brad-is-girlfriend

now i'm sure everyone is bored to tears with the whole "brangelina" thing, but when i saw these photos i just had to comment on them. brad pitt definitely starts resembling all the women he dates, doesn't he? he totally went blonde and short with gwynneth, then he took on the natural brunette and long straight look of mizz anniston, and now the dark, sometimes gothic look of angelina. what's up with that?

the one in the middle is by-far, my favourite! it's hilarious, isn't it?? he totally looks exactly like gwynneth! do you remember when they were together? gwynneth was the hot new item back in those days! mainly due to the fact that she was hanging off the arm of brad pitt. but who's to say!! that was back around the time of 'interview with the vampire' for him, and 'sliding doors' for her i think.

blast from the past, eh?

do you think this happens in all relationships?? that one person starts to resemble the other? well this certainly remains true in the 'maneurism' category...i know that i've picked up certain traits from everyone i've ever dated. i mean, when you're constantly around someone for great lenghts of time, you can't help but rub off on them a bit, right? but brad certainly takes it to a new level, doesn't he?!?

now for the obligatory comment on the 'brangelina' epidemic. i wasn't at all interested in the gossip that surrounded these two for the longest time, mainly due to the fact that it was all "heresay" up until their reps confirmed what everyone already knew was true. i mean, yes they were seen with eachother time and time again, but everything was complete rumors up until just recently!! i mean, who was to say they weren't just hangin' out!! i mean they were in a movie together, and maybe they were just friends!

that was plausible until it got out that brad had filed to have lawful adoption rights to both of angie's kids!! now that may just be the kicker right there...kind of a dead giveaway, don't you think?

so the two hottest people in hollywood have finally hooked up!! it was bound to happen people! angelina is the type of girl who even straight ladies would swing the other way for, and well brad...let's just say that this lil' gay boy need not even comment on his appeal for fear of crossing into 'redundancy territory'. they're both retardedly beautiful, and will have beautiful children, and a beautiful home, and continue to make the world a beautiful better place while making the rest of us feel bad about ourselves...yada yada yada!

i hope they make a sex tape, and that that sex tape gets accidentally leaked onto the internet...that would be just awesome!

and sad, for them i mean!

shizzle

you can talk shit, eat shit, do shit, make shit, feel shit, take shit, throw shit, drink shit, move shit, pile shit, bottle shit, hide shit, drive shit, build shit, walk shit, can shit, write shit, fake shit, swallow shit, wear shit, buy shit, throw away shit, pick-up shit, record shit, find shit, type shit, sing shit, watch shit, give shit, carry shit, get rid of shit, bring shit, donate shit, roll shit, lend shit, schedule shit, edit shit, see shit, dig shit, listen to shit, fuck shit, poop shit, pee shit, clean shit, blog shit, call shit, lick shit, cut shit, kill shit, drive shit, shop for shit, steal shit, fly shit, park shit, knight shit, knit shit, chew shit, blow shit up, fuck shit up, make shit up, squeeze shit, dye shit, tape shit, count shit, calculate shit, read shit, remember shit, fire shit, press shit, mark shit, waste shit, drizzle shit, spread shit, be shit, smell shit, massage shit, dress shit, style shit, lie about shit, break-up with shit, dump shit, marry shit, clean shit, ring shit, shave shit, call shit, make-fun of shit, AND ROCK SHIT!!!

phew.

the mix

shall we begin? yes, let's! so in a desperate attempt to fool mother nature into bringing me warmer weather, i returned to my summer colors...summer hair colors, that is. while most of the world is going darker for the winter months, i return to my blonde roots, (no pun intended). and a much shorter, edgier hair cut! basically it came down to missing it...and missing having an excuse for how ditzy i can be! (or how ditzy i am...) not that i didn't enjoy the black hues, but let's face it; the blonde is much more me. (this is the photo i gave jodi).



next on the agenda of what's new is my new obsession with "true religion" jeans. see image. they even named these jeans after me!! seriously, they're called "joey" jeans. isn't that just completely bitchin? how am i to resist? how could i not be taken by a designer reaching out to me in such a manner? do you think they had me in mind while making them? who else could be their muse for 'joey jeans'?? i mean, come on!!!



next, this is a shameless photo...it's a pic of this seller on ebay that i 'came' across one day!! isn't he amazing? he sells shitty clubbing clothes "4 jocks" (seriously that's his selling tag) but he's got a hot ass body, so i had to immortalize him in the "naive inner-working" files. (i think this photo is an add for his 'guide to shaving' kit retailing at about 27 bucks!!) but i tend to review his for sale items...mostly just to gawk!! enjoy!)



so since i'm so graciously going with amanda to get her tongue pierced later on today (ow! ow!) she agreed to doodle a little design for me to add to a tattoo i already have! i almost find it hard to see my original tattoo in her design (that's how good she is) but it's in there...the original idea was a 'tribal spectre' on the back of my calf. but it's a little too small for my liking. (you know how i like 'em big!) so this is one design she made for me.

this is the second. but i have to hold off a little while longer...cause if i get it now, that will be 3 tattoos in 1 year...and i do believe that qualifies me for the tattooed white trash award of the year. well, tattooed classy white trash, riiiight?



so that's the world according to joey these days. i know it's been a while. but there you have it! let's keep dreaming of warmer days, and afternoons spent at the beach, or poolside with a mojito in hand. and you never know, maybe we can change the weather by osmosis!!!

hostel

well if ever there was a reason not to go to europe...this is it! or maybe this is just one of the many reasons to not stay in hostels while over yonder...either way, WATCH OUT!!

from the demented mind of quentin tarantino (or at least from his production company) comes this years sick and twisted tale of death and debauchery. it follows two childhood friends and one drifter as they canoodle across europe getting their feet as wet as possible along the way. the first half of the movie depicts the seedier side of amsterdam complete with it's many many many peepshows and hash cafés, until one night when the boys are recommended to a particular "hostel" where the girls are hot and the sex is aplenty!!



so being the little horn dogs that they are they hustle and bustle over to this alleged hostel, and what they find there is not what the expect...now i won't ruin it for you, but let's just say those who stay in this hostel end up becoming part of some sort of a demented art show where the tourists are the main attraction.

yuck, yuck, yuck...

so if you're into blood and guts, and oh yes...there will be blood...check it out! it reeks of tarantino film style! even though he's only a producer. i'm pretty sure he's found a protege in eli roth the director of the film.

one more thing i'll mention; this was actually brought up in the coast in the review of the flick. eli roth was talking about how isn't it weird that you can keep an "r" rating on a movie where you see someone's eye get burned out with a blow torch...but the second you show two people having graphic sex (and let's face it, is there any other kind?) you get slapped with an nc-17!?! what's up with that? what is it about sex; the most natural human act in the world, that is so awful to see on the screen?!? has violence (something completely unacceptable)been so glamorized and accepted in today's society that it has caused sex (something wonderful that we're all a product of) to become the most taboo thing to watch at the movies???

apparently the mpaa wants us to see people killing eachother more than they want us to be getting off...start writing letters people!! this has to stop!!

there's a little food for horny thought for ya!

discuss.

and go see this movie! you'll be sinfully tickled!

rock star

do you think that every young child grows up wishing and hoping and praying that someday when they're older they'll become a rock star?? i know i did! or maybe it was my parents who wished that fate upon me, and exemplified that by dressing me up in a gold rock star mullet wig and leather jacket with junior snake skin pants comeplete with "kiss" make-up around the eyes one halloween night when i was but a lad...or maybe that's why i'm gay...no, just kidding!

it struck me while i was standing in the line-up in the drug store and peered into the "enegry drink" display case and saw the "rock star" beverage standing there lookin' like a rockin' can of (much needed) beer. and i felt compelled to buy it. maybe it was my destiny calling out to me...or maybe it represented something from my childhood; like a memory waiting to be rediscovered. or maybe it was something from beyond that was telling me to be more edgy...not that's not possible, riiight?

either way, it got me thinking. do you think the rock stars of today exemplify the "live hard, die young, and leave a good looking corpse" way of being that was once the way of yesterday's rock stars?

i mean, you look at ozzy and the crue and axl and the way they lived...and you compare that to the "pop stars" of today??? it's completely uncomparable!!

but maybe that's what happens as the genre gets passed down from generation to generation. aspects get lost in translation, and time changes things. the once booze soaked concerts and rampage fueled after-partys of motley's daze, have been replaced by coke fueled ditty's sung by heroin chic bulimics and posh afterhours-vip-members only-night clubs. (i love you lindsay and ashley and nicole!!!)

and maybe that's ok! maybe that's how the party gods wanted things to evolve! but i guess we just have to be thankful that there are still the odd group out there who's always ready to trash a hotel room, sleep with some groupies, pass out on stage, and be willing to be ready to take one for the teams of yore in an all-out rawk fest!!!



cause really, do you want this to be your next rock idol???

the 3 c's and the color purple

clothes, compliments, cock and the color purple (the hot new color for guys...spread it around!!) were the themes for the evening of the new year! and it was probably one of the most successful new years i've ever had!! (*knock on wood*)

thanks to everyone who came out to dinner...i don't think i could have planned it any better! (not that i'm gloating...ok, i am a little...) i should really be in p.r. don't you think? and thanks to melissa for suggesting stage 9 as the second venue, i'm so in love with that bar...not that my new years kiss had anything to do with that!! and then dancing till 5 am was a pretty good way to top off the evening!

so...2006...hard to believe, ain't it? glad it started off with the proverbial 'bang', let's just hope it keeps up!! i hope it's a year of thrills, bills, and sexy chills!! (?)

enjoy!