WINTER OF...

education, teachers, maine, fort kent, snow snow and more snow, gwen stefani's new album, the U.S of A, new black uggs, drinks at the bowling alley, claire, long drives, the beach on christmas eve, black christmas, blonde again, no more bad relationships, no more children, wayyon, peori mixes, ghetto music, where'd joey go??, partyin' at old haunts, rcmp graduations, friends with money, vodka, cola, forgetting about 2006, moving forward, careers, future longings to teach in texas, future longings to teach in new zealand, dreaming of warmer weather, melatonin, getting detained by customs officers, puppy manicures, cold basements, access ns, new sex toys, naming new sex toys, ice ice baby, rob, still on veggies, tiny christmas trees, friends leaving, rollin', MYSPACE fiend, kids books, louis vuitton, wife-mistress-bitches in clair new brunswick, akon, "smack that", marlboro ultra light menthols, hypnotists, msn, new blogger, crunches and push-ups, fucking up ex boyfriends shit, pop art, soda, no more mcdies, porn star myspace friends, gwen stefani concert in february, vegas, working with another gay joey, making out in bathroom stalls with exes while another ex thinks your in there doing coke or having sex just to piss him off, block and delete, growing up, having enough of old things, chillaxin, touching, fucking, playing, wind it up, new lubricants, not getting along with your father, the grays, you're not irreplacable, extremists, slippers, clear credit card bills, straws, pacifico bathroom attendants, new, don't get it twisted don't get clever this is the most craziest shit ever, 2007

2006

well as the holidays wrap up for yet another year, one night of guaranteed debauchery still is waiting in the wings...you betcha, it's the night we wave a fond farewell to 2006 and with open drunken arms welcome in the new year, in hopes that it will bring us tidings of love and joy...and a few less shit storms than the past one!

i don't know about you, but i'm not the least bit sad to see 2006 come to an end. it started out a little bit promising, then it all fell apart. come to think of it, besides me moving away and going back to school, not much of any 'good' has actually happened this year. and i'm not saying this to be depressing, it's just that well...it can only get better, right?? well, at least i hope so.

sure we had some good times, some drunken times, some happy times, some laughs, and some new pairs of shoes...but as optimistic as i am in regards to life and everything in general, i can't really say that 2006 has brought me any sort of advancements. i've had a slew of failed relationships this year, and some sadness, and some overall shitty bad moods...BUT, the outlook is good!!! you heard it here first.

so come on 2007!!! let's make this a rockin' one! school is amazing, i'm surrounded by fantastic people, i have a clearer head than i did at the beginning of last year, and i'm (overall) in a lovely place.

so as we get ready to kick 2006's ass out the door, let's raise a glass of baby pink champagne in hopes of more amazing times to come!

cheers!

Grindhouse trailer

this is the trailer for the movies i was talking about (below)...enjoy!!

GRINDHOUSE

i don't know if ya'll have heard of quentin tarantino's and robert rodriquez' new double-feature horror flicks that are coming out in april, but if you haven't heard...consider yourself warned!! it's apparently a double-feature horror flick marathon, featuring two movies (one by each master of mayhem) and you can say that i'm a tad bit wet over the idea.

being a long-time tarantino devotee, i would await the opening of his newest film with the anticipation of a pervert on toonie-tuesday...make it a double feature with his side-kick (and equally talented) roberto rodriguez and i'm gonna cum in my pants!!

i've seen both previews, and the most i can gather from them is that quentin's is about a woman who has her leg amputated and replaced with a machine gun...and the other has something to do with a demented hospital...hmmmm, can you say EXXXCITING?!?

they're both apparently going with the theme of the blaxploitation films of the '70's, and will both feature 'fake movie trailers' for imaginative new movies that don't exist...

what can we expect from mr tarantino, riight??

check out the extended trailers online...you'll be impressed!

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM ME AND THE KING

well i couldn't think of a better way to wish ya'll a merry ho ho than with the king himself!! no one can sing xmas tunes like elvis; his 'blue christmas' album is still to this day some of my favorite christmas music of all time, and i don't think i'll ever get tired of hearing "blue christmas" from the most beautiful man that ever lived!

today i spent the afternoon at the one place in this province that i don't think i could ever get tired of seeing; the beach!! it was beautiful, and the waves were huge! and now i remember why i loved it here!! what a better way to spend christmas eve than at the beach, right?

so i just wanted to write a quick post wishing you and yours all the happiness that this time of year can bring! and no matter who you are, or where you celebrate, or with whom you do, make sure to have a jolly one!

be sure to drink lots o' nog, listen to 'blue christmas' at least once (for me!!), spend time with your family, and eat way too much! 'tis the season!!

i love you bitches,

merry christmas

ADDICTED TO JERKS

well yesterday miss jenn and myself were walking through the mall on lunch, and i had an epiphany; i am completely, totally, 100% addicted to jerks!!!

honestly; take all the amazing nice men who have been interested in me in my life, all the men who have given me everything i THOUGHT i wanted...and what did i do? nothing...i did nothing with them...why, you ask?? i just wasn't interested! but give me an asshole; someone who's attention and love and affection i practically have to BEG for on a good night...and i can't get enough!!! i'd fight till my fingers bleed for someone who treated me badly...

i don't understand it!!!!

what is the rationality behind this people?? will somebody please tell me? why are assholes so damn attractive? why is it that someone who makes you fight for their attention, and keep you up at night wondering where they are, or keep you asking yourself why they didn't call, or keep you hanging on by a thread... sound like a good idea??? it's like we're fucking masochists, and enjoy punishing ourselves.

give us a nice guy, who would pay us all the attention we'd ever want/need, be at our beck and call all day long, shower us with gifts and kisses, say everything we ever want to hear, and ALWAYS CALL WHEN THEY SAY THEY WILL...and we run for cover!! we complain that they're TOO ATTENTIVE, or that we're being suffocated, or that we need space, or that things are getting too serious...

why is it that the tables can turn so quickly, and suddenly we become the needy/clingy/'my boyfriend doesn't pay enough attention to me' whiny little bitch, who's more than willing to go back for more pain time and time again?!?!?!?

someone needs to write a book about "the perfect relationship", and everyone has to read it and then all relationships would last forever and be happy...

maybe stephen king could write it...

DON'T GET IT TWISTED, DON'T GET CLEVER, THIS IS THE MOST CRAZIEST SHIT EVER

pete wentz is hotttttt...just wanted to start today's post off with a little sanna saaaan!! and while on the topic; have y'all seen him naked?? there was an email circulating a while back with leaked cell phone pics of my manz pete wentz fondling himself...it was nice!!

i was going to dedicate today's post to talking all about, actually scratch that; BITCHING about how trying on my nerves it is to be living back with the parentals while i'm home over christmas break...but i seem to have lost my urge to complain for the day.

basically my frustrations aren't any more abundant than the ones i originally felt while home in the summer time; i'm stuck in the basement, the dogs aren't allowed on the couch, and i have no real privacy, blah blah blah...so i'm not going to bore my fellow readers with my trivial complaints.

christmas is near, the drinks will soon be flowing, and work is somewhat slow (hence why i have time to sit here and write to you guys!!) so why complain,right??

as i'm writing this, i'm now realizing that there was in fact no real subject behind this post...but i guess it goes nicely with my 'naive inner-workings' title...

anyways...

XXX MAS

well it's almost that time again, yup you guessed it; XXX MAS TIME!!! there's a certain hustle and bustle in people's step, a crispness in the air, and annoying caroling heard everywhere you go!

ahhh, the holidays!

although this year i digress; i just don't feel it. how could this be? normally i'm stoked to go gift shopping, normally i count down the days to santa's arrival, normally i'm in party-planning mode...but this year all i wanna do is lay down and take a big ol' nap!

don't get me wrong; i'm totally up for a redonkulously HUGE party, and can't wait for new year's eve (as usual) but as for christmas, i really just don't care!!

perhaps it's the fact that i'm still in school mode that's responsible for taking away my christmas buzz;, or perhaps it could be the fact that i left my xmas spirit in fort kent; or perhaps it could be the fact that i'm working my whole break away and therefore it just doesn't feel like i'm actually on holidays...who knows??

i even tried watching christmas specials on tv to try and pep up the ol' christmas spirit...but sadly, to no avail...

so i guess i'll just have to enjoy the holidays from my usual slightly drunken standpoint that's typical of the keefe family!! don't worry, tis the reason for the season, riiiight??

cheers

harley on the path

home

pop artiste extraordinaire

do you love it?

STARFUCKS, MALLS, AND GAY BOYZ

well halifax and i have met again; yup this little twink has left the confines of fort kent and retuned to civilisation!! and let me be the first to say how fuckin' great it feels to be back in a city...a real city, not a town, not a village, but a sweet sweet city!! full of starbucks (where i'm sitting right now, rambling aestheterically on my laptop) malls and boutiques aplenty, and more gay men than you can shake a gay stick at!!

ahhhh, feels nice!

i drew a conclusion on fort kent recently. it only tooke me a semester to actually decide my take on it, but rather late than never riiiight?? basically my advice for any of you out there looking to take up residence in "the little city that could" be forwarned; it gives you waaaay too much time to think!! due to it's lack of diversions, and the fact that you will probably get to know almost EVERYONE who lives there at some point during your stay (which can be a good and a bad thing) you can't help but think about pretty much everything.

i went there with (what i thought was) a relatively clear head; i thought i knew what i wanted and was ready for a fresh start. but once i settled in and realized that "wow, this is it??" i immediately was forced inward on myself, and began thinking a little too hard about myself, and about life in general. and well, i guess you could say that i learned a lot about myself since i've been there. i now have a clearer perception of what i want out of life, i know now what type of a person i should be with, and i now know what type of people i want to surround myself with!

and for that i thank you, fort kent!

when you're in a city, you have tonnes and tonnes of things you can do to take your mind off of something that's bothering you. you can go to the movies, you can go to a club, or you can sit in a coffee shop and just hang with friends. but when all that's taken away from you, and you find yourself stuck in a place where there's nothing to do but watch paint dry on a wednesday night, you will be forced to THINK, and to reconsider things, and to doubt that you really know yourself at all...

so it's been quite the eye opening experience so far...and i'm looking forward to seeing how the second half will play out.

so wish me luck on my journey's in the future during my love affair with northern maine...but not so fast yo, i still have lots of damage to do to this fair city i used to call home while i'm here...so look out!!!!

wind it up

Eating Out

k, i know i'm a youtube addict, but this is from the movie "eating out" and i know you'll love it...make sure the sound is up!! the line about "being gang-raped" is classic!!

oh, and i wanted to tell all ya'll about my myspace account...check it out! it's like my blog part 2! www.myspace.com/joeykeefe

i hope you enjoy kiddies, love, me

Video Mash Up-Gwen Stefani/Madonna-What u waitin 4/hung up

love this video...genius, pure genius.

BUY IT BITCHES!!today we celebrate the other lady in my life (yesterday it was jenna), and the release of her sophomore album appropriately entitled "the sweet escape". you got it kiddies, today miss gwen releases her follow-up record to L.A.M.B, and i couldn't be more excited!! i've been a die-hard gwen fan for years...remember i still hold true to my original statement that i'd cut off my left pinky right now to go see "no doubt" in concert...and i fell totally head over heals in love with her first solo release, and from what i hear, this cd promises much of the same...if not better!!originally not the biggest fan of her first release "wind it up", in fact i even downloaded it twice just to make sure i had the right song...it just didn't sound like her at all. but at a second listen, i realized "it sounds EXACTLY like my gwennie!!" full of blips, quirks, twirks, and a beat to kill a horse...what more could you ask for!! i was a little peeved at the fact that it took her so long to come back to us, uh, i mean the music industry...but cut her some slack, she was off makin' babies!! so leave the comfort of your homes asap kiddies and go pick up her newest release...you won't be disappointed. the revues say it's a little more 80's vibe than her first solo cd, with just the edginess we've come to expect from our little lamb. tracks to look out for:1. wind it up2. 4 in the morning3. orange county girli heard live versions of all of them, and they're fantastic...enjoy!!

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

i'm hali bound in 9 days...and i couldn't be happier about it...i was talking with my wife today, and we both decided we need a vacation!! unlike our other (smarter) classmate counterparts, we stayed in fort kent over the american thanksgiving...for our boyfriends...and ended up having the worst weekend of our entire time here...grrr, is all i can say.

but the outlook for christmas break is exceedingly good!! i'm going to go back to work, shop, go clubbing, and hang out with my family...

so if you're one of my family members reading this, and by family i mean my friends, know that i never stopped thinking of you this entire time, and can't wait to see your smiling faces, and get one of your loving hugs!

being here has opened up my eyes to the fact that home is where your heart is! and while i consider fort kent to be my home now, halifax (drama included) will always have a soft spot in my soul...we've been through a lot, ol' hali and i...and i eagerly anticipate it's feeling of comfort, of familiarity, and of love!

hard times will be everywhere...and it's wrong to blame a place for shitty things...the fact is, they happen! and this journey has begun to force the harsh realization that boys will come and go, good times will be mixed with sad ones, and life will sometimes throw you curve balls! the best thing we can all do, is keep smiling, dance and sing whenever we can, and buckle in and enjoy the ride!

surfs up kiddies!

i totally found the only gay boy in fort kent...and fucked him...repeatedly! then realized that i don't date "kids" anymore...especially not fuckin' retarded ones! NEXXXXXT!!!!!!

that was sexual

wow, this has been quite a ride so far...good ol' fort kent, maine...where do i even begin. when i left halifax in august, i was so excited to be free from it. i had a serious hate-on for that town...and over thanksgiving it just became worse. i held to my previously considered notion that that city has become toxic for me...that it oozed drama...and that nothing good could any longer come from it.

and then i came here...800 kilometres away from the place i called home for my entire life...and i was so sure that it would be easier. everything would be more clear, and i would be able to reconnect with the "me" that i felt that i had lost over the past year or so...

school is amazing...i'm constantly learning so much, and i'm completely surrounded by the most amazing group of friends and classmates that i could have ever hoped for. so in that regard i consider myself to be the luckiest boy in the world.

but as fate has somehow allowed, i fell in love again...and as the red flags became rationalized away, as "I" tend to allow, i ignored the signs...and once again it ended...but this time was different, this time i didn't lose a part of my lil' heart...this time (even though i hurt) i was actually made aware of just what i need...and just what i deserve...and just what i won't settle for...

i think my greatest problem in relationships has been that i will fight till my knuckles bleed for something that may not be worth fighting for. and now i know just what is worth it, and just what i have to let go...

so as i end this semester, i let go of all toxic anger...i let go of my fear of being alone...and i let go of that longing to fix something that should forever remain broken.

i know a little more now just what i want...what i deserve...and above all what i don't ever want to have again...and i feel good!

lyke, OMG y'all

inked on skin for life,

something alike and yet the same,

a reason and symbol left behind,

full of danger and yet so tame.

what you want will always happen

never give up on what's true,

blue, green, black and blonde,

something old somehow seems new.

through music and through words,

both crafted by the hand,

so much more hopefully to come,

like a plane that will not land.

so much beauty in your eyes,

expressed through what you do,

with a click and a sweep of a brush

your vision always shines through.

promise to make it a better one,

last year is done and through,

breath deeply and prepare to blow,

this time the birthday boy is you.

xoxo

that was sexual

WIND IT UP!!!!!!!!!

WHAT R U LISTENING 2 RIGHT NOW?

1. moi lolita- alizee (loves it, thanks jen!)

2. glamorous- fergie

3. love stoned- justin timberlake

4. hung up/what u waitin' 4 (mash mix)- madonna & gwen stefani

5. wind it up- gwen stefani

6. nothing in this world- paris hilton

7. rock this party- bob sinclaire

8. as lovers go-dashboard confessional

9. maneater- nelly furtado

10. lips of an angel- hinder

11. bling- the killers

12. nails for breakfast, tacks for supper- panic! at the disco

13. u + u'r hand- pink

14. here i go again- rihanna

15. i don't feel like dancin'- the scissor sisters

16. no reason- sum 41

17. hit me baby, one more time- dilana

18. spooky little girl like you- ?

19. stolen- dashboard confessional

20. when you gonna give it up- sean paul

download away!

LAST BIT OF TRASH FOR THE DAY...

and by posting this pic, i've officially commented on the lives of all my girls today!! yes boys, this is paris and brit-brit hangin' tough...what's the world coming to, i know!!!

so lil' lady spears has gotten herself a nice hefty divorce from that skeezy excuse for a human being, has taken up the cigs once again (hopefully not around the kidz that is) gotten herself a new weave, and apparently has forgotten to keep her pants on when she goes out.

do you see what hanging out with paris hilton can do to a girl?? apparently, they were partyin' it up in vegas, and the girl decided to take off her pantaloons, and parade around the club in only her fishnet stockings...my oh my...just when i was getting high hopes for her again...she pulls a "no pants" trick on us!!!

no, it's not that bad...a little tasteless, yes, but not that terrible. at least she's still wearing shoes, right? unless she ditched those in the bathroom letting history repeat itself...no, she wouldn't...would she?

but seriously, the girl's lookin' mighty fine, and i'm happy to report that she's in the works on a new album these days, due out early next year.

i guess you could say i'm mildly excited...

uh huh.

MIZZ RICHIE ALSO LOOKIN' A LITTLE DARK THESE DAYS

my other favorite "skeletwin" (coined by trent; love you!!) the other pictured below, has been sporting a noticeably darker shade around town these days. and i must say i'm a little torn as to how i feel about it.

i was behind brit-brit when she went black, and even lil' l.lo looks mighty ravishing as a dark brunette...but lil' richie has me on the fence.

blonde rocks, and it always will...there's no denying that. but i must send some "maine kudos" out to my ladies for taking a stab at lookin' different!! keep on doin' your (tiny) thang girls, the gays are behind ya!!!

the caption beneath this photo, in case you were interested in the other-less-superficial-side to life, is that there was a rumor that poor nicole has had "reverse gastric bypass" surgery (i think) in an attempt to make her look...plumper? she of course denies any such rumors.

ahem.

L. LO'S TRANSFORMATION INTO DEMI MOORE IS COMPLETE

it's been coming for a while now, as you can tell...the little redhead who could, has officially delved a little too far into the 'darker side' of life, and has become none other than demi moore.

the resemblance is uncanny. the long dark locks, the tanned skin, the hanging-on to elite fashionistas; that's donna karan by the way. there's actually another pic of the two of them making out (ok, kissing on the lips) that was taken a few moments after this one, but i couldn't bring myself to post it...look around and i'm sure you'll find it...not that exciting boys, don't get your panties in a twist...

she's quite the chameleon, our little l.lo...blonde one second, coked out the next...where does she find the time?

POP ART

last weekend when i was spending money that i don't have in bangor, i came across a camera that mattinc had told me about. it's a pop art camera that takes four different pictures at four different angles, in four different colors (blue, red, yellow and green) at the same time.

how excited am i??? very, people, very.

i've had a love for pop art for many years now; this is a pop art rendition of miss marilyn, to give you all an idea of what i mean. i do believe this one was done by andy warhol, back in the day...

i don't really know what it is about this art style that i love so much, but let's just say that my obsession is growing!! i guess you could say that it's certainly a little off, and a super-stylized depiction of a life through a technicolor lense. it's the contrasts that i enjoy the most i think...

so needless to say i've been taking pictures like crazy lately. and if you move the camera as you're taking a picture, it sepposedly creates a blurred effect in at least one of the four pictures it takes.

hopefully when rite aid gets the technology to put their photos on a disc, i'll be able to post some of them on my blog and give you all a little taste of the artiste i've become!

tee hee...stop smirking.

GET IT

GET IT






















take it, want it, give it, get it,
i'm lucky, you're lucky, open it up,
see what i see, not what you do,
you be my drink, i'll be your cup

beauty runs deeper than skin,
soul, body, and heart,
attraction is the whole,
never wanting to be apart

stars can be blind,
people can be too,
forget what's in your head,
try to forever see through

forever must be happy,
content with the you,
take it, leave it, listen to it,
i'm the one that is true

you're my mister and my sir,
listen for my sweet ring,
play it, write it, blue and green,
beautiful sunshine let it sing

that was sexual

LOVE STONED

those flashing lights come from everywhere, the way they hit it, i just stop and stare...

she's got me love stoned...i think i'm love stoned...she's got me love stoned...i think that she knows, i think that she knows...oh, oh, oh...i think that she knows, i think that she knows, oh, oh...oh

and now i walk around without a care, she's got me hooked, it just ain't fair...i'm love stoned, and i swear that she knows...i swear that she knows...

FINITO

well i can't say i didn't see it coming...obviously my brit-brit is waaaay too good for this fuckin' loser federline-character...i mean come on, people!! what did she ever see in him?!?

if it wasn't his skeezy-homey-g-wannabe-gangster style of wife-beaters and below the knee shorts, it was his revolting way he carried himself (wait, that's kinda the same thing...) or his laughable attempt at a music career.

personally, i think he was constantly spiking brit-brit's punch with somesort of muscle relaxant that enabled him to spread his skanky seed inside her in hopes of carrying on his family name...

and while we can't say he wasn't a tad bit successful in that attempt (they just had their second horny love-child) it seems as though ms. spears has gotten off the zoloft and woken up from her temporary-insanity driven marriage-spell to this fuck-wad and officially signed the "irreconciable-differences" driven divorce papers!

let's all take a moment out of our busy day and let out a "FUCKIN' 'EH" for britney's realization of what the rest of the world has always known was a devastating and pukishly disgusting mistake.

right on ya, brit!

IN MY HEAD

why is it that there always seems to be something to be worried about? seriously, maybe i can attribute my worrysome nature to the obsessive-compulsive nature that seems to run in my family, or maybe it was the years of popping pills that has caused me to develop pre-mature age lines...but whatever the reason, why do i always let myself become plagued by something??

if it's not this thing, then it's that...or if it's not you i'm worried about, it's him i'm obsessing about. when does it end? do i find some sort of odd pleasure in being constantly paranoid about the people/things in my life? or is it just a part of my personality?

and how do some people just seem to breeze through potentially stressful situations without even a hint of worry? what's their secret? cause i'd really really kill to know...

i don't consider myself a self-conscious person, but every now and then my paranoid nature catches up with me and my whole world seems to fall apart over something that's (usually, and hopefully) self-constructed without any real source or cause. it's usually all in my head, but why do i find myself totally helpless when it comes to letting those things go??

usually the issues don't last for too long, but every now and then something happens that sends me into a retarded paranoid neurotic tizzy!!!!

HELP!!

A WALK ON THE DARKER SIDE


well turns out that i have a little bit more free time to post a few more halloween thoughts, than i had originally anticipated!! and by 'free time' i mean while i'm waiting for my laundry to finish drying at dear old "dinah's" across the street from school. and with the absence of my iPod today, i'm at a loss of activities to drown her incessant ravings out...so here i am!!

after a much unneeded ordeal with the opposite of fine people at "coastalcontacts.com", my original halloween contact lenses ("manson" style) are not coming. so at the risk of having a 'bad' costume (which will never happen for yours truly), i've decided to modify my "goth" costume idea just a tad.

basically instead of scary white-out-marilyn-manson style lenses, i'm going to refurbish last years "angelic" model...hopefully they will do the trick...although i'm not going to get into just how retardedly pissed off i am at the shits at coastalcontacts, all is not lost dear readers...halloween will still come as expected...

anywho...

this year i've decided to dress as i am not, and go as a "goth" for tonight's halloween festivities. why would a blue eyed sun loving blonde such as myself want to dawn dark apparel and black nail polish for such an event, you ask? well i guess you could say that i've always found myself a tad bit taken by the "goth culture" of yore. you don't see too many "stereotypical" goth-like kids these days, but in my opinion the 'gothic' subculture hasn't strayed too far from view.

what's it all about anyway?f according to my new best friend; wikipedia.com one can identify the subculture as so:

The goth subculture is a contemporary subculture prevalent in many countries. It began in the United Kingdom during the late 1970s to early 1980s in the gothic rock scene, an offshoot of the post-punk genre. The goth subculture has survived much longer than others of the same era. Its imagery and cultural proclivities indicate influences from nineteenth century Gothic literature, mainly through horror movies.

The goth subculture has associated gothic tastes in music and fashion. Gothic music encompasses a number of different styles. Common to all is a tendency towards a “dark” sound and outlook. Styles of dress within the subculture range from death rock, punk, androgynous, some Renaissance and Victorian style clothes, or combinations of the above, most often with black attire, makeup and hair.

does wikipedia have it right in your eyes? is it really just a branch of the 80's punk vibe that we all fell prey to at some time or another? or is it a deeper idea than that?

no one can deny humanity's fascination with darkness, and the macabre. i think it would be foolish for us to say that all of us don't have a dark side to our personality's. even "little miss sunshine" has her shitty days, right? so why do we hide them? has it become so socially unacceptable to dabble in ways that are not the norm that these subcultures have been forced completely underground and out of view? and who's fault is it anyway,that this way of life has become so tabboo?

couldn't you say that maybe those who follow a gothic style of life are just simply being honest? perhaps they listen to that other voice on their shoulder, and this is simply the way they express themselves! i always find it funny that we accept certain styles/ways of life/attire more than others. who ever said that "preppy" is acceptable, and not "goth"?? and will it always be this way? and am i falling into society's trap of alienating certain groups by merely adorning the 'dress-up' attire on halloween? maybe i am adding to the idea that it's not acceptable by almost inadvertantly making fun of it tonight? what do you think?

whatever their/your/my reasons for sometimes allowing the darker side of life to creep in a little, we can't deny that it's there. so yours truly (who's considered 9 days out of 10 as a self-proclaimed Mr. Brightside), will walk on the shadier side of life tonight as a full size, life-like portrayal of HIS dark side...

photographic representations to follow.

A NIGHT TO SCREAM

last year i dedicated a month's worth of blog entries to my favorite howliday, but unfortunately in the essence of time, dear readers you'll just have to settle for this one. (and maybe a few more if i feel inspired!)

ahhh, all hallow's eve...it's soon upon us; the legendary night when the dearly departed spirits of the other world are allowed to return to earth to haunt the unsuspecting, all dressed up with nowhere to go...

the night will be crisp, the candy will be flowing, and no one will go to sleep before taking a quick peak under their bed...just in case...

it's a very odd tradition, isn't it? dressing up in costume, travelling from house to house collecting candy, and preying on eachother's deepest and most ingrained fears. i guess there's no denying just how much the human race loves to be scared...

there's nothing like it in my opinion; that nail biting feeling, the heart pounding, the cold chills, and the hairs on the back of your neck all standing on end...

so as you get ready to celebrate yours truly's favorite night of the year, proceed with caution, dress spectacularly, drink lots, scare everyone, stay out late, and remember to check in your closet before you close your eyes...

oh, and the footsteps you hear outside your bedroom door...prey they go away...


happy halloween

WHAT WAS ONCE

this is more of an apology to all of my fellow readers for not posting anything lately. (how many of you there are!!) you know i don't normally log-on to simply give ya'll a recap of my day's occurances...but this time we'll just write if off as an exception!! and for those of you who i haven't spoken to on the phone in a while; you can take this as a little summary of the last few weeks!!

school is going by very well these days; i'm EXTREMELY busy!! we don't so much have mid-terms in every class but we do have tests, and assignments, and reflections, and papers, and readings, and books to finish, and i'm sure there are a few more tests/papers thrown in there that i have forgot to mention!! so in other words, i haven't had a lot of time to breath since after thanksgiving!! but all is still good!! and by good i mean that i'm keeping myself busy and out of trouble!!

mind you i still find the time to make a trip to canada to go drinkin' with my girls every friday night! (tonight being no exception!!) and it's a good thing i made the treck last friday, other wise i might not have met a certain someone!! i was going to just write solely about him today, but i dont' want ya'll to heave on your keyboards at my gushings that i'd be sure to regurgitate!! he's lovely, he's fantastic, he's passionate, he's sweet, he's thoughtful, he's level-headed, he's not afraid of who he is, and he likes lil' ol' me!!! and don't forget BEAUTIFUL!!

ahem.

so that's been going pretty good!! who would of thought that i'd have to go all the way across the country to find happiness!!

everyone here has gotten progressively closer as the months have rolled on. and i can honestly say that i've made some (hopefully) life-long friendships! we're all here for the same reasons, and every day i wake up i always find myself thinking that i'm at summer camp or something! but then i pinch myself and realize that, i'm just home!! this is my home, for now! and it hit me a little while ago just how happy i am here!! it's nice to be faced every day with new experiences, and new faces! let's face it, halifax (not the people in it...or not most of them anyway) had gotten old to me. and some may make fun of me for being all the way in bum fuck nowhere, but to them i turn a blind eye now, and simply shrug it off! i'm happy!

i still miss my beloved's, and to you i say don't worry, december will be here before you know it! i'm looking forward to coming home, and i'm not at the same time. thanksgiving didn't turn out totally the way i had hoped...drama oozes from that city, and i'm so over it. (you know what i'm talking about). being unhappy and worrying too much about things that can't be helped is stupid and unproductive, and i'm done with it. leave those things behind, and keep your eyes on the road ahead.

so i bid you a temporary farewell, and a kiss and a hug until i write to you all again...have a fantastic weekend, blow a kiss to the halifax air, and keep on smiling...it looks good on you!

All of us believe
That this is not up to you
The fact of the matter is
That it's up to me

Hey, Hey, Hey
Hey, Hey, Hey
Let's Go

How can we fake this anymore (anymore)
Turn our backs away, and choose to just ignore (choose to just ignore)
(Some say) Some say it's ignorance
It makes me feel some innocence
(Some say) It takes away a part of me
But I won't let go

Tell me why can't you see, it's not the way (not the way)
When we all fall down, it will be too late
Why is there no reason we can't change (no reason)
When we all fall down, who will take the blame
What will it take

Nothing could ever be this real (be this real)
A life unsatisfied that I could never feel (I could never feel)
(Some say) This future's not so bright
Some can't make the sacrifice
(Some say) It's much more than just black and white
And I won't follow

Tell me why can't you see, it's not the way (not the way)
When we all fall down, it will be too late
Why is there no reason we can't change (no reason)
When we all fall down, who will take the blame
What will it take

Times like these I've come to see how,
Everything but time is running out

Hey, Hey, Hey
Hey, Hey, Hey
What

All of us believe in what we need
What we have's what we don't see

Tell me why can't you see, it's not the way (not the way)
When we all fall down, it will be too late
Why is there no reason we can't change (no reason)
When we all fall down, who will take the blame
What will it take

Tell me why can't you see, it's not the way (not the way)
(so how long, has this gone on, i don't see this ending)
When we all fall down, it will be too late
(it's too late, we can't change, what has now begun)
Why is there no reason we can't change (no reason)
(we act like, its not right, why are we pretending)
When we all fall down, who will take the blame
(we've been wrong, for so long)
What will it take
(WE'VE KNOWN THIS ALL ALONG)

what exactly does christina do??

Self-proclaimed definition of an occupational therapist
by chrissy darrigan

Occupational therapy,
What is that you say?
Is it related to finding others work?
And is physio the same?

The truth is it is neither,
But you can find us everywhere.
In hospitals, schools, or community centres.
There’s no limit to where we care.

We work with people with physical disabilities,
And mental health issues too.
We work with those who have been injured
Neglected, or abused.

With babies, and young children,
Middle aged and older folks,
No matter where one is in the life span
We may be able to provide some help

An occupation is not just a job
But refers to all meaningful things you do
It could be dining, studying or leisure,
It’s really up to you

There activities that you complete
Out of desire, need or expectation
That you would surely miss,
If unable to do them for one or more reasons

So when one needs to re-learn an activity
Or have one changed to meet present needs
Acquire some new skills
Or home adaptations that will please

Occupational therapists are present
Focused on the goals you would like to achieve
We’ll listen to your stories
Our targeted outcomes are your dreams


isn't our little poo a talented little one???

25 years crazy,
not a moment too late,
here and there and back again,
now deciding my own fate.

new place, new friends, new everything,
old behind, looking ahead,
no regrets, no inhibitions,
loving more instead.

cutting you off,
knowing it's for my own good,
people who hold you back,
never totally understood.

sometimes wondering what if,
dreaming of a different time,
when things seemed clearer,
addicted like a thief to a life of crime.

do we ever move on,
or stay connected in our minds,
to you, to him, to everyone,
to an idea less sublime.

such excitement is sure to lie,
in classrooms and with the young,
try my best to keep the chin up,
and try my best not to get stung.

love happens when it shouldn't,
a surprise sometimes that smiles,
rather feel it than rather not,
will always be in style.

wait for it, you know you want to,
never wanting to wait to play,
don't wanna lose this feeling,
turn it up and make it stay.

too many cups of fun, a pinch of drama= one helluva weekend!!

that was sexual

THAT 4 LETTER WORD

no it's not a dirty one, it's "home" you pervs!! just kidding...i probably shouldn't even be writing about this tonight cause it's gonna get me even more excited than i already am. but i just wanted to express just how pumped i am to be going home tomorrow!!

it's funny how someone can miss 'home' so much, eh? i mean i've totally settled into a groove up here in maine, but a piece of my heart obviously still misses the familiar.

when things are new and undiscovered, they're fun and exciting and thrilling and very much all encompassing, especially when they're centered around scholastic reasons. but when you think back to the place you left, you can't help but yearn...you can't help but reminesce, and you can't help but miss...

will home be this place again? will you return to the familiar to start all over again, or will this move be the first of many? will you repeat the actions of the last few months all over again in another year, or will we let the yearning we feel for the past take over and force us back looking for it again? and what happens if when you go back 'home' everything THERE is different? all the old friends gone away, and the 'good old days' a distant memory?

for me that's not really an issue right now, cause i haven't been gone nearly long enough for much to have changed, but what about in a year from now? i can't expect to return and expect things to have remained the same...so where do you go from there? well the only answer to that, is that only time will tell...

there's that concept again, eh? what do you think?

SEDUCTIVE, YOU

have you ever noticed in songs when the singer is singing TO someone, it's always "YOU"...never a name, always "you..." who's you??? why not name them? that's why i've always found it sometimes hard to actually feel for the artist lost in a lamenting love song, when i know for a fact that they're happily married or something...

do you know what i mean? most songs out there on the market these days are love songs, and most are sad ones singing about how they just got their hearts crushed...and all that bullshit, when in real life they're married with three kids!! how are we to relate to that, and how are we to think they actually know how we're feeling (assuming we're currently going through something similar to the song's content) when we know it's all for show??

getting back to the "you" factor; i think it's more seductive for the object of the singer's affection to remain nameless...faceless...it's almost as if they're talking to us...just like poetry; being vague seems to have the better results. i wonder why that is?

try it next time your favorite love song comes on the radio...who's "you"? who are they singing to? a past lover? a current behind-the-scenes mistress? it certainly adds an aspect of mystery to it, doesn't it?

NOTHING IN THIS WORLD

have any of you seen paris' new video? the song is called "nothing in this world" and the video involves her in an homage to "the girl next door" (elisha cuthbert even has a guest role) as the voluptuous object of a young boys affection. seriously, he's like 14...in the beginning she's seductively singing into his ear as he nurses his 'loser' heart after being picked on at school. the first time you see it i'm sure you're gonna be sporting a "WTF face", but just go with it...once you get past the creepy undertones of her and a minor, the video is pretty fuckin' cool.

it's sepposed to be kind of a coming attraction/preview to a fictional movie about a young loser in high school who every night fantasizes about paris hilton (how tongue in cheek, i know). then she ends up moving in next door and aids him in pulling a prank on the bullies at his school...

i'm not doing it justice, if there is even justice to be had in a paris hilton video, but when you see it...just allow her to work her sweet sweet magic on ya!! the songs not out yet, but you can catch the video on thesuperficial.com for a sneak peak!

good ol' paris, up to her old tricks again!! while on the topic of mizz hilton, did you hear she got arrested and officially charged for DUI?? i'm surprised it hasn't happened before now!! she's always seen stumbling into her bmw outside of clubs, and you can bet she didn't just have 1 drink like she claims!!

wouldn't you just die to see her mug shot??

NO E

one thing that struck me last night while i was partying at the local bowling alley in canada (yes, you read right...the bowling alley...well at the least it was the lounge section of the bowling alley) with my entire class, seriously it was like a UMFK sponsored drinking night...my whole freakin' class was there people!! anyways, what struck me was the complete and utter absence of drugs!! and trust me, i would know if there were some present, i can smell the shit from a mile away!!

and i'm not saying that i would want to do any, but that it was refreshing to party in a place, and with a group of people who didn't have those cute little pills or any sort of white powdery substance on their minds!

is it a small town thing? do drugs not live in the boonies of northern maine? or has this state simply evolved beyond the need for uppers as a party favor? now while i'm leaning more towards the former, you have to admit that both ideas have merit, right?

drugs, like many other things i've written about this weekend, have overstayed their welcome, and need to be extradited from our weekend activities. i know i may sound a tad bit preechy these days, but this is just what's on my mind! when is enough enough? how much longer was i going to drive myself into the ground? how many more crack out days did i have in me?

i'm happy to report to you all that that ship has sailed...and thankfully, i'm no longer on it...in my head and in my heart. far be it of me to judge, but it's just a warning to all my lil' e children out there reading this; those colorful little pills have played a supporting role in the movie of my life for too long, and along with the things i left in halifax, they were happily among the list.

how does it feel?

YOU & I WERE MEANT TO FLY

you have no idea just how excited i am to see these two luscious ladies spin the shit outta halifax on friday night...i can't even believe that i'll be in halifax again on friday, and i can't believe even more that i'll get to see my friends on friday night!!! you all know just how much i've missed you, and just how pumped i am to see your faces again. i knew in my heart that i was going to miss you like crazy, but i've tried to keep in mind that it's only time that keeps us apart, and i think we all knew that in reality i'm only a phone call away. leaving was hard, and i'm somewhat apprehensive about coming home, only to leave again 3 days later...but i'll take my loved ones whenever i can get them...

anyways, i didn't want this one to be a sappy entry...what i wanted to focus in on was dj fuckin' colette and the ever so lovely dj heather (who i have never seen) who are playing reflections on the 6th.

ahhh, the lovely lady dj's...what is it about a female dj that's so incredibly hot? what is it about a dj in general that's so hot? ever since i got into electronica there has always been a lingering dj fascination...i mean even when they're not that cute, they're still cute! what's up with that?

but anybody who's ever had a crush on a vinyl pusher knows i'm right...something about seeing a hot and sweaty dj up on stage behind a set of decks, whipping the crowd into a maniacal, somewhat sexual dancing frenzy!! it's always gotten me hot! and add a female to the mix, and it only gets hotter!!! colette is obviously the object of many male fantasies, and i have to admit i'm pretty fuckin' stoked to witness her magic again. with her eclectic mix of deep groovy house music, set to spellbinding vocals, and you've got yourself one helluva good night to be had...

see you all there!

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NEVER AGAIN

it never works out, it's (mostly) a waste of time (in the long run anyway), and we're getting too old to still feel satisfied by a quick fix...and let's not forget the 'money-grab' factor.

why are online dating sights so attractive? seriously, i bet not one of you can tell me that you haven't tried it, or atleast don't know someone who's tried it...and what? has it worked out for you/them? or did they just end up having *somewhat ok* sex with someone, to never see them again? i mean, trust me i'm 'dating's' number one fan, i love dating, i love the thrill that goes along with meeting someone new, and the butterfly feeling, and i can't wait to feel it again!

but not that way.

that's a chapter that i think the world has to close in their lives, turn our backs on it and move on. the only significant relationships that i've had have been with people who i've met when i least expected it. mind you most of those haven't worked out either, but at least they've meant a little something more...more than those dirty one-night stands, where the person becomes nothing more than another knock in your bedpost.

promiscuity is over people, it's time to start respecting ourselves more, and to stop settling for those quick and dirty fixes. i know i've praised services like lavalife and cruiseline before, and sure they were fun and entertaining at the time, but at the ripe ol' age of 25 i'm here to tell you people; we deserve more. there's better out there. and we're not gonna find "love happiness" from a dial-a-date service.

stop worrying that you won't find him, cause you will...never give up the dream of love...cause it will happen...

i used to feel like i gave a little piece of myself away with every nameless face i let into my bedroom, but i'm happy to say that i'm over that way of feeling. do something for me, will you? the next time you look in the mirror and see that shining face of your staring back at you, say to it..."i'm worth it..."

and don't forget to keep smiling!

I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF...

coffee, red bull, popcorn, muscles, tattoos, my puppies, celebrity gossip, noodles, vodka, martinis, hypnotiq, my friends, my uggs, ebay, huge oversized sunglasses, the internet, labels, internet shopping, my iPod, my laptop, kelis, paris hilton's new video in which she flirts with a 14 year old boy, my reaffirmed electronica addiction, my new triple 5 soul bag, thinking deep thoughts, missing my loves, the newly discovered hot gay boy at school, the word 'fuck', chris evans, sean cody, bj's, the pick and save, my new label whore, summer turning into fall, blogs, runway models, pinkisthenewblog.com, harley's new dog collar, my future teaching career, fergie's new album, gwen's 2006 fall l.a.m.b clothing line, the panic channel, 'sex and the city', le petit prince, american food brands, soy meats, buzzed hair cuts, getting over you, my winter duvet, hoodies, msn, being over online dating, being true to myself, the lounge is the new bj's...

TO DO OR NOT TO DO

have you ever noticed how when you're in a relationship for a while, how you start to accept certain behaviours and adopt certain ways of living that you would have otherwise thought abnormal?

like as you start to get close to someone, that you start to let certain things go...or bad habits that you start to simply accept, or actions start to seem acceptable in the other person when you would otherwise (if not involved with them) deem as odd or even disgusting?

the last guy i was with peed in front of me (door wide open, just whipped it out in front of me) on our second date...i mean, come on!! that's just totally unnecessary!! i've never had someone pee in front of me, EVER! let alone on a second date. that doesn't belong on a second date! second dates are for romantic walks, and flowers...not public urination!!!

but after a while it started to seem normal!! i totally accepted it, and after a while it was like second nature! what the hell happened?? are we that able to simply change ingrained opinions that we previously held for another person when in a relationship??? then what happens when you break up? do you normally return to your previous way of thinking? or do these people change you somehow for good?

how much is acceptable in a relationship, when it involves something that was foreign to you before? i mean, i guess we have to take the good with the bad when someone else with new thoughts, behaviours, and traits is involved...but where do we draw the line?

when does compromising become compromise?

so you should probably read the post beneath this one for clarification, and to set the tone for today's "diamond themed" entry.

but this is just a silly little side note, so feel free to ignore my above-mentioned statement.

let me ask you this: i know in those weird heterosexual relationships come marriage/proposal time it's the missus who gets to sport the shiny bling on her infamous finger...but what about in gay relationships?

now gay marriage is a tad bit on the controversial side still (unfortunately, but with people like brad pitt and angelina aka brangelina taking stands by saying that they won't be getting married in this country until everyone else who wants to get married CAN, we can't be far off...right? seeing as how brangelina rule the world and all...anywho...) but humor me for a sec.

have the gays thought about this yet? who gets the diamond? is it the more feminine of the couple who gets lucky? what about in lesbian relationships? do the same rules apply? hasn't someone wrote a book on the norm in ring-baring rules for the gays??

what are we to do?

well i'll tell you something; i'm usually deemed 'the woman' in any relationship i've partaken, so come hell or high water i'm getting a diamond!!! no longer will it be simply the 'females' of the world who can happily sport the debt-inforcing tribute to your relationship on their left hand...it's time the gays took back their rightful right in the jewelry department, and started wearing the blinding rocks as a symbol of their probably-doomed relationships (ahem)...

so there.

IF YOU WANT DIAMONDS, DON'T SETTLE FOR GOLD

ahh, settling...how many of us are doing it? are you? are you settling for an easier alternative to something you really want? something you dream of, but seems a bit out of your reach? tell me, where did we go wrong that we as a human race 'settle' for something less than what we deserve?

all around me i see it; people settling for a 'convenient' relationship, when they deserve better...buying payless when you deserve prada...imitation when you've earned designer...

why is this? come on, you have to admit it...look at your life and tell me that there's something you've always wanted but didn't have the energy to go after. well i'm here to tell you people, it's got to stop!! IF IT'S DIAMONDS YOU WANT, DON'T SETTLE FOR GOLD!!

i'm going to share a little something with you dear readers, something that i'm not entirely proud of, but that has somehow weaseled itself into my life; i'm an only child, and i'm an only child who's gotten used to getting what he wants. it doesn't matter who i have to walk over to get it, but i will sometimes do whatever it takes to make sure something goes my way...am i proud of this? not necessarilly, but i'm normally very very very happy at the outcomes!! where am i going with this? i'm just saying that next time a situation arises and you find yourself backing down and 'settling' for the shittier alternative...stop yourself, and go for diamonds!

that trip you've always wanted to take; that boy you've always wanted to ask out; that expensive pair of jeans you don't think you can afford...don't settle for something that isn't what you want! take a look at your life; if you're not where you want to be, or with who you want to be with, or in the city where you desire to live, take a step back and make it happen...you deserve it!

HEAD OR HEART

i just watched angel break up with buffy cause he's trying to think more with his head than his heart...they have the most wonderful/tragic relationsip ever and watching re runs of this show just starts to hit a little too close to home.

who hasn't heard those words spoken to them? who hasn't had someone tell them that they love them, but that "in the long run, it's better this way..."

Why?? why is it better this way? isn't love enough? when is it not enough? and who decides? why is it that some people think it better to end things sooner even when they're heart is telling them not to?

what happens to these people afterwards? are they content with their decisions to cut it off, or do they feel regret? or do they simply deal and move on.

i always think back to those relationships i've had that have ended like this and wonder where i'd/we would be if maybe we had of given it another shot...would i be here now? or would we still be together and unhappy? what would have happened to buffy and angel if angel had of stayed in sunnydale and not gone to l.a.? would it have lasted?

i think life forces us to move on...but i don't think our hearts would ever let us forget...thinking and hanging onto these past relationships will do nothing but hold us back from what we're sepposed to do. everyone says that things happen for a reason...so i guess they do! but it's sometimes hard to not wonder "what if..."

i'll always think with my heart, instead of my head...cause in my "long run", it's more worth it...

AUTUMN OF...

new tall UGGS in black, colder weather, puppy outfits, louis v carrier, U.S.A, Maine (specifically) crossing country to go drinking, B.J's (i heart you), lying to customs officers, sneaking booze over bridges for canadians, school school school, becoming a teacher, playing the recorder, new friends, new experiences, manhunt, no-mans land, new apartments, rugged stud, hello my name is promiscuous, no-more-bipolar-shoe-salesmen-who-don't-know-what-they-want, not being happy for your exes, moving on with your life, furthering yourself, the "pick and save", cheap booze, naughty hypnotiq's, leaving things behind, kelis' new album, tofurki, lubricant-filled-care packages, BRAD (how i missed you), dropping-a-handful-of-condoms-on-the-floor-of-the-mall-and-having-to-scoop-them-all-up-in-front-of-children, halloween cowboy's BIG 2-4, dj collette, memories of "fuck you bitches, i'm leaving", wireless, A +'s, lusting after angel, lusting after buffy, lusting after angel and buffy together, urban outfitters, on-line shopping, visa-cheq cards, god bless america, marlborough menthol ultra lights, liquor at the irving, road trips, salem for halloween, fall colors, calling cards, all american guys, elementary education, teaching grade one'ers, msn slut, label whore (i love you kristy), the new killers album, missing the stones (again), missing my friends, special times, k-y warming lotion, sean cody's bitch, almost getting run over by ATV'S, end of obsessions, start of new ones, loving you for you, happy c.a.t. scan results, no more lavalife, contradictions, fingering your instrument, lucky ones, fungus-filled-bath-mats-under-microscopes, harley davidson dog collars, paris's cd, xtina screensavers, umfk, getting more, loving it, having fun, being one...