til death do them part



i wanted to post this a while ago, but never had the chance...so now's a good a time as ever. carmen electra and dave navarro have since split during the time that i made my move to 'no man's land', i mean maine...and it's a sad sad day...

they were probably (in my eyes) the hottest rock and roll couple to ever marry since my pamela and tommy. or donna d'errico and nicki sixx...sigh...

they had a wonderful marriage, most of which was actually immortalized on silicone during their mtv reality show "till death do us part" which basically followed them around for a few months as they got ready for their wedding. the invitations to which were my opening photo on this entry; them as corpses on slabs in the morgue...that's what they sent out to prosepective guests cordially inviting them to their nuptials...hot, eh?

but just like oh so many couples (let alone rock couples) their marriage has since failed...and the ever-so imminent divorce has been filed. but dave's not doing so bad since the break-up; he's recently been seen canoodling with my girl jenna jameson...and if there's any lady i'd like to see him with besides my pussycat doll carmen, it'd be jenna! but that hasn't lasted either.

anywho, let's take a moment and wish them the best during whatever crazy sexual romps they get themselves in next time.

good luck!

no slippery slope



me loves me some dave...anyways, just a side note to the good people of fort kent; i know it may not be an overwhelmingly gay populated area, but where the hell is your lubricant??? i've searched the "pick and save" high and low, and even lower...and to no avail; i've continuously cum out empty handed...pun intended!

whadupwitat?

is vaginal sex the only sex that's allowed in this village of yours? not all holes have natural lubricants here people! some need a little help!! even some of our silicone based toys need a little help gettin' to where they need to go, and hand cream just doesn't do the trick!!!

mind you, if i had been smart this lil' twink should have brought a supply of, well...EVERYTHING! cause i should have known that not everything would be readily available at my lil' non-slippery fingertips.

but alas, i was not so prepared and thus i remain lubricant-less...so for any of you fellow readers who might be thinking of sending me a care-package in the mail...(have i mentioned this already??) don't forget the k-y!!!!!

venus envy, you're gonna love me when i get back!!!

dreaming


excuse the rampant images of boys that may be flodding my blog lately, but when you're living in "no-man's land" (literally) such as i, a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do...ahem...to keep himself busy that is! so consider this my "dreaming of hotter times" entry for the week.

all this lavalife talk with (you know who you are) has got me all hot and bothered...it got me reminiscing of my cruiseline days...ahhh, hot boys all only a phone call away! some might put the ways of gay sex dial-a-date lines down and categorize them in the "desperate" category...but in fact those who would do such a thing haven't tried them. and as the saying goes; don't knock it until!!

in my opinion it's a means to an end. a very 'direct' means to an end...and the end, if all goes well, is usually sticky but very very fun! i've pretty had every type of cruiseline experience there is to have! good ones, hot ones, old ones, bad ones, and all the ones in between. i believe my best story to date involves a day at the beach, and a half hour inbetween...renee knows all about this one. basically it went a little something like this; renee was coming to pick me up for a day at the beach, and i had about a half hour to waste; what a better time (as any) to hop on the ol' cruiseline and see what's up. so that i did, and a connection was made with a certain gentleman caller...the conversation was basically:
"well i'm leaving for the beach in 20 minutes...can you be here now?" said i.
"sure baby, what's your address?" said he.
"63 st margarets bay rd, apt 25"
"be there in five"

and he came as fast as he came...let me tell you!!

nothing beats a good quickie before a day of maxin' and relaxin' in the sun and sand...

ahhh, summer...

addicted

addicted

have you ever had something in your life that you just couldn't seem to get enough of? not necessarilly a physical thing, but simply something that you just can't seem to get out of your head?

now what if the thing you're addicted to isn't good for you; most addictions are unhealthy atleast to some degree...why would we continue punishing ourselves, whether mentally or physically, over and over again?

it's like the sweetest sin, something that urkes you every time you indulge yourself in it, but for some reason you just can't seem to stop...it may feel good at the time, but in the long run it's bound to cause us pain if we don't stop. now consider that this thing you're addicted to isn't a substance, or really a 'thing' at all...it's a person! does that make it any easier to get over? should we continue to treat it as any other addiction and wean ourselves off it, or should we just cut them out of our lives completely, cold turkey?

and even if we do put an end to the addiction, do we ever really get over it? or is it always a part of who we are? i've posed the question before as to whether we're products of our past, or whether we simply learn from our past mistakes and move on as bigger and better people...but the answer i thought i had come to has become bleaker as i got to where i am now.

i've never let the past heartaches i've suffered through decide who i was bound to become; i've never let them run my life for me...and i've always put down the people out there who remain forever scarred from their past upsets and live in fear of it happening to them again...it seems cowardly to act that way. and i stand by that.

but why is this time any different? could it be the distance i've put between myself and the problem? or could it be the fact that there was no closure? or even more upsetting still, could it be the fact that i'm still hanging on to that wonderful feeling of being wanted that he made me feel?

ashlee simpson once said that we never really get over people, we just move along and deal. and i've got to say that i agree with her. i can name on one hand the boys in my life who've had lasting effects on me, but i refuse to let that determine how i'll act in my next relationship...no matter who hurt who...

so why is this time any different?? i'm just going around in circles now, but my main point is that the distance has been put in place, and it's FUCKIN' TIME to continue on with new experiences.

in other words, it's time to get over it...

but as the old saying goes, it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all...and my advice to anyone out there who is involved in any 'emotionally masochistic' behaviour such as yours truly, is to repeat this affirmation to yourself at least once a day, focus on today and the bright future ahead, and just continue enjoying yourself...

and call me in the morning!

that was sexual

dear mr president,

i'm a naive and bubbly 20something who originally reigns from canada, nova scotia to be more precise, who has just recently taken up (maybe temporary) residence in your fine country. Maine is my state of habitat for now, and i simply must open up with a congratulations on what a fine job you and the people of maine have done in keeping up the fine standard of this self-proclaimed "vacationland". i've begun to appreciate it's beauty and self-respect and am proud to call myself a temporary U.S. resident.

although before i send you off on your 'high horse' there are a few things to which i would like answers. simple naive querries to which i hope you will be able to provide answers that reflect just 'why' you were put into power in the first place.

* first of all, i would like to know exactly what the rationale is behind maine's licence plates?? there just isn't any consistency to them; some have 3 letters and 2 random numbers, others have 2 letters and 3 random numbers...and then others have a sequence even more boggling! what gives??? i come from a 'not backwards' province whose licence plates have simply 3 letters and then 3 numbers. consider this one professional curiosity, due to the fact that i work for the registry of motor vehicles in ns.

* secondly, i've noticed that almost every house i come across has an american flag proudly displayed on their lawn. where do you think these grand gestures of patriotism come from? and what exactly do you think YOU personally had to do with these feelings of patriotism? now don't get me wrong; i come from a country (your sister country in case you forgot) whose citizens proudly TATTOO our nation's flag on our bodies...so i'm no stranger to patriotism. but i'm more interested in your thoughts on why YOUR people might feel proud to be a part of this country...and if any of these such reasons might involve YOU, mr president?

*• thirdly, and on a tad bit more of a personal note, WHERE ARE ALL THE GAY PEOPLE??? and what exactly do you have against the marital union of two such homosexual people under the law of the united states of america. true that i may be living in a bit of a more rural area in maine where gay people might be more of a minority here than in other parts of your fine country and the 'drought' in my kind might be due to a smaller population in general...but couldn't it also be partially due to the fact that your disapproval of 'my kind' might have forced certain of us to flee your fine country in search of a land where we are better accepted, and our human rights are acknowledged right up along there with our ‘straight’ counterparts, and where the RULER/person in power isn’t such a one-sided prejudiced and forgive me for saying since- it- puts- down- a- term-to-which-I-consider-myself-a-part-to NAÏVE man?!?

And as a ruler of a land whose entire existence seems to be based on “freedom of speech” and “good will” how dare you openly put down a way of life that actually epitomizes the values to which your country is based upon?

• and lastly what do you plan to do to convince/connive the people of your country into believing that you will actually start doing something good for this country instead of continuing to run it into the ground as some believe you have been doing, when it comes time to either give you the boot outta office or (hopefully not) reelect you back into power?

I’m just curious to know…

Sincerely,
A proud can-(temp) American

Ps the photo at the beginning of this letter is merely eye candy for my readers…I never thought you might derive any pleasure from seeing ‘angel’ naked in the tub…that would be against your morales, wouldn’t it?

a poem for a girl

a poem for a girl

in my life, there is a girl,
who knows things that others don't,
i've never been afraid to open up,
for judge me i know she won't.

she's the person to whom i look up,
well wise beyond her years,
she always bends when i'm broken,
and is there to wipe up my tears.

her relationship has given me hope,
and the drive to believe it true,
that the right person for me is out there,
even when i feel battered and blue.

like a piano without its keys,
without her i would not feel whole,
whether by my side or far away,
a part of my insides and my soul.

today she turns a year older,
gaining more speed along the way,
i only wish i could be in halifax right now,
to wish her a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!


i love you forever and always liss...live it up!!

pickups

pickups



so as a result of working at the registry of motor vehicles for three and a bit years, i've got the finely tuned ability to spot a trucker from a mile away. i can seriously smell a '83 gmc driver coming into the office before he even pulls up to the parking lot.

they're all the same; greasy clothes, trucker hat, dirty fingernails, sometimes the occasional tooth missing, and the terrible grammer.

well my friends, welcome to fort kent, maine! i swear to god if i see one more trucker driving their beat-up chevy pickup down main street like they're the shit...i'm gonna scream!?! what's with pickups and small towns??? well one obvious use of a pickup is their ability to haul atv's (my other pet peeve; they're dangerous and they cause more accidents than any other sort of vehicle out there...and they're annoying to register). and in a small village such as this one, atv's probably do come in handy...people actually drive them on the street here...honestly, i've seen them!!

but other than hauling atv's, why does everyone in town drive trucks??? i remember the last time i was in yarmouth, and i was warned about all the people who i'd see parked at the local mcdonalds; all their trucks in a little row...just hanging out...i didn't believe the warnings at first...but low and behold, there they were!!

and fort kent, is no different...mind you i'm a few blocks in the opposite direction of the town's (only) mcdonalds...and being a vegetarian i have no reason to venture down and investigate to see if my theory is true...but i venture to guess that in the parking lot of that fine little restaurant, you'd find all the pickup drivers parked in a nice little row like ducks...just hangin'...

they must be stopped.

got becks??

k, i would totally start drinking milk again for mr beckham...there's something strangely erotic about this ad that i can't quite put my finger on...could it be the white mustache...hmmm...

and while on the topic of sticky white substances, do you know that there's not one store in fort kent that sells lubricant?!? what's up with that??

so for any of you putting together a little care basket for yours truly, don't forget the k.y!!!

greetings from U.S.A

well blogger keeps fuckin' up, so this post may be a tad short...considering i've been trying to publish this for hours now...and it keeps deleting it...grrr...so far not too impressed with maine!!!

no i'm just kidding...it's not nerely that bad! but it certainly is different. i don't think you can really be prepared for the way a move like this will make you feel. somedays (so far anyways) i wake up totally energized and psyched to go explore the new neighborhood to which i've just become a member, and others i just wake up longing to see a familiar face.

but it's only new right now...and school hasn't even started yet! i wouldn't be half as perturbed as i am if there were more to do around here, but in all honesty...fort kent (while being a lovely school i'm sure) doesn't have very much to offer.

so some adjustments will have to be made...that's one thing for sure. but the outlook is bright and positive! i know i've been saying how anxious i am to meet new people, and just how rusty i feel about the whole process...but i'm just going to have to put on my most charming face and just be myself.

...and pray that they like it!!

the apartment is fantastic and i'm only like a 15 minute walk to school, which makes me feel sooo much better! i was getting pretty nervous that i might get lost in a snow bank on my way to class in october sometime, which fyi is when they start getting flurries!!

sounds like fun, eh?

anyways, that's it for now...i just want to see if this will actually publish this time...and if it does then i'll be sure to write more again later today!

peace out

greetings from the U.S.A

testing

testing

never, and lates

ends and nevers




i shouldn't have put this as my opening photo, seeing as how it gives away the surprise for tomorrow night...but consider it a preview for tomorrow night's festivities for all of my loyal readers! (in case you've been sleeping under a rock for the past few weeks, this is my official "fuck you bitches, i'm leaving" t shirts i had made for tomorrow night's ssspecial occassion!!)

today was surprisingly hard; i hadn't anticipate just how i was going to feel saying 'goodbye' to my access crew. i mean, you spend 8 hours (sometimes more) with all these people every day...that's more than i see my family for shitsakes!!! you can't help but become accustomed to seeing them...and therefore they will be surely missed!

they got me a cake, and had a little party...complete with cards (that i won't read till tomorrow seeing as how they started to make me cry today while i was still at work...and i just don't feel strong enough to read them just as of yet).

this has been an extremely hard few weeks...while i was knee-deep in astronomy over the last 6 weeks i was able to push these feelings aside, thinking that i'll just deal with them later...later, eh? well that 'later' is now!! and i still don't feel ready for it.

i know it's time, i know it's right...this new chapter is starting with or without me and my proverbial train is leaving in just a few short days. only 3 days and 8 long (sure to be stressful) hours are keeping me from my new life...so as i take a deep breath, i prepare myself for the chaos that is sure to be my going-away party, and my new adventureand future career that's staring me in the eyes...

...i think i may need a push!

da look

DA LOOK





so last year the look was "boho chic" for all the men/women about town...you know you've seen it; the bangles, the long necklaces, the flowing street-sweeper skirts, and don't forget the oversize sunglasses.

i loved this look, i thought it was very mother-earthy, flower child, but with a touch of class. think black market skirts matched with a pair of vintage dior sunglasses.

this year, i've been spotting much of the same, but a little more hippie! i'm calling it 'hippie chick'. feel free to spread it around like wild fire...or maybe i should say 'petchulie fire'. think of hippie print headbands, same flowing skirts, less jewelry, more tunic style tops, and bright bright colors. the oversize frames are still in vogue, but less huge, and more shield-style.

here's a photo of nicole richie who's look i'm totally digging these days...minus the itty-bitty frame.


and speaking of her itty bitty frame...i'm never one to call someone overweight, just as i'd never call someone 'skinny', because being small myself i know just how much it can easily be interpreted as offensive and derogatory. but nicole, seriously i think we need to have a talk; from one 'skinny' to another...from the looks of this picture below, i think she seriously has a problem.



i'm glad she's not hiding behind hideously oversized frocks to mask her beyond petite frame, a la mary kate olsen...but on the other hand, someone should intervene. i loves me some nicole, but girlfriend could use to put on a few pounds!

hang in there missy! the gays are still behind ya!!

vamped and reconnected

vamped and reconnected


well i've been thinking of revamping my blog skin, and well here it is...it totally reminds me of "evolve", but also of just the state of mind i'm currently in...i think it depicts a very free yet focused, earthy, fun-loving, hippie kind of being. sometimes we need to just stop thinking, stop beating a dead horse, stop worrying about the small stuff...and just be!

while on the topic of 'just being', it came to me today just how much i really need to reconnect with myself right now...do you know what i mean? blake and i went out for a really long time; on and off for about a year, and then strong for a year and a bit...and since him i've seemed to survive train wreck after train wreck, and every time it seems like i've been giving a little bit of myself to these boys, and not really getting them back! it's like i've been trying to fill a void that i started feeling when i lost a bit of who i was after blake and i ended. after a relationship ends, you can't help but lose a bit of yourself when you part ways with that person; cause even if it ends on good terms...you'll never be that person again, no matter how small the change is.

and well, i really haven't taken any time for ME lately...i've been all about the other people, completely ignoring just exactly what i want and what's important to me in a relationship. so what better time to reconnect with myself then with a change of scenery! and that's exactly what i'm gonna do...obviously i'm going to maine for school, and to begin this new chapter in my life...but i'm also going to find myself again...

could i sound more oprah-like tonight?

enjoy the new skin kids...lemme know what you think!

things i'm gonna miss about halifax...

1. MY FRIENDS; you are my life, my heartbeat, my other half...the thought of not being able to see all your faces takes my breath away. things just won't be the same without ALL of you...

2. my parents; second to none...you have supported me (the way parents usually do) through all my trials and tribulations...i'm going to miss you're nagging...

3. downtown halifax; besides montreal, you were my first experience in the downtown drinking world/dating world...you popped my cherry, and took my innocence away...and made me who i am today...

4. access nova scotia; i've never stayed at a job as long as i've stayed at access...i've made a lot of friends, most for life...and had A LOT of laughs...you really brought me out of my shell, and helped me become the fantastic gay man i am today! to think, i started there still *somewhat* liking girls?!? (aka i was still becoming who i am...)

5. suburbia; i spent the majority of my life in the suburbs...born and raised into suburban middle class living...and i've gotten used to it! condos, pools, spoiled little brats/savages all around you...and a peaceful sunny atmosphere! and don't forget about the midnight skinny dips!!!

6. tim horton's coffee; i know, i know...i should hate it...it's a disappointment to the coffee world in general, and there's sooo much better out there. but when you drink 2 cups of the shit a day...it can't help but grow on you...mmm...caffeine...

7. HOTT boys; you know what, when you're staring up from inside the gutter, with pieces of your heart on the floor in front of you, you can't help but think that you're surrounded by dogs (and i don't mean puppies)...but when you pick yourself up, brush off the sludge from your boot cut gap jeans, and take a look around, you just might realize that this city is chalked full of HOTT, HOTTY, HOTT guys!!!! they're everywhere!! from sitting next to you on the bus, to standing in your lineup at work! take a look around!! trust me, they're there...i've dated just about half of them!!

8. the ocean; yeah i know that there are other beaches all over the world, but when you grew up around beautiful bodies of water like i have (from halifax's beautiful lakes and beaches to the pools of suburbia) the thought of being hours and hours away from sand just brings a tear to my eye...i live a life aquatic, and will never be far from it...and while in maine, it'll be in my heart! don't worry water, i'll be back!!!

9. my friends; wait, did i already say this one? well i can't stress it enough...i think in life you know when you've found someone who'll always be in your heart...no matter how many miles lie between you...cause you're not worried about leaving them. and while i'm totally not afraid of leaving my friends behind, (cause i know that we will always be together), i will MISS them with every ounce of my being...i've been so blessed to be able to surround myself with the most loving group of beautiful people out there, and each and everyone of them is irreplacable, and will always be in my heart...you're my everything, and we've TRULY been THROUGH EVERYTHING; from heart break, to heart ache...from sickness, to health...from laughs to tears...from successes, to failures...and i'll never forget one second of it...

10. the good times; halifax has brought me the most wonderful, unforgettable, memorable, fantastic, sad, happy, exciting, thought provoking, educational, tricky, challenging, enjoyable, pleasurable, sexual, confusing, drunken, high, low, maddening, attractive, BEAUTIFUL times of my life...

and i couldn't be happier.

halifax, you will always be beautiful...take care of my babies! you will certainly be missed!

cheers to many more fantastic years to come!!

glad he doesn't know i ate pills on saturday night...jeez...

it almost doesn't seem fair...the universe brings someone to you, and then takes him away...it throws you a bone, and then takes it away just as quickly...what's the point? i mean you spend all this time wondering what's the point in meeting someone who makes you feel the way you've anticipated feeling, and how you thought you 'd feel when you met HIM...and then all of a sudden it's over...and the world makes sense again...before you know it, everything clouds over, leaving you more confused than before.

when something doesn't work out, you can't help but blame yourself...as if it's always your fault, and then you start recounting all the things that you might have done over differently if given the chance...then it strikes you that even if you had done those things differently, you might still end up where you are right now... so what to do? should it be you who changes? or do we just end up looking for love in all the wrong places?

you can't help but start reconsidering who you are, and just what you give to someone else...should you open up so early? or should you keep certain things to yourself? is it too late? can you recover? will he forgive you for things you're too embaressed to even say out loud? or will he understand?

now factor in distance, now what? as if it's not tragic enough to have to say goodbye to someone you love as a friend...what happens when you say goodbye to a lover? dare i ask him to wait? or is it even worth my breath?

whatever the result, the party will go on...

DRESS TO KILL, lovas...

and again i give my ode to my bitches:

HERE'S TO THE MEN WHO WE LOVE,
HERE'S TO THE MEN WHO LOVE US,
BUT THE MEN WHO WE LOVE, WILL NEVER LOVE US,
SO FUCK ALL THE MEN, HERE'S TO US!!!!

dress to kill
aug 18th, 2006
costume extravaganza
MY going away party, sluts...

start thinking of an idea...

loves it

moon in taurus

this is so me it's eery:



Sexy and sensual, the Venus ruled sign of Taurus luxuriates in the tactile and sensuous. You are generally emotionally stable and strong, forming loyal bonds of friendship. Any change can be seen as a threat, as stability and continuity are vital, bringing a desire for traditional values and outmoded ways of being. Sometimes, a perceived threat can bring out your jealous side, as you will do anything to preserve what you already have. You are even known to test relationships to see if they stand up to a challenge. You just have to feel very secure! And you will put up with more than most, rather than give up at the first hurdle

don't eat me...