da club

i've seen this logo more often lately than i care to admit. and why would i be staring into da club so much you ask? well the answer to that is the source of my frustration these days.

i felt the need to adress my obsession to my readers, mainly for the satisfaction of my own selfish needs...but hey, it's my blog and not yours so there!!

but also, cause he's been on my mind (not to mention my lips) a lot lately...and i'm figuring that maybe putting it on paper, er on computer will make it better. oh,well...here goes;

have you ever met/seen someone and had them affect you in such a manner where they're all you can think about, and you find yourself doing abnormal things just to get their attention, (like hanging out in the mall relentlessly on your lunch hour in hopes of seeing them or of having them see you) and you fool yourself into thinking that if you put yourself out there just a little bit more then maybe, just MAYBE, they'll magically fall in love with you and you'll live happily ever after!!!

it all started one friday afternoon when cm boy stepped into my office and asked about me to one of my co workers. i then started this dance in front of the store hoping to meet him. which of course didn't work. then one saturday night the introduction happened, and digits were exchanged, and one little blonde boy woke up with a ray of hope and excitement across his face.

BUT, to no avail the phone did not ring...nor did it the next day, or the day after that. however, each time i run into this beautiful character, flirts are made and kisses exchanged. even pictures are taken, and dances are had.

SO WHAT'S THE PROBLEM????? this is why it's more frustrating than anything else. i think the reason i'm so hung up over this is that i feel that there's more to happen between him and i...and i keep doing this little dance because i'm trying to MAKE something happen.

but anyone who's ever tried to MAKE something happen, relationship wise, knows that it's impossible to force the stars to allign (in your favor) and make two people fall in love. it always happens when you least expect it, and when you're not looking for it.

i think i'm so crazy about it right now because, and i'm not trying to sound cocky or anything, but i don't normally go after something if i don't already think that it's within my reach. do you know what i mean? i'm not saying i don't take risks, but if i want something, i find a way to get it. in relationships and in life in general. if i want a rediculously expensive top, i find a way to buy it. no matter the cost, or repercussions on my credit limit!!

so what is there to do?? i can't stand just going out every week and TRYING relentlessly to force someone to fall for me...it's just not going to happen! and above all it's unhealthy...especially since i'm seeing someone ELSE!!

naughty, naughty, naughty...amanda, i think we're rubbing off on eachother a little too much!!!

*sigh*

it's hard being this bad...