happening

summer has sprung, but to me it almost brings a sigh of sadness to my breath...it's happening...to me, it's happening!! i have to pinch myself every now and then just to bring me back to my parent's basement!!

my courses are starting soon, and everytime i close my eyes at night it brings me one day closer to THE day that i have to pack up and leave.

i've been on a constant search for an apartment for what seemes like forever now, and it's been the thing on my mind that has had me most worried. but i recently actually found a place that just may be where i lay my head for the next year of my life...hard to believe, i know.

i was most concerned due to the fact that over the past three years i've created a certain type of situation for myself (having adopted two dogs) and i have been absolutely one hundred percent terrified that i wouldn't find a home that would allow such a lifestyle, and would basically be shit outta luck...seriously, i would rather not go to maine than not be able to bring my dogs. i know it may sound silly, but i'm dead serious.

these animals are my life, they're my children, my joy, my heart...and the thought of not being able to...i don't even want to type it...is just not an option.

but thankfully, i think i've found a place that will support the little lifestyle that i've got going...and i couldn't be happier...

so it's happening...i keep asking myself if i'm ready, and i'm not sure if i'll ever know the answer to that. is anyone ever ready to leave the land they have called home for their entire life??? when do you ever know these things are right? i've spent 25 years here with the assumption that one day i would pick my life up and take it elsewhere to pursue what it will become.

i've watched those close to me do it...and now suddenly it's my turn!! this is not necessarilly where i pictured myself being, this time last year. but i'm so glad it is.

i just hope i have what it takes to do it.