Joe Rogan vs Jenna Jameson

something i came across that i got a kick outta; my girl jenna giving joe rogan (from fear factor status) tips on how to eat a woman out...ahem...

A Very Unusual Christmas

just a little something for you all during this holiday season...to keep you warm, that is! ahem...

well lovers, i hope you all had an amazing christmas!! what did ya'll do? well whatever you naughty little elves got up to, i hope you indulged until your heart's content! for what else is there to really do in december, but eat too much, drink loads, visit with the rellies (relatives) and just have a holly jolly time?!?!

well don't be sad for me lovers, but i did all of these typical christmas activities, except for visit with the relatives...yes, it's true, i had the xmas of someone who's been living abroad for the past year, and was unable to return to the land from which he was conceived due to extreme costs...

but alas, all was not a disappointment! i made the decision to take my jet to the beach for a few days where we spoiled ourselves rotten by staying in a posh little hotel, ordering room service, sleeping in a king size bed, drinking champagne, and just enjoying life!!

the only thing missing was...YOU!

which is what made this xmas so unusual...waking up on xmas morning and not having my parents to make me my coffee and baileys, was odd...to say the least.

bad? no...just unusual...but as with every passing christmas, we inevitably grow up more and more, and the traditions we grew accustomed to change and develop, and we in turn make our own new traditions, and abandon others! so what may seem like a sad way to spend xmas to some, suited me just fine!

i'm 27 now, and the true meaning of christmas, well the one that i thought was the true one anyways, has evolved as i've grown up...i no longer feel the need to wake up on the 25th of december with a tree full of presents...

at this point, christmas is about doing what makes you happy! seeing the ones that make you happy! and appreciating the season! so that's why jet and i did what we did, cause if we couldn't be with my parentals this christmas, i would at least spoil us both rotten and have our holly jolly christmas somewhere i love, doing the things that make us happy...

happy christmas lovers!!!

now bring on fuckin' NEW YEARS EVE!!!!!!!!!!!!

EVERYTHING NEW IS BETTER...

well just a little introduction to the newly revamped, much improved, gotta-read-daily, more-important-to-your-routine-than-logging-onto-perezhilton.com, blog of yours truly!!!!

it has been a while, but alas as sometimes occurs in even the most "together" situations, the one you have come to rely upon gets busy...and begins slacking off on his postings...

as i'm sure you've heard it all before, let's hope that this promise to tune you all in more often, does not fall upon deaf ears!

it's funny when you think about it; writing has always been a true joy of mine...i've always found some sort of solace in putting my thoughts out there...whether on paper, or online...why would i allow something that brings me such peace, slip away like i have??? why do we all allow the things that bring us down, take such precidence over the things that make us happy??

i think there comes a time when we all have to stop and take a look at our priorities, and decide how important we want such negative things to really be in our day-to-day lives...and how much attention we decide to pay to them on a daily basis.

i'm 27 years old...my late (pardon me) twenties...no longer will i allow that which makes me happy fall to the wayside...and i urge you all to do the same!

if somethings important enough that it brings you up when you're down, then you not only need to indulge in it...you need to fuckin' BATHE in it!!!!

xx

SUMMER OF...



(a little late, i know but better now than never!!) British boys, London, Brighton, Camden, Notting Hill, SOHO, gay clubs, the return of Electro, checkered prints, "footie", star tattoos, pooches flying overseas to be reunited with their fathers, living off your overdraft, finding out bad things from someone you really like, red red wine, British boys, mixmag, lady gaga, ava leigh, rihanna's "disturbia", alphabeat, "pjanoo", pete tong, carl cox, tiesto, hed kandi, katie price and peter andre, summer beach reads, having rocks on the beach instead of sand, summer "halifax" flatmates, blogs being revisited, blondes, male g-spot stimulators, getting ready to teach Year 2, "gok's fashion fix", High street styles, classic style aviators, beach bum styles, contrasting color pairings, Primark, TOPMAN, British boys, "the noble vine", late-night drinks, heart 2 heart chats with roomies at 6 am, Urban Outfitters, cider, the "sex and the city" movie, "zombie strippers", bright colored ties, "twilight" book series, "angel uncovered" by katie price, trash, dirrty behaviors, making out with boys in converted churches, sight-seeing, long-distance phone calls, mobiles, "sidekick", night-buses, queing up, "heaven", roller disco, plentyoffish.com, chatting with old flames from your past who should have stayed in your past but instead end up calling you fucked up and asking you to marry them, un petit pillule et demi, pureness, lynx body wash, ordering things online when you can't find them at your local, the x factor, big brother UK, "friends" reruns on 24/7, dreaming of new tattoos until you can actually afford them, andy warhol originals, seeing live music, dj's, loving your lives, carousels, piers, fake and baking, shopping till you drop, doritos, veganism, bettering yourself and making good decisions, being YOU!

DEAL-BREAKERS

what are the relationship deal-breakers in your eyes?

imagine the last thing you'd want your boyfriend/girlfriend to tell you...what is it? what does it involve? what would you say? and most importantly, could you get past it?

does there exist certain things/actions/circumstances that are a part of your partner's past that if revealed would cause you to look at them differently, and thusly evaluate how much you want to be with them?

i'm sure everyone can think of something that if heard from your bf/gf's lips would have them running for the hills...but now imagine that you've actually heard it...

now react.

what do you do; do you stick around? do you wait it out? do you try and learn more as to better understand why they did what it is they did? or do you simply turn away and hope that the next one that comes along won't have as much baggage with them?

but what if the next one does? what if the next one's is worse??? or horror of horrors yet, what if you then realize that the one you turned away, meant more to you over-all than their bit of "unfortunate news"???????

they say everyone's threshold of pain is different, but what about our emotional threshold? are some of us better equipped to handle with these "deal-breakers", and if so where do they get their strength???

this one needs time to ponder me thinks...but what if in this case time only shadows the issue even more??? hmmm....

MIZZ JAMESON














well loads has been happening in the jenna jameson part of the world; let's start with the gorgeous ad you see before you!!!! miss jameson has been involved with peta for quite some time now; she's been quoted as saying it's a cause that's very dear to her heart...and well we all know how down i am with my girl J, and this just solidifies our relationship all the further!!

always an animal lover, in previous peta ad's she's shed her attire in a bid to consumers to purchase "pleather" instead of the ever-animal-cruel "leather".

this time around, she appears naked (and with a killer hair-cut; very much a pornstar take on "the rihanna") alerting us to all be sure to spay/neuter our pets. now this may seem odd to some; what's so wrong with breeding animals??? isn't that like saying to humans "get your tubes tied you dirty whores!"??? but peta brings up a very good point; the more animals go not being spayed or neutered, the more likely they are to go whore around town, get knocked up, and end up having loads of litters that sometimes go uncared for.

now if you're an animal lover; and you freakin' better be, this should hit you close to your heart! i've had both my puppies fixed as soon as i could; not only does it help cut down on the amount of homeless animals roaming the streets, but it also is beneficial to the animal. you'll notice improvements in behaviors as well as the way they act in public!

i also love the cheekiness of the ad; for those of you who can't read between the lines the ad features jenna jameson (aka the Queen of Porn) advertising that sometimes "too much sex, can be a bad thing..." can't you just taste the irony??

and in other jenna news; not that i'm the first to announce it, but my dear JJ is pregnant!!!!!! isn't that exciting???

after suffering miscarriages she's finally preggers with her first child with boyfriend tito ortiz (the UFC dude!) i couldn't be happier for her, she deserves nothing but the best!!!

congrats jenna!!!!!!!!!!

xx

WHAT I'M LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW

1. Ava Leigh; her cd is not out until September i do believe, but you can find some of her tracks on limewire that have been leaked.

she's fuckin' phenomenal; reggae mixed with pop and a sultry british accent... this blonde beauty lives in Brighton and it shows through her laid-back, hippy/surfer vibe. some note-worthy tracks include "mad about the boy" and "burnin".
2. Lady Gaga; she also is fuckin' phenomenal, yet a tad bit more dancy!! think gwen stefani and madonna's lovechild...complete with sexual experimentation and style of music!!

"just dance" features akon and it's one of summer's best club-bangers!! she's american, blonde (with a fringe), gorgeous, and the "new gay icon" according to yours truly!! other note worthy tracks include "love games", "dirty ice cream", "boys boys boys", and "papparazzi". her cd "the fame" is due out in October.

3. the Ting Ting's; the british pop phenomenon duo is new to the music scene, but with their debut album "we started nothing" they seem like seasoned veterans! a little indy, a little pop-ish, all amazing!!! my favorite track is "shut up and let me go"...and the video is a real trip too!

4. sam sparro; what can i say about the tuxedo-clad babe of "black and gold" video fame. he's openly gay, fantastic, with a retro-new-rave vibe to his music! besides the aforementioned "black and gold", check out "sick" and "cling wrap". not exactly club-bangers, but definitely note-worthy!

5. Natty; this reggae king is new to my ears, but i'm loving what i've heard so far! very mellow reggae, but fantastic!!

check 'em out lovahs, you won't be disappointed!

WHERE ARE ALL THE LATE 20SOMETHING GUYS????











now this may not make the most sense to my "non-gay/young" fanbase, but check this out: as most of you know i'm quite the fan of plenty of fish (.com) but recently have noticed a certain unfortunate trend happening...

whenever i log on to take a look at what's available, i notice there's a huge divide between the types of guys out there: first of all you have the 18-21 year old's- mostly "newly" out of the closet, new to the "scene", some pill-heads, and very-often-more-often-than-not only into 1-nighters...

now not to categorize them as a formal group or anything, but if i were to lend myself over to the stereotype i might happen to say that these 18-21 year olds (as i was at that age) tend to not know what they want...and if they do know what they want, they don't know how to get it. and if they do know how to get it, usually go about "getting it" all the wrong way. most, and i do mean "most" can be somewhat obsessive, and tend to become easily attached. (k i feel awful to be writing that, cause i was that kind of 18-21 year old...)

so there's one group; the second is the 35-45 year olds...now i don't know too much about that group, since they never seem to message me...or i them...which is odd because i've had a few silver-foxes in my day, and have always found their type (middle-aged, been-around-the-block-know-how-to-use-their-cock, in shape, spry) quite attractive...

my question is this: where are all the in-betweeners??!?!?!?!?!?

like seriously; where are the 24-30 year olds???????

i'll tell you where they are; they've all got boyfriends...

see the 18-21 year olds just haven't found one yet...and the 35-45 year olds are recently divorced/broken-up from their husbands, partners, boyfriends, what-have-you!!!!!!

so what does this mean???? have i missed my chance????? was my long-term relationship out there somewhere and i just let it pass me by???? has mister right come and gone, or even worse-off; have i already had him and let him get-away??!?!?!!?

its infuriating!!!!!!! so this goes out to all the gay 24-30 year olds out there who feel the same way i do...fancy a date?

1. chez; this little man found moi on good ol' plenty of fish.com...and even though things didn't work out with bachelor #1, i do urge you all to check out that site...good things can come from it, just ask carol!!

anywho, chez is a 20 year old little shit, who swore he was not like others his age..."i'm different..." he cooed as he nuzzled my neck, " i know what i want, and i'm not afraid to go for it"...

le bullshit, i cooed back...and i was right.

no 20 year old knows what they want...let alone have the foggiest clue as to what life is all about. you're just becoming secure with yourself at the age of 20, and there's no way you are mature enough as a gay man to give yourself over to someone else without any hesitation.

a word to the wise people, when a 20 year old from the sticks tells you "you're the one" after only a night and 2 orgasms later (one of which i think he faked), run screaming and save yourself the puzzlement as to why they spurt horseshit from their mouths...

but fuck things sound sexier in a british accent...that you can take my word for

2. the bartender man; this guy was another encounter from p.o.f and would have been a better one if it weren't for the staying up all night (you can just guess) and doing the walk-of-shame home from my all-nighter still wearing last night's outfit (which didn't look as nice at 6 am as it did at 10 pm) and contact lenses.

he was cute, and super sexy, but alas a MANAGER (which i've since sworn off completely this time...really) and once again 21 years old.

well there's not really much to say about this one, since there hasn't been a 2nd encounter due to his impending move back home with his parents...stop snickering...who also live in the sticks...

see bachelor #1 for feelings about boys who live in the sticks.

3. the doctor; this ones one of the boys...sorry, OLD MEN from my past...he was actually my first; yup...we did it in a parking garage outside of a gay bar in halifax...hot, i know...anywho i thought he lived in america now, but after a quick boo at his website (www.drnickevans.com) i found out that he's now a UK resident again...he was born in wales, and has since re-joined the other brits in his homeland!

well, you can only imagine what happened next...

after a few flirtatious texts/calls/emails, we have still yet to meet. and will probably still be waiting. we met in 1999, (which was 9 years ago) and he's now 44 years old...yeah, yeah...he's obviously set in his ways and not too eager to get out of them...what's that about teaching an old dog new tricks??

well that was until he called me last weekend; high off his ass and drunk as a skunk, spouting some sort of amy-winehouse-nonsense about how we should get married, and how in love with me he was, and how much he wants to do *blankety blank blank* to me after all this time...

yada yada yada...well let's just say this dirrty boy discovered his "charlotte-esque" side upon hearing him come on this strong...and i was completely and totally turned off.

a) how can you be this old and still doing drugs????
b) how can you be so resentful after 9 years of the way things ended between us???
c) wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age...k, that's more something i learned rather than a question...but it's still suitable here!

well loves, it's only been a few months...so let's hope the summer continues to sizzle as much as the past while has!!!!!

kisses

THE MISCELLANEOUS DATING ADVENTURES OF A BUBBLY 20SOMETHING


well recently i have realized just how difficult dating is going to be as i grow older. not that it's going to be any less fun or enjoyable, but that the care-free times of yore are now going to be few and farther between.

i wonder if all singles reach a time in their lives when they start to reevaluate certain relationship decisions they made long ago? I wonder if there's ever a moment of reflection where they wish they had of stuck around with that "certain someone" just a little longer... or maybe they think that things would have been so different if only you had learned to live with "you-know-who's" make-or-break flaw...or maybe it would have been you walking down that aisle instead of your bff if you had of accepted that date with that "what's-his-name" boy who you only had luke-warm feelings for...

this little canadian boy has certainly been around the block a few times...and around, and around, and around, and back again...and i certainly have my share of demons and skeletons in the closet...ones that i've been trying to forget about over the years...but now things are different; now an ocean separates me from my demons, and i find myself in a new land with new ones to be discovered.

does dating ever get easier? will first dates always be like job interviews with cocktails? will i ever be able to see things for how they really are? since i've been in the UK i've decided to cut my losses with the silly-billy's from my past, and look forward instead of behind.

they say things happen when you're not looking for them...but then how do people find eachother on dating websites? isn't that looking???? why are they exceptions to the rule? regardless, i'm going back to being career and "ME" focused...cause children, at the end of the day you're the only one that matters...

remember that

NEW



well with the blink of an eye, and the crossing of an ocean, life changed all over again...

suddenly i was surrounded by a population who spoke differently than i...suddenly, after 26 years of looking one way before i crossed the street now i had to look the other way...suddenly all the money in my wallet looked unfamiliar...suddenly i had to ask for directions again...suddenly the tv shows all seemed strange and different...suddenly the drivers of cars all sat in the right hand side...suddenly i was starting over...

and as scary as that might seem to those who read this, i welcomed the change with open arms!

suddenly my craving for something new and unfamiliar was satisfied...suddenly my yearning for new faces was met...suddenly my desire for different surroundings felt fulfilled...suddenly my search for something stimulating felt reached...

those who know me know that i don't settle for anything but extremes, its' always been how i built my life...and this move was no exception.

a new smile is upon my face...a new spunk in my step...a new desire to learn everything about my new home buzzes in my brain...

no one's denying it's difficult to leave things behind...but i needed to start making decisions that were best for me...and for that little white and furry fella whose picture you see at the top of this entry...and whose arrival i anticipate like a billion child's anticipation of christmas morning...

next time you're faced with something unknown and unfamiliar...consider the other side...what can you gain from it? how will it fulfill you? will you be a better person because of it?

then jump and go for it!!

Britney Spears - Break The Ice official full length video

miss spears has decided to go digital for her new single "break the ice". while this is one of my favorite tracks off her "blackout" album...i'm not entirely sure what's happening in this video...hmmm, thoughts? i've heard that she was going for a "toxic" feel to the video...but it's meaning is a little harder to decipher than 'toxic's' message...it may take a few more viewings before i fully comprehend brit-brit's point!

but no one can call her unoriginal!!

PLEATHER IS THE NEW BLACK...














so my girl jenna is the newest and latest celeb to jump 'board the "Peta train", only this time she's wearing clothes!!!


sorry boys; but miss jenna (who has recently announced at the Adult Film Awards that she is officially retiring from the porn 'biz) is the new face of Peta's "pleather yourself" campaign (take note of the pun on the word "pleather/pleasure...") so i guess some will find it suiting that she's being once again associated with the act of "pleasuring" oneself, seeing as how she's built an entire empire around it!!

"pleather yourself" is a fresh and original take on Peta's anti-fur campaign, advertising "pleather" (aka the once considered outfit material of sluts and skanks alike) as the new alternative to its animal UN-friendly leather counterpart.

i applaud mizz jameson for taking an active role in the fight for animal rights, especially one as unique and so often overlooked as this one; this one being the fight against 'leather'. so many of us purchase leather belts, and shoes without even considering that leather is almost as bad as buying fur...it's just not as 'in your face' as fur is...but it's still something that hopefully (maybe even with the help of Peta's new campaign) will someday soon be abolished.

Peta is offering up "pleather" as one of the many alternatives to leather goods; i don't think they expect any of us to throw away whatever leather they have hanging in their closets, especially since this little vegetarian can't afford to go out and purchase a whole new wardrobe's worth of black dress shoes and belts!!

but one thing is for sure; you can bet that i'm going to start searching far and wide for more animal friendly "pleather" alternatives...even ones that aren't for the bedroom...

rowwwwrrrr!!

RANDOM THOUGHTS FROM A BORDER-LINE ADHD PERSONALITY...


a. sooo the oscars are on tonight, and despite almost being cancelled due to the catastrophic writers strike that had impeded hollywood-land and all it's happenings, the show will go on!!

little lesbian ellen page, who just happens to be a hali-grown native, is up for best actress for her role as a pregnant teen-ster in the fabulously lovable comedy "Juno"...i and the rest of nova scotia are crossing our fingers for you mizz page; clean the floor with those pretentious hollywood bitches!!!

b. saw a fantastic (and free) concert last night; Canadian rockers/blue grass/crooners/country stars "blue rodeo" graced the stage of the metro center last night in halifax: and fuckin' rocked the shit outta the place, might i add! those guys may be pusing 60 but they still know how to put on a bitchin' show! it was the second time i saw them live in my dear ol' city of origin, and like the first time you have sex, were even better the second time around!!

the fabulous and lovely miss laura had been given tickets that her aunt had won over the radio, and decided to invite lil' ol' me along for the ride! something about a free concert, that makes it so much more enjoyable; maybe it's the lack of "pressure to have a good time" when you didn't pay anything to walk through the doors? hmmm...

c. my lover, and future roommate miss carolyn power leaves for the UK tomorrow...and i'm a little upset that i'm (myself and jet, that is) aren't leaving at the same time; for those of you who aren't aware, carol (as i sometimes call her) and i met in the far, faraway land of Fort Kent while studying to become teachers. we fell in love, slept together a few times, and have remained very close friends! (well, it went something like that...) and we are now moving to jolly ol' England together for work and other sorts of debauchery!

as much as i'd love to leave now instead of waiting another month, i know that it's much more feasible for me to be waiting; more time to work and thus save money to move with, and i'll be separated for less time from my dear jet...(who'll be joining me in the UK a few more months!)

d. why is it that when on the bus in halifax (aka the peasant wagon) we willingly give up our seats for fat people...excuse me, "overweight" people???? by allotting them special treatment (such as giving them our seats on the bus) aren't we encouraging them to continue to overeat??? we're basically reassuring them; go ahead and have that double extra carcus burger...don't worry, you may get fat, but at least you'll be treated better and pitied as a reward for your shitty eating habits... the only people who should have seats given up for them are those with small children, and those who suffer from a physical disability...not heffers who can't stop themselves from shoving junk down their throats!

e. i'm so compltely into amy winehouse's music these days, it's crazy!!!! at first i thought she was just kinda scary...but then i gave her music a chance and let me tell you; WOW!! she's fuckin' phenomenal!!!! i urge you all to seek out her music and obsess away!

there's nobody out there in the music industry today who has is doing what she's doing; she truly is a breath of fresh air...a somewhat 'troubled' breath, but a breath nonetheless! she's kinda "big band-ish", with a soulful and loungy feel to her voice...her '60's beehive hairdo is a throwback to the days of yore, that her voice complements perfectly.

favorites of mine include "valerie" featuring mark ronson, "back to black", and "love is a losing game".

xoxo

LOOKING AROUND...

as i sit here, a mere month (give or take) away from my date of departure, there's a lot going through my mind...how will i live without my jet for 4 months, how will i adjust to a foreign land, will i make friends, will i find a hot brit to call my own (snicker, snicker)...

then my mind wonders to larger, more pressing issues; will they like me, will i fit in, will i be able to live comfortably, will i love my schools, will i get hopelessly lost on the underground and have to call carolyn to come pick me up??!?! haha! k, the last one isn't totally a justifiably-worry!!

moving from the place that you've called "home" for oh so long is never going to be easy...there will always be feelings of melancholy, and a desire for the familiar...picking up and moving somewhere different is bound to be scary...but odly i'm not feeling plagued by these feelings of fear and uncertainty...i'm fuckin' stoked!!

the good thing is that i'm not going at it alone...plus i've done it before! and if i can do it, and 'do' the only other gay guy in a small town in northern maine...then i can do ANYTHING!!

as i look around the little town that has housed me and my lil' family for so many years, i'm suddenly struck with the oh so many things i'll miss about this silly little town; i'll miss the late night walks i've had in clayton park through it's winding and undiscovered pathways, i'll miss the summer's spent walking along halifax's boardwalk, i'll miss my hang-over days spent at the pool with my big shades covering up my dark circles, i'll miss being able to skinny-dip in said pool...after dark, of course...i'll miss our little day trips to the beach, pooches in tow!! i'll miss halifax's assortment of drinking establishments, i'll miss spring garden rd and it's many shops and beautiful people, and most of all i'll miss my friends...

but one thing is for certain, that as much as i'm giving up by leaving halifax again, i'm also gaining a whole lot more this time around...i'm not going to shittsville USA, i'm going to the most exciting city in the freakin' world!!!!

take that fort kent, maine!!

WINTER VOYEURISM

so big brother started again last night, and i'm more addicted ALREADY than ever!!!

i decided to include a pic of the two gay 'eye candy' boys who are part of this season, for all your viewing pleasures!!

the idea behind this season is that all players took a 'love quiz' before the show started, and are paired in the house with their potential "soulmate"; they'll be sleeping in the same bed as their soulmate, competing with them, voting with them, and even be up for eviction with them!!!! can you say, trouuuuuble!!!!!

it's certainly a new spin on an old idea and it's gonna get juicy!!!! included amongst the contestants are the two fabulous gay men (who i'm totally hot for), a recently broken-up couple, a real-life couple (who are pretending to not even know eachother), a cougar, a paparrazzo, a bikini barista, and many more!!!

it should certainly be a good season, stay tuned!!!

BE KIND...

so today in the lunch room somebody "confronted" me on my specific values by which i live my life, specifically on my eating habit values; basically i was put-down and almost ridiculed for choosing not to eat meat. even more reduntant was the fact that "she" basically told me that i was going to be shit out of luck when it came to finding appropriate "vegetarian fare" when i moved to the UK, and that i would have to rely on 'care packages' delivered from canada for survival...

well to quote my future people, that's a pile of bollocks!!!

you know what, i'm pretty fuckin' tired of people practically making fun of me for choosing a 'animal-loving' way of living, that not to mention is also for health reasons. now don't get me wrong, i have no problem answering questions from meat-eaters who approach the issue with the inevitable "omg, you're a vegetarian...like what do you eat??? how do you survive??" since they're bound to come up. but why would someone go out of their way to basically put my lifestyle decision down and make it seem inferior to their own...it's fuckin' retarded people, so mind your own business!!

not once have i ever made fun of people for eating carcus in front of me, and not once would i preach about the dangers/polluting factors involved with eating meat, to someone who didn't ponder it to me...i have no problem defending my position on the issue and i certainly don't mind educating those who are eager to understand why i'm a vegetarian (i think it's mean, unnecessary and unhealthy...to name a few...)

i do not wish to instill my values and beliefs upon others who aren't interesting in learning what i have to tell them...i believe that choosing a vegetarian lifestyle is something that you have to do for yourself...so on that note don't harp on me or throw meat-eating defences down my throat...cause i don't fuckin' buy it...

why would someone even say something so detrimental to me?? i'm sorry, but you don't live in england, nor have you ever even been there...how do you pretend to know what they may or may not have in their grocery stores/markets??? how do you know that they don't have the widest assortment of veggie food available in all of europe??? in fact, a little fyi for you; maybe you weren't aware of the fact that the UK founded the worlds first "vegan organization" giving support and spreading knowledge as to the benefits of choosing such a lifestyle...so don't tell me that i won't find the necessary nourishment i need there, cause they fuckin' founded it!!!!!!

DIRTY PRETTY THINGS



i love this photo of the world's naughtiest threesome, out on the town, dressed to the nine's...and totally fucked up!!!

for those of you at a loss for words as to when and where this little "strategically-planned-photo-op" took place; this was just around the time that britney's (continual) downfall was starting to snowball at drastic speeds! it was just around the time that she ended her "temporary insanity" induced marriage to k-what's his fuck, and was rejoining the club-crowd and making up for lost time...

i guess from this perspective, we have no one to blame but dear sweet innocent paris, right?? there's a battle you're sure to lose!!

everytime i look at this pic taken of the 3 troublemakers in the car together, i can't help but wonder; how fucked up were they????? haha!! seriously though, can you imagine being a fly on the wall in that car?? or better yet, can you picture being an invite to the fuckin' party???

nicole richie gave readers a front-row seat in the retellings of her troubled, drug-fueled past in her tell-all book "the truth about diamonds", but i have always wondered if there was more to the story...

i guess being as huge a media-whore as i am, i can't help but want to know the WHOLE story...right down to every snort...

well one thing's for sure, these girls sure know how to party, and certainly have the hook-ups to make it happen!! i wonder what a night on the town with them might have actually been like??

probably best left a mystery though, eh?

PHEROMONES IN HAIR GEL???


did you know that "got2b" hair products have just come out with a product that is apparently infused with pheromones???

if you're anything like me, you may need a basic refreshment as to what a "pheromone" actually is before this conversation can continue: a pheromone is a chemical that is naturally produced by our bodies that causes a physiological reaction to occur in other people.

studies have shown that we as human beings at our most primal and natural states are simply animals reacting to each other's scents...these scents namely referred to as "pheromones".

my ponderance upon reading this ad was how exactly does a company "infuse" pheromones into a hair gel?? and if such a feat was to be accomplished, what kind of "reaction" or "stimulation" to our senses will this product infer?

the ad shows a very GQ lookinkg man obviously using the company's said product, surrounded by a mass of gorgeous looking ladies...hence invoking the idea that wearing this product will enhance your sexual prowess to the opposite sex...or in my case the same sex...*wink, wink*

well if you ask me, note: i'm an eternal optimist, this product is either the most genius creation of man up to date...or simply a pile of hooey...

therefore to solve this debate, i urge you all to go out and purchase "got2b's pheromone infused hair gel" and report directly back to me with your results...

discuss.

I WANT YOU ALL OVER ME...

soooo, totally random but i think someone should tell miss spears that it's dangerous to drive at night with sunglasses on...now don't get me wrong, i enjoy wearing my sunglasses well beyond sun-down, but i mean come on?!?!!? i know you have cameras in your face like 24/7, and the flashbulbs must give you migraines...but there's really no need to be wearing shades after dark when you're behind the wheel...and believe me when i say that we've all had enough of your fake gucci's...you're britney spears for fuck sakes, can't you at least afford a hot pair of chanel's?????

soooo perez hilton always has these "not so blind items" posted on his site where he blogs about certain secret celebs, giving us hints as to their identities, all the while painting certain incriminating portraits of them...and the last one i read was about a certian "recently rehabbed" male celeb who was caught snorting lines in the back of his limo at the sundance film fest recently...and i'm going to start my own type of guessing game...and peg colin farrell as the mystery celeb of the day...i just saw in "OK " magazine that he was photographed on numerous occasions drinking bottles of "water"...and we all know water cures dry mouth due to somethin' somethin'...so that's my prediction of the week!!

stay tuned for more details and predictions of next week's mystery badness!!

so i've recently begun tanning...something i swore i'd never do, seeing as how there's skin cancer in my family and i have numerous tattoos that i never want to fade...(but don't worry, i've been protecting my ink!!) anyways, today was my third session, and suddenly when the bed turned on i looked up and had an odd realization; this is weird!!!!!

when did it become considered beautiful to cook in a tanning bed for days at a time??? it's kind of funny when you think of it; we rotisserie ourselves (in a matter of speaking) in effort to make ourselves more attractive...does that sound weird to anyone else??? can you imagine if it all of a sudden became attractive to look hideously and ghostly pale???? all the tanning salons would all of a sudden go out of business and everyone would be walking around carrying umbrellas on sunny days to shield themselves from the sun...

hopefully that will never happen...cause i think i'm officially on my way to tanorexia!!!

wish me luck!!

xoxo

SERIOUSLY THOUGH...

it's no secret that young hollywood is, has been, and will always be plagued by certain inevitable bouts and run-ins with illicit drugs and other illegal substances...but is it just me or is it starting to turn DEADLY???

it seems like every time you turn around one such celeb is on their way to the ever-trendy stint in rehab (a la lindsay lohan), or caught smoking crack on film (hello amy winehouse), or caught dead in your bed surrounded by bottles of sleeping pills and residue of powdery substances on 20 dollar bills (r.i.p heath ledger). this type of behavior is becoming an epidemic in hollywood, and one that is certainly not to be taken lightly...

kids today all over the world are starting to dabble in the "club" lifestyle (which is generally how it starts), and then before you know it their extra-curricular "weekend activities" are starting to take over their lives (which have begun to down-spiral out of control!)

it's nothing short of a complete tragedy if you ask me; these young actors and musicians have everything they've ever wanted being handed to them on a gold splattered platter...and they're wasting all their well deserved attention being stalked by tmz.com trying to catch them in the midst of one of their drug-fueled binges...

since when did rehab become the new 'black'???? honestly people, if you're going to go crazy and party your lives away, i have some words of advice: everything in moderation, hire a fucking driver, becareful of who your 'friends' are, beware of camera phones when you're snorting lines in the bathroom stall with your "comrades", be nice to people so as to not piss them off, and for jesus sakes stay away from paris hilton...she seems to be the one to stir the "trouble pot" every now and then for previously-innocent baby-celebs!!

LOOK FOR THE ______, AND YOU'LL FIND ME:




the inevitable coffee rings i leave all over the tables where i'm sitting in the a.m. hours, the trail of gossip magazines i leave behind after i finish eating, the unpoped popcorn kernels that fall out of the popcorn maker after i make my "fix" for the night, my collection of empty red bull cans that i can never seem to deposit in recycling bins, my collection of stolen pens that i take without even knowing it, the perezhilton.com site address that you'll find on the history of every computer that i sit down in front of, the trail of receipts that i always keep from bought items ranging from gum to electronic devices, the dirty foot prints that i leave all over the house in the winter time, the keys that i leave in the door far more often than not, my collection of "the coast" issues that i keep in every room of my house, my day-planner that is never far from my side, my ever-beeping cell phone that is constantly at my side, my gwen stefani harajuku lovers man-bag that i don't go anywhere without, my little barking pooch whom i'd take everywhere with me if i could, the sound of "dentyne ice" being chomped down upon that i chew constantly, the sound of humming coming from somewhere almost unmistakable...

teehee

DREAM A LITTLE DREAM...





i have never been able to remember my dreams...no matter how i tried, or how many "dream recognition" exercises i practiced before i fell asleep, when i woke, never fail, my dreams were forgotten...

i even sometimes think that i simply DON'T dream...like i'm missing that part of the brain that allows people to escape their daily issues and fantasize about the untouchable...

now while i'm aware that it's physically and neurologically impossible to NOT dream; everyone who enters into REM sleep, dreams...and most are completely and totally able to remember at least some part or image from the dreams they drempt...and then another select few of us are completely and totally UNABLE to remember them...and yet still are forced to regale in the retellings of our friends past dreamscapes and nightmares...

well from the mouth of someone who CANNOT remember their dreams; let me tell you that we don't wanna hear about it bitches!!!?!? and we feel you're bragging that you can revel in the afterthoughts of your amazing and bewildering dreams all freakin day long...so cut it out!!!

now don't get me wrong, everynow and then i'll wake up with a certain image still burning in my short-term memory...but most of the time the images aren't pleasant ones, and are usually leftovers from nightmares (yes, i too get those sometimes...and unfortunately those types tend to be the ones that stick around!) or else the rest of the time the images won't make sense, and when i try to put them into words i'm at a loss...and i end up forgetting anyways...left only with the feeling they gave me...

and yet sometimes still i'll wake up to find out that my little friend has been enjoying some pleasant images from within my twisted mind, and will be standing at full attention...and who am i to deny him his satisfaction?? at least part of me is benefiting from my dreams!!

but in the end, when i really consider my situation, i come to the realization that things could be a lot worse! i could be one of those people who have the utmost trouble falling asleep in the first place...or i could be plagued by incessant fits of tossing and turning/waking up in the middle of the night unable to fall back asleep...man, that would be shitty...

so i am at least proud to say (knock on wood) that i am able to fall asleep very blissfully, and at a whim...whether completely exhausted or just slightly in need of a snooze!! so there!!

besides, why waste time dreaming when the real world is so much more exciting?

*wink, wink*

xoxo

WHAT I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF NOW:

perezhilton.com (i'm horribly addicted, like seriously i check him 50 times a day...i want to marry him), jet (that goes without saying), the UK (my future home), "dragonette" (download away bitches, she's amazing...totally rockin' scenester pop; aka sexalicious), posh and becks (the new 'brangelina' that is here to stay...beyond sexy and forever beautiful trendsetters of the globe...simply a-mazing), putting garlic on my popcorn (melt some in with your butter if you're using a hot-air popper), the new fluroescent colored boxer-briefs from american eagle (too cute), ginch gonch briefs for men, the magazine "strut" (for both men and women; a little bit gay and all-over fantastic), the new "sex and the city" movie coming out in may, youporn.com (you'll never pay for porn again), marilyn monroe (vintage photos, her music from her movies, and the bio "goddess; the secret lives of marilyn monroe"), andy warhol prints (simply long-lasting works of pure genius), britney (sad, i know...i just feel absolutely 100% horrible about her situation...the world won't be satisfied until her predicament ends in pure tragedy), goveg.com (amazing recipes for the vegetarian on the run), tanning (i know, i know...but glowing skin sure is one way to beat the winter blues), facebook (just when i thought the excitement was winding down, they go and re-vamp it and make it all the more fantastic!!), the name "harlow" for girls, the apple iphone (hoping to buy one in the UK!!)

...and much much more!!

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CONFESSIONS OF 2007


i fell in love when i shouldn't have let myself, i fell out of love just as fast and dealt with it badly, i was a terrible friend on more than one occasion, i screened my calls far too often, i sounded interested in people's situations when i really really wasn't, i talked behind too many people's backs, i carried coke in my pocket across the border, i smuggled booze across the border, i hung out with people because i thought it would make me seem more important, i allowed myself to be guilted into sex, i put far too much shit up my nose, i spent money unwisely, i gossiped about those i loved, i had a hate-on for weddings/relationships/engagements, i ate pills and mixed them with booze, i prank-texted exes, i used people for what they could give me, i bought many new sex toys, i cried heavily over my proplems, i developed a fear for living on my own (which i then conquered), i fought and had mean thoughts about loved ones, i acted fake to many a people, i watched a helluva lot of porn, i was compeltely and utterly two-faced, i skinny-dipped in my pool, i had a summer-bout with solo-exhibitionism, i renewed a love for weed, i had panic attacks, i got scared of being hurt again in a relationship, i lied my ass off to get out of a bind, i borrowed money from people with no intention of ever giving it back, i spent a lot of time on "dating websites", i got new tattoos with money i should have been doing other things with, i sweated a lot of small stuff, i totally stiffed a cab driver on the fee...

and i learned my lessons...and am a better person for it.

just a little something i found online that i thought was genius and had to share with all of you.

it's basically britney invisioned as the mother mary...or something like that. she's surrounded by all the things that complete her and make her holy; starbucks, the hollywood sign, candy, her children.

it's really quite the vision since we as a society have allowed her to rise to such an immortal status. we have given her the power to rule over her land of minions by obsessing over her every move. and for those who haven't been obsessing over her every move you have at the very least partaken in many a water cooler chats over the dear pop princess, i'm sure...

i have chosen not to comment too much on her (somewhat inevitable) downfall that has surfaced in the news as of late...simply because i'm sure if you're anything like my mother you're on official britney overload...but what can we say, we're a sucker for a billionaire's pending breakdown!! try as we will, britney continues to reign even when she's scraping rock bottom...and who does she have to thank for her new-found and continuous attention??

US!!

if you ask me, i betcha her cd sales are soaring now thanks to her latest tantrum...i think she should release a new video...i bet it would kill

LADIES AND GAY BOYS

may i introduce to you Chris Evans. some of you may recognize him from such flicks as "Fantastic Four", "Not another teen movie", "Cellular", and the most recently romantic comedy/cuming-of-age movie "the nanny diaries"...also known as the "movie i just finished watching".

ahem

i have been mildly obsessed with chris evans and his apparent HOTNESS since i first laid gay eyes on him when he spoofed freddie prinze jr in "not another teen movie", he had black hair and played the highschool popular jock character...and i know you can't forget about his "whipped cream banana split" scene from that movie where he appears naked with only whipped cream covering up his naughty parts...oh, and he had a banana stuck up his ass...how could i forget about that part!!!!

well i really must admit that there's a certain something about this fella that has always gotten my kahonas to rise...and he doesn't show signs of stopping anytime soon!! especially by the looks of this photo you see on my right!!!

he is dreamy sex-bomb cute, and i just figured you might all want a little dose of sexuality on this otherwise lazy new year's day!!

happy new year, by the way!!