cola

******i started writing this like a week ago, and there was nothing that prompted this discussion, so no worries...just so you know*****

i've never blamed drugs for anything in my life, EXCEPT for my paranoia...and it's just something that i've noticed recently, like over the past 2 years or so. before then i'm sure i was still plagued by it, but i guess until i stopped doing them it didn't dawn on me just how (quote-un-quote) crazy i was becoming!

now i'm only being silly when i refer to myself as crazy, although i'm sure my friends might say otherwise!! but i really am plagued by paranoia. some people have panic attacks, others are plagued by anxiety, i experience bouts of paranoia.

it's the one thing that i can honestly attribute to my 5 year stint. and it's not a scape goat, really!! i believe we all walked away from those days with a little chip on our shoulder, and a future therapy bill in the making!!

but seriously, here's an example. like when i make my lunch at night for work the next day, there's something in the back of my head that makes me think that if i cut my sandwich a different way, it'll somehow affect my life...and these things usually happen in a negative sense. of if i don't get out of bed from a certain side, then i'm guaranteed to have a bad day...or if i don't say goodnight and 'i love you' to each of my dogs before i go to sleep at night, then something bad could happen to them...fuck, i am a little bit crazy!! no, but really! these things aren't completely deep rooted in my psyche, and most of time if i tell myself that i'm being insane and that if my horoscope tells me that something colossal is going to happen a week from next thursday, it's not exactly set in stone and there's really no need to worry!

my mother suffers from o.c.d (obsessive compulsive disorder), you know what i mean? like checking the stove 5 times before she leaves the house, kinda thing! and growing up i would always tell her that she's being retarded, and that obviously it's off...but no one can convince you that what you believe to be true...actually isn't!! it's something she's had to deal with herself, and no matter how many times i tried to drill it in her head that she never even turned on the stove this morning...in her mind, it might still be on! i always told myself growing up, that i wouldn't end up like that, and wouldn't let that little voice in the back of my head get the best of me, but after a while all my mother's idiosyncracies crept in a little.

do you remember meryl streep's character in lemony snickett's "a series of unfortunate events"? well that's my mother, no just joking!! i guess all those years of drugs certainly did her in, too!! like mother, like son, right? no i'm just kidding!!

things like this are really mind over matter. when you overcome them in your mind, they don't seem to have much effect anymore. mind you, that's easier said than done in most cases. mental battles are the hardest to defeat, but in my life i've come to realize that admitting it is the hardest part. when i put my mind to something, overcoming it really isn't so difficult. because i'm not completely crazy, most of the time i can convince myself that i'm just being silly.

well i feel better!

oh my god, on a completely different note one more thing before i wrap this up; i saw miss terri grant (from roger's video) at reflections the other weekend, and she was like "i'm so high" and i was like "off weed?" and she was like "no love, on chach"...

i was so disgusted, i didn't know what to say!! poor little miss terri grant! whatever happened to my video store buddy...where did she go wrong? do people even do cola anymore???

i guess she didn't read the "star" article telling the world that vodka and pain killers were back in vogue!! jeez terri, get a clue!!

cellular bubbles

sometimes i surprise myself! really, even after all these years! is that even possible? you think that i might finally know myself by the (almost) age of 24! but, every now and then it still dawns on me how un-informed i actually am!

i know i've said it before and i'll say it again! sometimes i look around the room and realize just how clueless i am!! am i complaining? not really. am i proud of it? always! but in certain cases, like last night as we're all spread out around the '90's trivial pursuit game board, i'm looking at the questions on the cards...and i'm like...what????!!!! mind you some of the questions only apply to someone who devours every word of the newspaper on a daily basis, (as opposed to flipping right to the entertainment section, like i do!) but i must admit that i can't help but feel a little 'dumb' sometimes.

and i know i'm not, why just ask me ANYTHING about 'sex and the city' and i'll kick your ass in trivia questions! or ask me anything about any movie, and i can probably recap the entire thing, including it's cast and any awards it may have won. or with music, for instance...i consider my knowledge to be vast, and well, pop culture!! need i say more!! well, i feel better!!

but, when it comes to politics, or world news, or sports, or even technology...i just barely scrap by! but why bother?? it's all exhausting to keep this information in your head!! and when is it useful? (besides last night). most of the time it's just useless facts, that swim around in your head, waiting to be abolished by your next martini you'll inevitably have! mind you, on the flip side you could say the exact same thing about me and my silly little knowledge! who really needs to know about the recent travesty that paris has gone through??? (sepposedly someone hacked into her blackberry and stole all the information and phone numbers and broadcasted it over the internet!!! i guess victoria gotti had 100 phone calls in the period of an hour due to the information leakage...poor paris, and all her friends...)

so next time you need to know something about a pop stars recent affair with their sisters bestfriends boyfriends cousin which was captured on film and then sold on ebay...gimme a shout!! just call me "the smut king".

but anyways, i'll always continue to live in my naive little bubble, and i just hope that my cuteness factor doesn't run out...yeah, i've totally gotta go blonde again!!

the second part of my rant today, is in regard to another part of the technological revolution (to which i know nothing about, but still have an opinion on) which is the amount of "cell phone throw-up" that plagues our sweet little city on a day to day basis!!

now i'm not being hypocritical! i have a cell phone, a hot one actually, and couldn't do without it!! after you have it for a while, it's like a limb that you'd be lost without! whether it rings non-stop, or whether you use it for emergencies only...the scary thought that it might/could someday be lost/broken...is TERRIFYING!! whatever would we do??? how would we cope??? how would we make our calls??? we'd manage people, and you know we would!!

it's funny how used to having a luxury we get, you know what i mean? you may not think you'd use one until you have it, and then once you do, you can't imagine life without it!!

why do we become so dependant on technology?? i swear every time the power goes out in my apartment, i freak out!!!! i can't handle it!! we as a race are sooo dependant on technology it's retarded!! and that ain't ever gonna change!! we will continue to live with our technological advances as necessities in our lives, and we'll continue to FrEaK out when they fail us!

but it just gets me thinking, what will be the next thing we can't live without??? you know what i mean? cell phones have overtaken society, so what's next?? will we all have laptops the size of pencil cases that we'll carry around with us like day planners??? who knows what might be introduced these days??

and some cell phones are soooo annoying. i swear, if i had a nickel for every person who stood at my counter every day and had their phone ring "50 cents in da club" while they were being served, i'd be rich!!! and they've gotten sooo much smaller. the last one i had, was smaller than the palm of my hand!! do you remember the old honker ones form like 5 years ago?? see 5 years doesn't even seem like that long ago! but i remember those, i even bought eilish one for her birthday! man, it was humongous! it was even a flip phone and everything!

i wonder what happened to them? i guess in the phone world, size DOES matter...

simple pleasures

well since blake and i saw "amelie" a little while ago, it got me thinking; the main character, amelie, enjoyed the simple things in life...such as sticking her hand in a bucket of grains and enjoying the feeling of having it in there! (oh my god, if you haven't done this, i command you to do so right away!! but those of you who know how good this feels, are all probably nodding your heads in approval!!)

so why not make my own list of simple pleasures??? there's many things i enjoy, some 'g' rated, and others not...but i'll try to keep it as tame as possible, but knowing me that doesn't mean much!! and these are in no particular order, i'm just writing them down as they spring to mind:

1. simple pleasure numero uno, that first taste of hot coffee from tim horton's at precisely 8:05 am. nothing better!!

2. that feeling of release when you really really really have to pee, and you've been holding it forever!! some people say it's the same feeling you get when you orgasm, and they just might be right!!

3. the feeling of excitement when you wake up and realize it's friday morning, and you have just 8 hours left till the sweet weekend!!

4. the sound of those 3 small words (i heart you)coming out of the mouth of your honey...there's nothing better in the world!!

5. the feeling of getting into a bed with freshly washed, still warm sheets!!

6. being tickled till you think you might piss your pants from laughter!

7. coming inside from a rainy day and getting into the shower to warm up, and then climbing into comfy pijamas afterwards.

8. getting a hug from that special someone.

9. the rush you get from a good ol' fashioned shopping spree!

10. feeling the warmth of sunshine streaming in through the window early in the morning.

11. swinging (on a swing) and feeling the wind against your face.

12. diving into a pool; or making a big splash by doing a crazy ass jump!

13. reading your horoscope every day.

14. wishing someone a pleasant day.

15. laughing out loud so that everyone can hear you!

16. rocking out to your own private dance party, whether to actual music, or just to the music in your head!

17. hearing your favourite song (that you haven't heard in forever) on the radio!

18. looking up at the stars, betcha haven't done that in a while??

19. wondering who's on the other line when the phone rings...

20. waking up from a lovely dream.

21. cracking ice on the ground; you know, when it's noticably thin, and just asking to be cracked and stept on!! it's a lovely sound, and feeling!

22. sex, plain and simple...

there's just a few of the lovely things i enjoy about life's simple pleasures, your homework for today, is to indulge in at least 3 of those things.

enjoy.

doritos

i think it was on the back of "the doom generation" that the sleeve read that all the characters wanted to do was drive off into the sunset while eating doritos!! and well that sounds good to me!

doritos are my all-time favourite chip! those of you who know me, know that i have a weakness for chips in general! i usually have a bag of chips a day! no joke! obviously i'm not really watching my calorie intake or anything, since chips can be some of the junkiest things you can put in your body!! and well doritos definitely take the cake in that retrospect!!

sweet, sweet, sweet doritos!! i wonder what it is about them that makes me love them so??!! could it be their exquisite flavor? or their tortilla shape and crunch? or is it the fact that they're not afraid to go places that regular chip's won't go?

they're filling, but not too filling. as opposed to their silly little counter parts "lay's"...whose slogan dares you to eat just one! they don't hide behind such sayings, rather they put their product in your face, and tease you with it! who else would come up with a flavor such as "cool ranch", and "dill-icious", and we can't forget the original "nacho". they were the first company to launch the 'nacho cheese' craze.

just a short snapper today kids, while your waiting for my next entry, i command you to go out and buy a bag...trust me, you'll remember how much you love them!!

survivor

well i decided to tune in last night to "survivor" for the umpteenth season of this hit reality show, this time taking the world to the beautiful yet deadly island of palau, where our 20 survivors will vie for the ultimate title to see who will be the one to outwit, outplay and outlast their opponents!

how was that for a selling point??

survivor started about what, 5 years ago? and has since swept the nation as the most popular of the reality shows! since it's beginning, it's had viewers tuning in every week religiously, to see the contestants starve, fight and perform death-defying feats all in the hope of winning a million dollars.

i never watched the first season, but as with all/most of the reality trash shows to hit the airwaves, with the beginning of season 2 i was hooked! (i guess you can say i'm a little slow on the uptake!!)

but alas, last year 'survivor' disappointed me, with it's (lame) attempt to win ratings by bringing back all the survivors it had kicked off previously in the season!! to me, that defied the point of the game; you can't bring back the losers!!! how is that fair to the people who've been busting their ass trying to stay in the game!! i guess it was a new development, but in my opinion a poor one...

so last night, as i said the new season debutted (is that a word?) and i must say i'm hopeful in it's staying power!! there was an interesting new development from the get-go; they kicked a total of 3 people off the island last night...which i thought was totall cool, AND they allowed the survivors themselves to pick the teams!! so originality aside, at least half of the 20 new survivors are blissfully HOT!!!! so on esthetics alone, i say the show will definitely keep me tuning in weekly!! (i know that sounds shallow, but if you can't be shallow towards tv then when can you be?) that is unless they kick off all the beauties early on, like last season!!

so what is it that a reality show has to have to stick around for a while and avoid being cancelled?? it seems that reality tv has been around for so long, and we've seen so many come and go that i can't even remember which one was the first one to appear!! what was it that sparked the sudden interest in reality tv??? and what happened to all the sitcoms?? it seems that since "friends" finished that the 'must-see-tv' has kinda died off!! i mean, there's still the few good shows, like 'will and grace', and 'desperate housewives' (although i don't watch the latter), but everytime you open tv guide all you're bombarded with is a new reality tv spinoff...and most of the time they're complete shite!!!

you know the types; it's a tropical island filled with who you think are celebrities, but actually they're just look-alikes, except for a few, and you have to compete with them in a series of tests to find out which ones are the real ones, to hopefully go on a date with your favourite in the end!!!

trash, that's all it is!!! personally, i think society became obsessed with reality television just about the time where our voyeuristic urges were at an all-time high!! because when you think about, that's what we're doing when we watch these shows; some poor sap has decided to put themselves and all their loved ones through the heartships of being on a reality tv show, and the rest of the world is tuning in and watching their predicament unravel in a manner that is totally none of our business!!! we're watching lives get ruined, and dreams come true!! it's somewhat narcissistic, isn't it??? and nosy!!!!

are our lives that boring that we have to bother with the situations of other people?? is there something missing in our day to day lives that would make us want to watch horrible things happen to other people? or do we just find it interesting?
i used (and don't judge) to look out my window at night with binnoculars and peer into the apartment buildings across the way...not in a perverted sort of way, but just to see what i could see...isn't that exactly what reality tv is?? aren't we just tuning in to see what might happen when certain people are put in certain situations?? aren't our addictions to reality tv just based on a fear that we'll miss something important if we don't tune in?

i don't think it's that there's something missing in our lives, or that we're boring people, but that as human beings...we like to watch...it's fun, and mindless, and not hurting anyone, right?

did anyone see "sliver"?

ghosts

do you believe in the supernatural? and not in the silly 'ghosts of our pasts' style ghosts, but actual ghosts; spirits trapped on earth after death, due to unfinished business, haunting dwellings forever in misery with nothing but mere mortals to haunt for pure pleasure!

everybody has a story about ghosts, have you ever noticed? all you have to do is bring up the topic, and it seems everyone has something to say about it. and as proposterous as the idea may seem sometimes; that ghosts exist, i think it's something about our generation that just has a tendency to believe...

maybe it's all those years of watching mulder and scully duke it out with the f.b.i. that made believers out of us, or maybe it's just that we're not as skepticle as our parents were...or maybe we've just seen too many movies, and after a while it crept in a little!

but for whatever reason, after being sufficiently creeped out by a scary movie, there's a little voice of fear that exists in all of us that reminds us "what if..." and it's usually this little voice that forces me to check under the bed and in the closet every night before going to bed...i guess you can say that there exists a little fear in all of us, it's how we deal with it that makes us unique!

now i'm getting off topic; i definitely believe in ghosts. did i ever tell you the story of my new (haunted) apartment??? ok, well check it out; when we first moved in (it was just me and harley at this time), i'd wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of harley barking his little balls off (he still had 'em at that time) at absolutely nothing!! he'd be in the living room staring at the wall (no neighbours at that side) just barking...too scary. sometimes he'd go completely silent and his ears would go back and he'd stiffen (as if he'd seen a ghost...) other times i'd be in the kitchen and i'd suddenly go completely cold. cd cases fell...just fell off the cd player and onto the floor for absolutely no reason.

i guess it turns out that my apartment used to be an old doctor's office (make me cry), and the nook (the part off the kitchen) was his little office. so right off the bat i'm freakin' out and thinking of that scary ass movie about the abandoned mental hospital, where these guys are employed to clean it out and start becoming haunted by the ghosts of the hospital...what was it called? chris meagher would remember, anyways it was ass-creepy!!!!!

AND, when eastlink came to hook up my telephone services, the dude said "hmmm, this is the third time in a YEAR that i've hooked up someone's phone services..." CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? i'm the third person to live in that apartment in a year?!? obviously my suspicious mind started thinking that there's something living in this house that keeps driving it's inhabitants out!! isn't that creepy????? so for the longest time (i've only been there a year) i've been a little skeptical of going into the nook at night by myself!

but after a while things kinda quited down...harley stopped barking at nothing, and cd's stopped falling for no reason. perhaps we just got used to eachother...hmmm...

as kids we used to play with the ouija board. every time we'd get together, we'd break out that board and summon the spirits of yore. i have countless memories of those times, but none stick out as extraordinary in my mind. i remember we used to talk to this one spirit, whose name was "bob" ironically; he was a ghost who lived in eilish's house...he said he was some kind of guardian angel, who lived in her house and who'd been protecting it's dwellers for hundreds of years. supposedly he'd taken quite a liking to eilish.

'ophelia' was a spirit who lived in my parents house; supposedly she was the long lost sister of the spirit who had been reincarnated into the body of my bunny rabbit "hobbes", and who was waiting for him so they could be joined together in heaven...

i swear i'm not crazy...

anyways, boogeymen tales aside, i've always been fascinated with the occult and ghost stories in general. to the skeptics i offer up this food for thought; we all have souls...or at least we hopefully do...so when souls shed their mortal coil, what happens to them? it's not hard to believe that some of them would become trapped on earth...i realize that this may seem a bit too theological for a naive and bubbly 20something's little mind, but it's what i believe.

"the grudge" tells of the japanese legend when someone dies in the grip of a murderous rage, a curse is born (ie a grudge) and anyone who comes in contact with the curse, will be consumed by it's fury.

a poltergeist is a murderously mischevious spirit, who can move inanimate objects with it's will. it's story aswell is linked to having unfinished business on earth, and the ability to move things comes as a result of it's power...or something like that. all i can think about is that little blonde girl in front of the television, touching it and staring blankly into the static..."they're heeeeeeere"...

why are kids so creepy?

paradise

what's your idea of paradise? of a utopia? the perfect world...is there such a thing? and if there is, wouldn't it make sense if everyone's perception of this 'flawless place' were the same?

i guess it all comes down to priorities. but you'd think that in the grand scheme of things everyone would want the same things for the world, right? so by that rationality, wouldn't paradise be the same for everyone? well the short answer is no.

as much as everyone would wish for world peace and equality, if granted 3, the last one or two wishes might be debatable.

my idea of paradise, comes down to a sunny climate, where i could hear the roar of the ocean all day, in a peaceful area that was never drab...where pineapples grew from every tree, and strawberry fields bloomed in everyone's backyard. the waters would always be warm, and the sunsets would be pink. the biggest decision we would have to make all day, would be from where do we watch the sunset? everyone would have a friend, and always have enough to be happy. every person you passed on the street would be humming a sweet little tune that would remind you of your childhood. dogs would be allowed in every store, and would never make a mess where they weren't supposed to. every night people would gather at an old-fashioned drive-in and watch old movies, while holding hands and eating popcorn (which would always be free). we would always be able to sleep in, and appointments would never start before 11 am...alarm clocks would not exist, instead we'd wake up to the sound of the waves against the rocks, and the sun shining in through our window...music would be playing everywhere, and every time you walked out the door, you'd hear that song that you hadn't heard in ages...and it would bring a smile to your face. there'd be smily faces everywhere; on the face of your coffee cup, in the shop windows, and painted on the streets...and in turn you'd have to smile back at them whenever you saw them! there would be no violence, for everyone would be content. and to put it simply, nations of different shapes, colors, sizes, religions, orientations, and personality's would just...get along!

that's just a little bit about my paradise...i'm sure i could go on and on...but in the essence of time.

does anybody else feel really relaxed suddenly?

generationnnnext

ever wonder if our parents' generation had more fun than us? were the parties wilder? were the bars crazier? were the poisons harsher?

it donned on me last night while blake and i were watching "the banger sisters", that i started wondering if our 'ways' seem like much more fun than theirs, or if they're looking on at the way we party and saying; "amateurs!"

i mean think about it; back in the '70's, rock and roll was very much alive and throbbing, the day of disco had dawned...the world was in an uproar!! the theme of "sex, drugs, and rock n' roll" had to come from somewhere, ya know!

after the flower-child-don't worry be happy-make love not war-themes of the '60's, society just kept on going! they were in a daze, that just kept on clouding their minds!!!! priorities almost didn't exist, you worked to party, you dressed to suit your particular aura, and you rarely slept!! when you think of it, our parents generation (generation X) were CrAzY!!!!!

now look at us today!! generation next!! we're a totally different generation of youths, with totally different values...how can sooo much change over the course of a few decades? are we worse? where did we go wrong? can you imagine what our world would be like if we had kept on the same course as the '60's and '70's????? i don't know if we would have made it!!

perhaps it was just the natural course for us to take...perhaps it was just time for people to smarten up...perhaps it was just time...

what we consider taboo has certainly changed. in fact, the idea that things have BECOME taboo, shows us how MUCH things have changed! for back then, not much was prohibited at all! now look at us today! you can't even smoke in public places anymore!!! when did the world get so sanitary??? i remember that it was only like 8 years ago, when you could still smoke in the food court at the mall!! that's crazy!! i'd like to pin point the exact moment when someone woke up, and said; "wow, maybe this IS bad for us!!" of course they've gone and ruined our fun...just kiddin'!

ever think about what's going to happen in like 20 years? what drugs will be in vogue? what trends will be in? i wonder if our grandparents ever imagined things like this? not that things are bad, don't get me wrong, i love his world!!! but in comparaison to the '50's, we've come a long way!! i couldn't imagine living in those days! i'm too content with our generation, to trade it with any other!

i look at the flow of clients that come into my workplace, and i can spot the ones who were wild back in the '60's!! you know the types, they're a little burnt out, swagger a bit, and they've got a little spark in their eye, which is the last little bit of light that still glimmers from their glory days!

every generation is different, that's for sure. we've gotten smarter in regards to some areas, and maybe slacker in others! you have to admit that we as a people have learned from our mistakes for the most part...although we've still got our bad habits...i just hope we make our previous generation of flower happy, plat form wearin', pot-smokin', disco jammin', john travolta wearin' cats proud!

come on everyone, get on the train!! does anybody else hear "abba"?

valentine

well it's february 14th, that day that some people relish, and others dread. just another day, one that's tainted just a little bit red!

it's the middle of february, and every year on this day people become very opinionated! have you ever noticed that? EVERYONE has an opinion about valentine's day!! or they can remember atleast a good one, or a really really shitty one!

little red hearts, and boxes of chocolates and red red red roses spring to mind at the thought of valentine's day! in fact, some strange lady from "the rotarians club" (whatever that is) handed me a little bag of red cinnamon hearts, wishing me a happy valentine's day!! how sweet!

but why all the controversy over february 14th? is it truly a hallmark holiday, created by the candy company's? a fake day designed to make you feel bad about yourself if you aren't in love on this particular day in the middle of february? or is it a day to celebrate love, in all it's forms, and to cherish your relationship with all your might?

yesterday i was brutally rebuffed when blake told me that valentine's day has nothing to do with saint valentine...i don't know about you, but i've always assumed that there WAS an actual meaning behind today, and that it was based on some wonderful mythological event involving a saint who performed a lovely feat for his beloved and in the end saved his country of origin and all the people who live there!!

but alas, valentine's day has no such meaning! and i guess that's ok! blake rides on the idea that it's a hallmark holiday, but he was the first one to wish me a happy valentine's day this morning...and i couldn't think of a better way to start my day! it's definitely a funny holiday, you'll never hear of someone being really really excited for valentine's day! you know, like counting down the days till it arrives, like christmas or halloween or something! rather it's just a day that everyone knows about, with a significance that sticks out in everybody's mind whether you like it or not!

the lady at tim horton's told me today, that she doesn't celebrate valentine's day because she's already found a sweetheart! she says that the whole point of v-day is to help you find one, and once you have, you have 4 days/anniversary's to celebrate; the day you met, the day you got together, the day you got engaged, and the day you got married!! she's a silly little woman, but she makes one hell of a cup of coffee!!

so like i said, everyone seems to have their opinion about this goosy little day...personally i haven't decided if it's all about commercialism or not, all i know is that i'm gonna go home and give my honey lots o' lovin to show him how lucky i am to have him!! cause underneath all the sillyness and chocolates, that's what it's all about!!

happy valentine's!!

kisses

jet

now to most who don't have kids, i mean dogs, this may seem a little on the silly side...but for those of you who've seen me with them know that they're two of the most important things in my life.

i've already spoken about harley and his story, so today i thought i'd tell ya'll a bit about my youngest son, Jet.

it was about 9 months ago that i began considering the idea of adopting again. at first i thought it might be too hard, or unfair, or even a cliche to buy another puppy at this time; harley was still relatively young, and we had just recently moved into a new apartment and we were both still adapting. one dog was MORE than enough, trust me...and for those of you with one pet already and who are thinking of getting another, think long and hard, cause it's not always the picnic it might seem like.

now don't get me wrong, i love him with all my might, but as with anything in life, he drives me a little fuckin' crazy sometimes!! but nevertheless, my headstrong-ness took over my rational thinking (as usual) and i made the conscious decision i wanted another dog. everyone to whom i mentioned the idea was utterly against it. saying "why do you wanna ruin your life", and "you'll never leave the house again"...blah, blah, blah...bite me. i remember renee just shaking her head at me, not even knowing what to say. well, whatever.

so anywho-zlebees, the look in harley's face when i left the house every morning for 8 hours at a time, had started to break my heart. he needed a playmate, plain and simple. another puppy so he didn't feel so alone during the day, something he could wrestle with, and just another living thing to share the space with!

once you make a decision like that one, the rest is just icing on the cake. what kind of dog was i going to get? originally i wanted another chihuahua; keep it simple, i already knew about their temperament, how to treat them, how to take care of them, yada yada yada. so i found a breeder, she was in quebec and she specialized in teacup chihuahuas (a la tinkerbell). his name was "stripe" (which would obviously have to be changed when i got him). the breeder said he'd probably only grow to be 3-4 lbs. he was black with a white stripe around his neck (too cute for words), but low and behold, the deal fell through because i couldn't get a damage deposit in time...grrr...

yes, a maltese was my second choice. britney had recently adopted one, that she named "lacy" and the pictures in "people" magazine i saw were too cute...so i began my quest for a maltese. it didn't take long, that's for sure!! i was flipping through the paper one day at work in the pets 4 sale section, and came across a maltese breeder in new brunswick who sold pure breds. well my heart was a flutterin' and i called right away! she said she had just had a new litter born 2 months ago, and they would be ready to 'leave the nest' in about a month or so. the timing was perfect. the breeder (a pastor, nonetheless) had a sister who lived in sackville, and said that after meeting the puppy and the parents, if i was interested, they would deliver 'him' to my door and everything!! too good to be true!

her husband had some sort of a reunion that weekend in halifax, and said that he would be more than delighted to bring the pup and his parents down to meet me! and sure enough, that saturday in july the car pulled up and out popped my new baby boy!! he was about a third the size of harley, and pure white with the most beautiful face (besides harley's) i had ever seen! i knew this was my baby the moment i held him! we watched the two dogs interact for a few minutes, mostly harley just sniffed him, and jet just barked in the tiniest voice and went around the apartment...i knew he was going to be the man of the house!!!

without hesitation, i said i'd take him...it was beyond my control! i don't know who i was kidding! i knew that if i held it, i'd HAVE to take him! and that's all it took.

so the next month, a friday afternoon after work, a stork delivered my newborn baby in a basket. really, he came in a basket! cutest thing ever!! and that night my life changed again.

it was hard at first...and still is at times...when choosing another dog to go along with your first, it's always best to choose a breed who'll get along with your first. but little did i know, chihuahua's don't really get along with ANY breeds...not even other chihuahuas!! they're territorial, and greedy, and very very protective of their owners. but after a while, they started to get used to eachother, and as soon as harley figured out that this new little guy wasn't going anywhere, he gave in and started to accept him!

as for the name "jet"...not much thought went into it. i had always enjoyed the name, john travolta named his son "jet" and i thought it sounded cute and definitely original! my only other choice was "romeo"...something about a pure white dog that screamed heartbreaker...but i chose 'jet' instead...he was pure white, with 'jet' black eyes and a black as night lil' nose! so i thought it fit!

so that's the story of how lil' Jetson came into our lives...he's a sweet lil' thing, more work than i expected, but in the end, a delight and a wonderful addition to my little family!

feel free to throw up at any time....just kidding!!

kisses.

dessert

so did you hear that my least favourite blonde pop-bompshell has come out with her own line of fragrances/make-up/beauty treats??? yes, jessica (dumbass) simpson has just released a 'cosmetic' line called "dessert". (*cough cough bullshit cough*)

there's (and forgive me if i heave) deliciously kissable sugar shimmer, mouth watering whipped body cream, pout-perfecting lip plumping candy, decadent body frosting, and other body-beautifying yummies. in 8 lusciously-lickable flavors like lollipop, cupcake, cotton candy and bubble gum.

check out the retard's entire line of products at desserttreats.com, but don't say i didn't warn you!!

so i haven't yet decided why i'm so completely baffled by the fact that the tard now has a 'beaty line' out. i mean when your career is on the fritz, what else is there to do? but i think it's just another chapter in the book that is my annoyance of hollywood (it's not a long one, cause i love ol' hollywood). but what's with all the DUBBLE DIPPING??? i mean, stick with one career motive!!!

it's just not fair. if you're an actor, stay in movies. if you sing, then remain a performer. if you're a twit married to mr. lachey, then stay home and make babies...no, just teasin. but, really! as soon as someone's in the public eye all they wanna do is make us go blind!!! they have to have their faces EVERYWHERE!! on the cover of magazines, albums, commercials, EVERYWHERE!! what's with all the singers out there becoming actresses??? why do they feel the need to make us be repulsed by them by shoving themselves in our faces all the time!!!

i believe it was jennifer lopez who first crossed over from movies to pop superstardom! and since her, the only other success story is my dear gwen. yes, mrs. gavin rossdale has been the only other successful candidate to actually SUCCEED in most areas that she's applied herself in; she's the hot ass front woman for my favourite band "No Doubt", she's now a successful solo artist with the recent release of her kickin' solo debut "l.a.m.b", she has her own clothing and accessories line titled once again "l.a.m.b" (short for Love Angel Music Baby) and she's just recently made her film debut as the fantastic Jean Harlow in "the aviator" starring leonardo decaprio. not to mention being handed the title of "artist of the year" by blender magazine, and being nominated for a grammy for "what you waiting for" off her new album (best single).

now i could go on about gwen for paragraphs and paragraphs, but that would lead me off topic. the issue at hand is how we've let miss (shoot me in the face) simpson get so far ahead in the world. now most of you reading this are probably wondering why i'm not on the simpson train, seeing as how i seem to enjoy all her blonde-poppy counterparts...but let's just say that jessica and i have just never clicked. no reason really, besides the fact that i consider her to be a flamming idiot...and coming from me, that's pretty bad!!

"dessert"...what was she thinking? mind you it sounds yummy...but i feel bad cause it's just going to prod me to make fun of her even more...and if i'm mocking her constantly, then others are...you should see the picture of her in the add?!? she looks retarded! like some playboy bunny licking cum off her fingers after doing the entire highschool football team...that doesn't make me wanna go buy beauty products...that makes me wanna go wash my hands!

grrrr, my point is that celebrities already have it good enough with their first chosen career choice! there's no need to double dip in the job pool! especially when you're already getting paid millions to accomplish your original goal!!

once again the only exception to this "joey rule" would be the lovely gwen, whose excellence will continue to astound us for years to come.

so ladies, and some gents, i appeal to you...don't purchase any of jessica's silly little products...she and her he-whore have enough income to keep their stupidity level at it's present state...and still get away with it...for any encouragement we give them might propel them to try and take over the world or something!!

a blonde ruler of the world...humph, well maybe if it was britney...

marilyn manson

well i'm almost finished reading jenna jameson's novel, and i just reached the part where she's talking about her affair with marilyn manson.

i found it so intriguing that i just had to dedicate today's entry to the man (?) himself. while i have never been a fan (just not my cup of green tea) i have always been somewhat fascinated/frightened by him and his art.

for those of you who aren't familiar with the man behind the mask, marilyn manson is the shock rocker who's responsible for inspiring fear in music savantes all around the world with his disturbing spectacles and eerie alternative music. when i think of him i can't help but think of prosthetic limbs and mismatching eyes, and his remake of "sweet dreams" that still sends a mind-numbing chill down the base of my spine.

when he first surfaced into the music biz, i remember reading that his name is in reference to two of our most famous (for complete different reasons) celebrities in the world; he calls himself marilyn manson because he wanted to be as beautiful as marilyn monroe, but as dangerous and as feared as charles manson. a paradox in identities, if you will.

while his creativitiy on stage and in his lyrics inspires a certain amount of respect from yours truly, i can't get past the rumor that he once threw a puppy into the crowd at his show and demanded they (i can't even write it) before he would begin performing.

despite his zombie-like appearance, he's been linked to some of the most beautiful women in the world; rose mcgowan for example, was romantically linked (and forgive me if i'm wrong-but engaged?) to marilyn, jenna jameson (as mentioned above) had an affair with him at the after-party for howard stern's movie "private parts", and for all you burlseque lovers out there, i believe he is now seeing a burlesque dance whose name escapes me right now!

so that's quite a resume for a rocker such as himself. jenna even described him as "the god of fuck" crazily enough!! saying that he was endowed like a horse and popped more pain killers and muscle relaxants at one time than any 'normal' person could handel!! not to mention on top of the cola he was shovin' up his nose periodically throughout the night!! in her description of their "time" together, she said the first time he went down on her for an hour, and then proceeded to give her a full body massage starting with her big toe!! and needless to say that when a porn star gives you a nickname such as that one...i'd say it's quite the honor!!

so why all the theatrics? for any of you who saw "farenheit 9/11" i guess he gave quite the mind-blowing interview regarding the current state of the world! and from what jenna says, his intelligence was astounding! now being the naive individual that i am, i never would have pegged him for that kind of fellow. and if i feel that way, i'm sure that a lot of other silly lil' folk feel that way too!! so why would he hide behind his shocking appearance instead of play up to his full potential??

seeing photos of him when he first came about i assumed it was all for show. and while i may have been on the same track, he hasn't given me any real reason to think otherwise!! i wonder what he looks like under all his make-up and vampire contacts? yes, he has supreme intelligence, but what you show to the world can only remain an act for so long...and it all has to stem from somewhere!! i guess jenna said that after seeing him for a while, he becase obsessed with her, calling her all the time and talking about seeing her have sex with prosthetic limbs and wanting to suck his drummer's cock, so i think it's a safe assumption to say that he may be leaning a little to the "weird" side...but that in itself doesn't mean much...because "weirdness" is in the eye of the beholder!

so in conclusion, i say that as long as he stays away from puppies and all other animals in general, he should keep doing what he's doing!! he's original, daring, and care-free! he does what he does, and the world seems to have an appreciation for it! although i just can't seem to think of anything else but his album cover where he was wearing the female body-suit...truly horrifying!

i wonder if that's what he was going for?

deneiro

no, not "deniro" kids, but denEiro!! money, cash, dollars, moola, cashola, tender, bucks, fluid...yes boys and girls...MONEY!!!!

a wise one once said that it makes the world go 'round. were they correct? is it at the root of society? why are we so dependant on it? or an even better question is why do we let it rule our lives?

it's something i've never really understood completely. as kids growing up i'm sure we all wondered why 'grown-ups' fretted over it so much, cause if we needed something, all we had to do was ask for it, right? WRONGO!! how naive kids are, eh?

when we reach a certain age we realize that unfortunately there is no silver platter from which things are handed to us, and instead of just asking for what we want (although it couldn't hurt), we had to (egads!) WORK for it!!! and by working we earned an hourly amount, which then turns into a paycheck...and thus how we've been spending the majority of our time, prostituting ourselves for the corporate world, all for those little numbers that appear on our bank statements.

now i'm not trying to put the world down, god knows i love my job...but it does strike me as somewhat sad how dependant we've become on money!

when we want something from someone, what do we do? we offer them money. to thwart someone from committing a crime, what do we do? we threaten them with a fine. for services rendered, what do we do? we charge a fee. in the end, everything comes down to money. well not everything. that's a generalisation.

in school i remember studying capitalist societies, where (and this is just a complete oversight seeing as how i don't really remember the textbook definition) everyone is of equal status in society and no one is above or below anyone else. no one's rich, and no one's poor...simply, equal! now obviously i recognize the problem with this picture...it leaves no room for the ones who actually work harder and earn more benefits! it's not a fair and partial way to look at things, cause there will always be the ones in the world who work harder than others and who DESERVE more recognition. but it is however a much more simplified idea, isn't it? whether it would cause world wide destruction or not, remains in the eye of the beholder, i think!!

in my opinion, some of the best things in life are free! i know that's a cliche, but it's one i've always believed in! you can't buy happiness! that's for sure. you may think you can, but in the grand scheme of things, what you're buying isn't true happiness...just an illusion of what you may think being happy is. happiness is definitely one of the things in (my) life that has nothing to do with money...now don't get me wrong, there's nothing like the high i feel after a good shopping spree, but in the long run, they're just material things, and the good feelings i get in life come from the people around me...not from the things i buy!

but the way we depend on money in our lives isn't probably going to change! whether we keep it at the center of our lives as the most important goal, or whether we try to remain as unaffected by material things as we can...money is something that will always shape the world we live in, whether for the good or the bad. the most we can do as individuals is to stray from the obsession that is associated with it's attainment.

and to quote samantha from season 4, "it's just fluid; if you have it, you give it, if you need it, you take it!" money that is kids, get your minds outta the gutter...for once!!

are you afraid of the dark?

one of the many divisions that i have found that divide our society is one that probably only i have ever thought of...it's not necessarilly profound, but an intriguing one nevertheless.

the division that i speak of is, those who enjoy being frightened, and those who do not!

from scary movies, to terror-filled-page-turners, some people crave the adrenaline that goes along with being scared, while some would be more than happy to remain in their warm and fuzzy state of safety.

personally, i've always been a fan! i love everything about it! i love the clammy hands, i love the racing heart, i love the shaking limbs! scary movies are my favourite kinds, and a good horror novel will keep me reading till the last word!!

isn't that funny? what does that say about my personality? it's not massochistic or anything, cause i don't necessarilly enjoy "gory" movies...just the scary ones! the ones where you find yourself yelling at the characters on screen, telling them "don't go in there!! don't do that!!" your eyes are wide open, but you keep trying to hide behind spread fingers!! you want to look away, but you couldn't if your life depended on it!

so what makes someone enjoy scary things? why are some people more squeemish than others? is there something built into our genetics that makes someone more predispositioned to enjoy having the shit scared outta them!!!!!

my friend michelle johnson and i are scary movie fanatics!!! everyone that comes out, good or bad, we MUST see it! even if they suck, you know they'll at least pack a few good cheap punches! you know what i mean? you don't go to see scary movies to be blown away with fantastic acting, or superb plots (although a good mysterious back-story can't hurt!!) you go to jump 3 feet in the air, and then laugh at yourself for being so scared! you go to feel those little hairs on the back of your neck stand on end during a creepy scene! you go so you feel the need to check under the bed before you go to sleep that night! you go cause it's a RUSH to be scared, and society can't seem to get enough!!!

it's interesting to study the neurological side of the matter. when the brain receives a signal that the body is feeling fear (is that how it goes?) the whole body reacts; the sweaty palms, racing heart beat, darty eyes (etc etc etc) and it becomes stuck on the thought that prompted the fear in the first place. have you ever noticed that if ever lying in bed thinking of the monsters in the closet, it's extremely difficult to shake those feelings? the brain becomes fixated on these things and can't get off!! we don't even have to feel fear to have those symptoms; just seeing an expression of fear on the face of someone else will be cause enough!
for example when you see drew barrymore's expression of terror during the first 10 minutes of "scream", your brain will send your body into "fear over-drive"!!

is it an unconscious desire to be in peril? i doubt it. is it a rescue fantasy? i don't think so. is it an addictive feeling? that's what i'm going with! that's the best way i can describe it; like a rush that you just can't get enough of. the endorphins that are produced in the body when you get scared are like nothing else you'll ever experience. and if you get really really scared, it's almost as if your skin begins to crawl and you can't seem to stop it willingly!

someone once said that scary movies are great foreplay! and it's totally true! you're completely wrapped up in somebody's arms for protection from the horrors on screen, and your adrenaline is racing...it's very sexual, when you think about it, eh? rrrrooooowrrrrr!!

i find society deals with the horror genre in waves. hollywood realizes that if they slam us with too many at once, they'll lose what novelty they have and we wont find them scary anymore! cause let's admit it, most are the same old scare tactics just recycled over and over again. atleast with the slasher genre. but in my opinion, a good ol' ghost story will never get tired!!

so let's all hope that hollywood never gets tired of them too, and that they continue to freak us out for decades to come!! cause let's face it, i'm sure jason and michael still have a few more stabs in 'em!!

kisses in the morning

nothing starts a day off better than that, eh? especially when they're in a brand new bed that is the epitomy of fantastic!!

so i just saw a girl with my old hair style...yes, the mohawk has had a resurgence people! yes, ANOTHER resurgence...and i'm not talking about the "faux hawk", that silly little trend will be around forever i think...well until the UK thinks up something different!

so for those of you who never experienced the "mohawk", picture this; it wasn't so much a mohawk in cut, but a messy strip of blonde down the center of my head!!! my hair dresser just kinda painted it on with his hands, so it was far from even, but i liked it! it lasted for like 3 months before it was all cut out! i originally saw the style on david beckham (yes, mr. posh spice) on a celebrity tattoo website, and immediately knew i had to have it!

my poor place of employment!! the things i put them through!! access didn't even mind...they thought it was a bit crazy, but they went along with it!

but anywho, my point is that isn't it funny how trends seem to come and go so quickly...then resurge after a while?? now i consider myself to be a fairly 'trendy' person (with no negative connotations), while i may not always follow the trends, i atleast try to start my own, or atleast try to remain as original as possible in the way i carry myself. and for those of you who know me, you can probably definitely agree that i'm usually "original".

but what does it take to actually start a trend? how do you really know if you're trendy? where to you draw the line between following trends, and trying too hard??

the whole point of a trend is the shortness of it's life. as soon as it starts, there's this huge explosion around town and you can't seem to notice anything BUT...then in the blink of a polished eye...it's over!!

what happens to them? is there one person out there who just simply decides one day that what once was 'in' is now 'out'?? and why do people listen to 'these' people?
i wonder why society feels the 'need' to follow trends?

what happened to being and dressing like individuals? i applaud the people who don't dress to impress certain people! and what does it actually take to make/create "a trend"? cause if you look around, sometimes what's trendy isn't necessarilly attractive!! take uggs, for example. i, myself LOVE them, and enjoy the trend immensely. but, i seem to be the minority of society because most find them appauling. it's even been suggested that the name "ugg" is short for "ugly". mind you 'ugly' only has one 'g'...but that's besides the point. my point is, that they're obviously not the most beautiful boot on the planet, and people still go ape shit over them!!!! all because paris hilton told us to...

is it hollywood? is it pop culture? (is there a difference?) or are trends just a part of evolution? there will always be trends, good ones and really really really bad ones! they'll come to us out of the blue and stay for a while, until we find a new obsession...some will have staying power and others will fade away faster than miss paris' acting career...poor paris...

so children, branch out...i've told you that once before, and some of you have listened, and some of you have not...so the next time you see those first year dal girls, with the pony-tail high atop their heads (you know the one that's messy cause you know they spent an hour making it that way), with sweat pants tucked messily into those "fuggs" with a fake fur trimmed jacket and their thong hanging out of those sweats...try not to laugh...it's not her fault she's a victim!

barbaric

well last night i was talking with the lovely miss brianne about something that has begun to strike me all the more deeper lately. maybe it's the weather that brings these people out, or maybe it's the fact that i have two animals of my own now...but have you noticed lately how much "fur" you can see strung across someone's back, walking down the street?????

i ask you people, in the year 2005, how can some people still think it appropriate to wear fur??? have we not learned anything in the last 5 decades??? it's completely and utterly barbaric and there's just no reason for it!

when did it become acceptable to wear fur again? who was it that said that it was aesthetically pleasing to the eye? who needs to be THAT warm in the winter that you feel the need to wrap a dead animal around yourself???

now i'm not the most opinionated person in the world, but i do care about things...really! i do! and lately things have been burning up inside of me and the only place for them to go is out my mouth!!!!!!! (in the form of venting!! in case that wasn't clear...)

now as brianne brought up, when you see some of the elder ladies wearing them it's almost not as bad...simply because it's what they've always known! their mothers probably wore them, same as her mother before that. and for some reason they don't sem as guilty of murder as people nowadays. you can't really change the mind of an elderly person; they're somewhat set in their ways, you know what i mean? so when you see this tiny old lady with her aviator sunglasses on and a little bonnet on her head with THIS HUMONGOUS FUR COAT DYED WHITE WITH BLACK SPOTS LIKE CRUELLA FREAKIN' DEVILLE...refrain from throwing a bucket of blood on her!

BUT if anybody below the age of 40 is caught wearing something resembling the described item above (ie J. Lo) ...paint away!! no, i'm just kidding! but really!
some will say that "oh, the animal was already dead when they skinned it" or "it's not like i killed it myself, or anything..." but no matter which way you look at it, it's cruel and completely unnecessary. bottom line.

other people might call me a hypocrite for being an admiral for animal rights and still wearing leather and eating meat...but there's a line that i draw. yes i eat meat, but rarely red meat, no fish, usually only chicken, absolutely no fur (obviously, since it probably woulnd't go with my complexion...just kiddin') and rarely any leather...only on my feet.

it's funny how even today some things still aren't totally taboo. you know what i mean? everyone is affected by the animal rights issue. everyone. whether you have animals yourself, or you know someone who does...how can't you be touched by the thought of what has to happen to fabricate one of those disgusting coats, or hats, or mittens!!

and most people don't think they're participating in the massacre, until they realize their favourite jacket has what they thought was a "fake fur" trim or something!! these little details go unnoticed at first glance...i'll admit, i even overlooked it myself!! pay more attention next time to the coats in stores, and you'll notice that what once looked fake might actually be real...poor bunnies...

so today's lesson is; be kind to all creatures, great and small...respect oneself and the earth around us...and as charlize theron once said: "if you wouldn't wear your dog, don't wear fur".

keefe out

...when you're talking in your sleep

it's funny the things one can do when you're sleeping? have you ever noticed?

some people sleep like logs, some people sleep lightly, some people dream constantly, some people talk in their sleep, and others sleep with their eyes open!!!

sleep is a universal quality and need of everyone and every living thing on the planet...we need it to survive, and crave it when we don't get enough! there's nothing like the feeling you get when you wake up after a fantastic night's sleep! you know the one; you're refreshed, rejuvenated, alert, energized, and ready to hit the world full force!

but on the other hand, there's nothing worse than the feeling when you haven't gotten enough sleep; you're cranky, irritable, edgy, can't open your eyes totally, your body aches, and the only thing you can think about is how good it would feel to have just even 5 more minutes in bed!

someone once said we spend more than 1/3 (?) of our lives sleeping...ISN'T THAT CRAZY???? such a huge chunk of our days is spent unconscious!! does anybody else feel like a fried egg??!!??

can you imagine how much more we could get done if we had a full 24 hours to do it?? someone once proposed the idea of being able to inject sleep!! now that's insane! just think; a needle that everyone had that we injected into our veins that would give us 8 beautiful hours of sleep in just one second! afterwards we'd have that peaceful, blissful sensation of just waking up (naturally) to a beautiful, warm and sunny day streaming through the window! we'd never need to rest our eyes again, and we'd have sooo much more time to completely take advantage of the time we have on this silly little earth! it would change life as we know it!

but what would we do with those extra hours in the day? have we come to far in life and too accustomed to sleep to simply lose the experience? to artificially inject something that would only really give us the sensation of sleep??? it's definitely a flawed idea, but an intriguing one to say the least, don't you agree?

in my opinion we as a people have become addicted! if i hear one more person tell me today how tired they are, i'll go crazy!!!!!!! it's called a good night's sleep and/or caffeine, people!!! look into it!! but seriously, why is it we can't seem to get enough sleep? if we don't sleep long enough then we're either cranky or refreshed, but if we sleep too long then we get even more tired than we were in the first place! that just doesn't make any sense!! is too much sleep a bad thing? how much sleep is too much sleep? how much is not enough? where's the happy-medium? how come people didn't tell us about this kinda thing in the first place???

back to what i was first going to talk about; those weird, quirky little things we do in our sleep! growing up, i was a talker!! my mom used to tell me the next day how i was hollering out about something that night! she used to say that we'd have conversations back and forth about the oddest things that didn't make sense to her at all! i'd just scream something out in the middle of the night and she'd remember it and tell me about it the next morning! nowadays, i wake myself up in the middle of my sentence, and realize that it takes waaaay too much energy to keep talking...so you stop suddenly and sigh!!!

other people have been known to sleep with one eye open. well the scariest thing ever happened the other night when blake and i were sleeping; i woke up in the morning and looked over to see him fast asleep...WITH HIS FREAKIN' EYES OPEN!!!!!! almost peed my hospital pants, i swear to god! can you imagine? the blankest expression on his face, which would have been cute if it weren't for the glazed over look in his open eyes!!!!!!!

other people sleep walk, which i've never understood! i know how exhausting it seems at the time to talk in your sleep, so i can't even comprehend how much it takes to actually pull yourself up out of bed and walk around!!! how creepy is that??? not to mention dangerous!! what if you happened to slip outside and slip down an icy hill and into on-coming traffic?? can you unlock doors while sleepwalking?? eeeeek! too scary!! there's a somewhat terrifying 'zombie-like' quality to sleepwalking...probably cause you resemble the walking dead!!!!

so the moral of the story is...if you talk in your sleep, keep a tape recorder near by to catch the show. if you sleepwalk, keep kryptonite locks on your doors, and if you're anything like blake and sleep with your eyes open like a crazy person...put some sunglasses on or somethin'!!!

just kiddin'!!

glow

so the title of my blog already suggests a part of my personality that some would probably deem to be a less than admirable quality...but i couldn't be more proud of it!! therefore it's time to speak out about it, and to say it loud and say it proud!!

that quality i speak of is my "naivety". (is that a word?) it's true, i'm the first one to admit it! hello, my name is joey keefe and i'm a naive individual! am i ashamed of it? heck no! is it a character flaw? hopefully not. do i choose to be that way? absolutely.

a wise one once said, that ignorence is bliss. while i'm not totally convinced that it's ignorence that has made me this way, that wise one was on the right track!! but is it ignorence if you are voluntarily unaware of your surroundings? or is it just good sense???

i once watched a movie where the main character complained about there being too much information thrown at us from the media. "what do they expect me to do with all this information?" she says. and well, that's my thoughts exactly.

i grew up watching my father (moreso than my mother, she's a little on the naive side like me) watching the news...day in, and day out...every day at lunch time, and every evening at 6, then every night at 11...why?????? that's 3 news updates per day!! who needs to be THAT aware?!? who needs that much information?? and what do they do with it? where do they keep it? and WHY do they keep it?

i think if i knew more about what was going on, i'd begin to feel even more helpless! wouldn't you? i mean, we're just one little person in this crazy world, with only so much to accomplish!! with all this information at our finger tips, and after reading about all these devastations around the world...i'd feel more sad than informed! true, it's always good to remain informed, at the very least so you can hold an opinion, but what's it good for?? will it help you get any further in life? will it enlighten your being any more? will it make you a better person? what purpose does holding this information serve?

now what i have just said is definitely a huge oversight. and a ginormous generalisation! since i do agree with the importance of knowing (atleast) a small amount of the day to day occurances in our small world. but i'm simply commenting on the appeal of living in a bubble!!

i would never put someone down for watching the news and reading the papers every day, it's just something i have never done.

now on the other side of the spectre, i'm absolutely thrilled to surround myself with people who actually DO pay attention to the world around us! i mean, how else would i learn anything?!? right? (just kidding!!) but seriously, i LOVE learning things from blake, and from my other (more informed) friends! and i don't feel stupid when things get brought up in conversation that i know nothing about! it's not due to a lack of intelligence on my part...i just chose not to learn about it! if i'm gonna have to learn about 'sad' things, i'd rather hear about them from a loving mouth...rather than from peter mansbridge!!

yes, i may be naive...and sometimes i even surprise myself how much i can actually 'avoid' learning/hearing about certain things, especially after the media basically throws up all over the topic!! but it's just the way i've always been! i live in a bubble, and prefer it this way!

by living this way i manage to constantly keep a glowing smile on my face, and a spring in my step! i try to remain as unaffected as possible by my surroundings and thusly remain as happy as possible!! while at the same time trying to depict as little ignorence as i can. i don't really believe in having negative energy in our lives! obviously it's a tad bit unavoidable sometimes, and even i generate my share of dingy vibes, but that's life! i've always been an optimist and the news has always left me feeling unfulfilled and frustrated.

now for all you fellow world-news followers, fear not! do not tread over my words, because i wouldn't have you any other way!! for if you and the rest of the world were like me, and didn't pay attention to the world around them, can you imagine the state of society????

scary thought, eh?