A WALK ON THE DARKER SIDE


well turns out that i have a little bit more free time to post a few more halloween thoughts, than i had originally anticipated!! and by 'free time' i mean while i'm waiting for my laundry to finish drying at dear old "dinah's" across the street from school. and with the absence of my iPod today, i'm at a loss of activities to drown her incessant ravings out...so here i am!!

after a much unneeded ordeal with the opposite of fine people at "coastalcontacts.com", my original halloween contact lenses ("manson" style) are not coming. so at the risk of having a 'bad' costume (which will never happen for yours truly), i've decided to modify my "goth" costume idea just a tad.

basically instead of scary white-out-marilyn-manson style lenses, i'm going to refurbish last years "angelic" model...hopefully they will do the trick...although i'm not going to get into just how retardedly pissed off i am at the shits at coastalcontacts, all is not lost dear readers...halloween will still come as expected...

anywho...

this year i've decided to dress as i am not, and go as a "goth" for tonight's halloween festivities. why would a blue eyed sun loving blonde such as myself want to dawn dark apparel and black nail polish for such an event, you ask? well i guess you could say that i've always found myself a tad bit taken by the "goth culture" of yore. you don't see too many "stereotypical" goth-like kids these days, but in my opinion the 'gothic' subculture hasn't strayed too far from view.

what's it all about anyway?f according to my new best friend; wikipedia.com one can identify the subculture as so:

The goth subculture is a contemporary subculture prevalent in many countries. It began in the United Kingdom during the late 1970s to early 1980s in the gothic rock scene, an offshoot of the post-punk genre. The goth subculture has survived much longer than others of the same era. Its imagery and cultural proclivities indicate influences from nineteenth century Gothic literature, mainly through horror movies.

The goth subculture has associated gothic tastes in music and fashion. Gothic music encompasses a number of different styles. Common to all is a tendency towards a “dark” sound and outlook. Styles of dress within the subculture range from death rock, punk, androgynous, some Renaissance and Victorian style clothes, or combinations of the above, most often with black attire, makeup and hair.

does wikipedia have it right in your eyes? is it really just a branch of the 80's punk vibe that we all fell prey to at some time or another? or is it a deeper idea than that?

no one can deny humanity's fascination with darkness, and the macabre. i think it would be foolish for us to say that all of us don't have a dark side to our personality's. even "little miss sunshine" has her shitty days, right? so why do we hide them? has it become so socially unacceptable to dabble in ways that are not the norm that these subcultures have been forced completely underground and out of view? and who's fault is it anyway,that this way of life has become so tabboo?

couldn't you say that maybe those who follow a gothic style of life are just simply being honest? perhaps they listen to that other voice on their shoulder, and this is simply the way they express themselves! i always find it funny that we accept certain styles/ways of life/attire more than others. who ever said that "preppy" is acceptable, and not "goth"?? and will it always be this way? and am i falling into society's trap of alienating certain groups by merely adorning the 'dress-up' attire on halloween? maybe i am adding to the idea that it's not acceptable by almost inadvertantly making fun of it tonight? what do you think?

whatever their/your/my reasons for sometimes allowing the darker side of life to creep in a little, we can't deny that it's there. so yours truly (who's considered 9 days out of 10 as a self-proclaimed Mr. Brightside), will walk on the shadier side of life tonight as a full size, life-like portrayal of HIS dark side...

photographic representations to follow.

A NIGHT TO SCREAM

last year i dedicated a month's worth of blog entries to my favorite howliday, but unfortunately in the essence of time, dear readers you'll just have to settle for this one. (and maybe a few more if i feel inspired!)

ahhh, all hallow's eve...it's soon upon us; the legendary night when the dearly departed spirits of the other world are allowed to return to earth to haunt the unsuspecting, all dressed up with nowhere to go...

the night will be crisp, the candy will be flowing, and no one will go to sleep before taking a quick peak under their bed...just in case...

it's a very odd tradition, isn't it? dressing up in costume, travelling from house to house collecting candy, and preying on eachother's deepest and most ingrained fears. i guess there's no denying just how much the human race loves to be scared...

there's nothing like it in my opinion; that nail biting feeling, the heart pounding, the cold chills, and the hairs on the back of your neck all standing on end...

so as you get ready to celebrate yours truly's favorite night of the year, proceed with caution, dress spectacularly, drink lots, scare everyone, stay out late, and remember to check in your closet before you close your eyes...

oh, and the footsteps you hear outside your bedroom door...prey they go away...


happy halloween

WHAT WAS ONCE

this is more of an apology to all of my fellow readers for not posting anything lately. (how many of you there are!!) you know i don't normally log-on to simply give ya'll a recap of my day's occurances...but this time we'll just write if off as an exception!! and for those of you who i haven't spoken to on the phone in a while; you can take this as a little summary of the last few weeks!!

school is going by very well these days; i'm EXTREMELY busy!! we don't so much have mid-terms in every class but we do have tests, and assignments, and reflections, and papers, and readings, and books to finish, and i'm sure there are a few more tests/papers thrown in there that i have forgot to mention!! so in other words, i haven't had a lot of time to breath since after thanksgiving!! but all is still good!! and by good i mean that i'm keeping myself busy and out of trouble!!

mind you i still find the time to make a trip to canada to go drinkin' with my girls every friday night! (tonight being no exception!!) and it's a good thing i made the treck last friday, other wise i might not have met a certain someone!! i was going to just write solely about him today, but i dont' want ya'll to heave on your keyboards at my gushings that i'd be sure to regurgitate!! he's lovely, he's fantastic, he's passionate, he's sweet, he's thoughtful, he's level-headed, he's not afraid of who he is, and he likes lil' ol' me!!! and don't forget BEAUTIFUL!!

ahem.

so that's been going pretty good!! who would of thought that i'd have to go all the way across the country to find happiness!!

everyone here has gotten progressively closer as the months have rolled on. and i can honestly say that i've made some (hopefully) life-long friendships! we're all here for the same reasons, and every day i wake up i always find myself thinking that i'm at summer camp or something! but then i pinch myself and realize that, i'm just home!! this is my home, for now! and it hit me a little while ago just how happy i am here!! it's nice to be faced every day with new experiences, and new faces! let's face it, halifax (not the people in it...or not most of them anyway) had gotten old to me. and some may make fun of me for being all the way in bum fuck nowhere, but to them i turn a blind eye now, and simply shrug it off! i'm happy!

i still miss my beloved's, and to you i say don't worry, december will be here before you know it! i'm looking forward to coming home, and i'm not at the same time. thanksgiving didn't turn out totally the way i had hoped...drama oozes from that city, and i'm so over it. (you know what i'm talking about). being unhappy and worrying too much about things that can't be helped is stupid and unproductive, and i'm done with it. leave those things behind, and keep your eyes on the road ahead.

so i bid you a temporary farewell, and a kiss and a hug until i write to you all again...have a fantastic weekend, blow a kiss to the halifax air, and keep on smiling...it looks good on you!

All of us believe
That this is not up to you
The fact of the matter is
That it's up to me

Hey, Hey, Hey
Hey, Hey, Hey
Let's Go

How can we fake this anymore (anymore)
Turn our backs away, and choose to just ignore (choose to just ignore)
(Some say) Some say it's ignorance
It makes me feel some innocence
(Some say) It takes away a part of me
But I won't let go

Tell me why can't you see, it's not the way (not the way)
When we all fall down, it will be too late
Why is there no reason we can't change (no reason)
When we all fall down, who will take the blame
What will it take

Nothing could ever be this real (be this real)
A life unsatisfied that I could never feel (I could never feel)
(Some say) This future's not so bright
Some can't make the sacrifice
(Some say) It's much more than just black and white
And I won't follow

Tell me why can't you see, it's not the way (not the way)
When we all fall down, it will be too late
Why is there no reason we can't change (no reason)
When we all fall down, who will take the blame
What will it take

Times like these I've come to see how,
Everything but time is running out

Hey, Hey, Hey
Hey, Hey, Hey
What

All of us believe in what we need
What we have's what we don't see

Tell me why can't you see, it's not the way (not the way)
When we all fall down, it will be too late
Why is there no reason we can't change (no reason)
When we all fall down, who will take the blame
What will it take

Tell me why can't you see, it's not the way (not the way)
(so how long, has this gone on, i don't see this ending)
When we all fall down, it will be too late
(it's too late, we can't change, what has now begun)
Why is there no reason we can't change (no reason)
(we act like, its not right, why are we pretending)
When we all fall down, who will take the blame
(we've been wrong, for so long)
What will it take
(WE'VE KNOWN THIS ALL ALONG)

what exactly does christina do??

Self-proclaimed definition of an occupational therapist
by chrissy darrigan

Occupational therapy,
What is that you say?
Is it related to finding others work?
And is physio the same?

The truth is it is neither,
But you can find us everywhere.
In hospitals, schools, or community centres.
There’s no limit to where we care.

We work with people with physical disabilities,
And mental health issues too.
We work with those who have been injured
Neglected, or abused.

With babies, and young children,
Middle aged and older folks,
No matter where one is in the life span
We may be able to provide some help

An occupation is not just a job
But refers to all meaningful things you do
It could be dining, studying or leisure,
It’s really up to you

There activities that you complete
Out of desire, need or expectation
That you would surely miss,
If unable to do them for one or more reasons

So when one needs to re-learn an activity
Or have one changed to meet present needs
Acquire some new skills
Or home adaptations that will please

Occupational therapists are present
Focused on the goals you would like to achieve
We’ll listen to your stories
Our targeted outcomes are your dreams


isn't our little poo a talented little one???

25 years crazy,
not a moment too late,
here and there and back again,
now deciding my own fate.

new place, new friends, new everything,
old behind, looking ahead,
no regrets, no inhibitions,
loving more instead.

cutting you off,
knowing it's for my own good,
people who hold you back,
never totally understood.

sometimes wondering what if,
dreaming of a different time,
when things seemed clearer,
addicted like a thief to a life of crime.

do we ever move on,
or stay connected in our minds,
to you, to him, to everyone,
to an idea less sublime.

such excitement is sure to lie,
in classrooms and with the young,
try my best to keep the chin up,
and try my best not to get stung.

love happens when it shouldn't,
a surprise sometimes that smiles,
rather feel it than rather not,
will always be in style.

wait for it, you know you want to,
never wanting to wait to play,
don't wanna lose this feeling,
turn it up and make it stay.

too many cups of fun, a pinch of drama= one helluva weekend!!

that was sexual

THAT 4 LETTER WORD

no it's not a dirty one, it's "home" you pervs!! just kidding...i probably shouldn't even be writing about this tonight cause it's gonna get me even more excited than i already am. but i just wanted to express just how pumped i am to be going home tomorrow!!

it's funny how someone can miss 'home' so much, eh? i mean i've totally settled into a groove up here in maine, but a piece of my heart obviously still misses the familiar.

when things are new and undiscovered, they're fun and exciting and thrilling and very much all encompassing, especially when they're centered around scholastic reasons. but when you think back to the place you left, you can't help but yearn...you can't help but reminesce, and you can't help but miss...

will home be this place again? will you return to the familiar to start all over again, or will this move be the first of many? will you repeat the actions of the last few months all over again in another year, or will we let the yearning we feel for the past take over and force us back looking for it again? and what happens if when you go back 'home' everything THERE is different? all the old friends gone away, and the 'good old days' a distant memory?

for me that's not really an issue right now, cause i haven't been gone nearly long enough for much to have changed, but what about in a year from now? i can't expect to return and expect things to have remained the same...so where do you go from there? well the only answer to that, is that only time will tell...

there's that concept again, eh? what do you think?

SEDUCTIVE, YOU

have you ever noticed in songs when the singer is singing TO someone, it's always "YOU"...never a name, always "you..." who's you??? why not name them? that's why i've always found it sometimes hard to actually feel for the artist lost in a lamenting love song, when i know for a fact that they're happily married or something...

do you know what i mean? most songs out there on the market these days are love songs, and most are sad ones singing about how they just got their hearts crushed...and all that bullshit, when in real life they're married with three kids!! how are we to relate to that, and how are we to think they actually know how we're feeling (assuming we're currently going through something similar to the song's content) when we know it's all for show??

getting back to the "you" factor; i think it's more seductive for the object of the singer's affection to remain nameless...faceless...it's almost as if they're talking to us...just like poetry; being vague seems to have the better results. i wonder why that is?

try it next time your favorite love song comes on the radio...who's "you"? who are they singing to? a past lover? a current behind-the-scenes mistress? it certainly adds an aspect of mystery to it, doesn't it?