true lies

have you ever told a lie so many times over, that you start to believe it?

so many times, that this lie starts to become a part of who you are, and you start to forget where the truth ends, and the lie begins?

there's been something, nothing ground-breakingly important...fear not, but something that started out as somewhat of an "embellishment" and sort of snowballed into a full blown big-fat-fuckin' lie!!

every time i tell it, i think to myself; WHY ARE YOU SAYING THIS AGAIN????? but it's almost as if since i started saying it i can't seem to stop...

but isn't that what lying is all about? it's addictive, and once you start you just can't stop...and before you know it, you're telling it to everyone...whether you consciously do it or not...

but here's the hard part; how do you stop? once something has been engrained in your brain to the point where it's almost automatic, how do you put a halt to it? and worst of all...if found out, how do you recover from it?

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING TOTALLY ADHD AND COMPLETELY OFF TOPIC; what the fuck is up with people who can't handle what they feel????

is it an age thing? are younger lads just completely unable to handle and deal with their emotions????? a word to the wise, and to a certain someone in particular: when something you know you shouldn't be feeling gets the best of you...learn how to fuckin deal with it!!!!!!!!! don't be a pussy about it; just put it out there and decide what your heart/head is telling you...and react...

fuck