real

what's real? what do we consider important in life? why are these things important? do we lose sight of what's important as we get older? or do our ideas of what's important simply change with time?

remember the times when everything was fun and simple, and everyday was sunshine and roses??? well i do, why it was just this morning! why i'm feeling like sunshine and tulips right now, actually!! aren't you? you're not? well, how come? shouldn't you be?

well that's something that i have to realize...not everyone feels this way, atleast not all the time!! sometimes we have bad days, and we have down days when we'd rather just crawl into a little hole and sleep the whole nasty thing away! now don't get me wrong, i have those kinda days too...really! i do! but i usually reach, no RUN for a cigarette and a vodka martini when i get home, to make myself better! that and i try not to let them get the best of me! it's not always easy, and most times it seems easier to just curse the world in general and go outside and slap a little child to make things better...but that won't do anything but give you a big fine and a bad reputation as a child hitter!

honestly, since i was very young i can remember my father watching the news. everyday he'd tune in; in the morning for the recap of the night before, then at lunch for his midday update, then in the evening during dinner, then before he went to bed! that's four news updates PER DAY!! are you freakin' kiddin' me??? who needs that much information??? and what do they expect us to do with it???

it was because of him and his "news habits" that i believe i decided not to pay such close attention to the world around me. now i'm making it out to be a conscious decision that i made, to not pay attention and to not question society, but really it's just a GOOD one! do things always make sense to me? not at all, but i try to let those things go and simply don't question them.

so what's important to me? what's real to me? well, life is! living is! being happy is what's real to me! friends are real to me! relationships, love, sex, movies, music, simple pleasures, self-expression, dancing, having a good meal! these are things that are important to me! i don't always seek answers to questions in life, most of the time i don't even try to understand them! i try to be a very accepting person, and i don't think that i can necesarilly change the world. in my mind, if i produce positive vibes and energy, then they'll make me happy, and if i'm happy, then others around me will be happy! it's like osmosis, but with good feelings instead of knowledge! that's how i want to affect and change the world!! i could be like angelina jolie and run off to cambodia and become a good-will ambassador and help save lives, or i could start at the root...ie ourselves, and turn the problem inside-out!! if we start with ourselves, then the rest of the world will catch on eventually, right?

my love asked me; "why? and how can you not need answers?"...and well to that i respond "...just because..." now i know it may seem like a less-than satisfying response, but does it have to be? whatever will be, will be...and there's not always something you can do about it!! i don't always question the unknown like scully used to do, sometimes i'd rather be like mulder and just 'believe'...the world is a beautiful place, and life is too short to sweat the small stuff and let the depressing world events get you down. when you concentrate on what's good, how can you go wrong?

i guess it's the optimist in me that's speaking out on these things! i do have bad days, when i feel like maybe things aren't as bright and shiny as i may have thought them to be! but then i snap out of my funk and realize how silly i am being, and take a look out the window at the flowers that will soon be growing, and the bright stars that shine down at night, and i put on a bit o' bob marley, eat a cherry danish followed by a big bowl of buttery popcorn, close my eyes, and realize that little thing...is gonna be alright!!

so today's "joey lesson" kiddos, is to BE...be real, concentrate on the small joys that life has to offer, pay attention to world news, BUT don't be ruled by it, let some things go, smile at least 500 times a day, and and most importantly, and maybe you need to write this one down: live, love, laugh...sleep later!