deposited on my desk at work from "your secret admirer". no joke! personally i think it was a joke, cause if it really was from a secret admirer (and not one of my friends making fun of me) why not just come out with it?!? you know what i mean? so instead of a vase, i put it in an old empty vodka bottle...appropriate isn't it?
i challenge you "secret admirer"; come forth with your stalker-like self!! just kidding...i'm pretty sure it was just somebody from my work messing with my emotions. but it's pretty nontheless!!
i only ever received flowers once before; a dozen roses (gag) on valentines day (double gag)...accompanied by a valentine in the coast...the latter was actually sweet.
in other news; ever notice how boys can be completely transparent sometimes...that is, until you date them, then they're a complete and utter mystery!! well let me tell you that when you break-up...it doesn't get any clearer!
there is residualness between him and i...feelings that are still hurt, hearts that still need mending. when we speak we fight, lashing out at eachother...we're still angry...or maybe it's just me. underneath it all, all i want is to be good again.
l.o.v.e
there's that word again. of course we still love eachother...at least i hope so...he's been my best friend for so long, aswell as a lover, and a companion. and now what? everything's still so blurry...things left unsaid, or maybe we've said too much...
i want to move on together...if that makes any sense. but we have to stop this feuding. time is helping, i can tell...for both of us. and i think neither wants to let go...cause it's not about letting go, it's about progressing...just in a different form. but how do you get to that different form?
i think two people dealing with these issues need to speak face to face...the phone never helps anything. we shouldn't be so afraid of eachother. it's just us...and i miss us...and by us, i mean 'you and i'...
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