dessert

so did you hear that my least favourite blonde pop-bompshell has come out with her own line of fragrances/make-up/beauty treats??? yes, jessica (dumbass) simpson has just released a 'cosmetic' line called "dessert". (*cough cough bullshit cough*)

there's (and forgive me if i heave) deliciously kissable sugar shimmer, mouth watering whipped body cream, pout-perfecting lip plumping candy, decadent body frosting, and other body-beautifying yummies. in 8 lusciously-lickable flavors like lollipop, cupcake, cotton candy and bubble gum.

check out the retard's entire line of products at desserttreats.com, but don't say i didn't warn you!!

so i haven't yet decided why i'm so completely baffled by the fact that the tard now has a 'beaty line' out. i mean when your career is on the fritz, what else is there to do? but i think it's just another chapter in the book that is my annoyance of hollywood (it's not a long one, cause i love ol' hollywood). but what's with all the DUBBLE DIPPING??? i mean, stick with one career motive!!!

it's just not fair. if you're an actor, stay in movies. if you sing, then remain a performer. if you're a twit married to mr. lachey, then stay home and make babies...no, just teasin. but, really! as soon as someone's in the public eye all they wanna do is make us go blind!!! they have to have their faces EVERYWHERE!! on the cover of magazines, albums, commercials, EVERYWHERE!! what's with all the singers out there becoming actresses??? why do they feel the need to make us be repulsed by them by shoving themselves in our faces all the time!!!

i believe it was jennifer lopez who first crossed over from movies to pop superstardom! and since her, the only other success story is my dear gwen. yes, mrs. gavin rossdale has been the only other successful candidate to actually SUCCEED in most areas that she's applied herself in; she's the hot ass front woman for my favourite band "No Doubt", she's now a successful solo artist with the recent release of her kickin' solo debut "l.a.m.b", she has her own clothing and accessories line titled once again "l.a.m.b" (short for Love Angel Music Baby) and she's just recently made her film debut as the fantastic Jean Harlow in "the aviator" starring leonardo decaprio. not to mention being handed the title of "artist of the year" by blender magazine, and being nominated for a grammy for "what you waiting for" off her new album (best single).

now i could go on about gwen for paragraphs and paragraphs, but that would lead me off topic. the issue at hand is how we've let miss (shoot me in the face) simpson get so far ahead in the world. now most of you reading this are probably wondering why i'm not on the simpson train, seeing as how i seem to enjoy all her blonde-poppy counterparts...but let's just say that jessica and i have just never clicked. no reason really, besides the fact that i consider her to be a flamming idiot...and coming from me, that's pretty bad!!

"dessert"...what was she thinking? mind you it sounds yummy...but i feel bad cause it's just going to prod me to make fun of her even more...and if i'm mocking her constantly, then others are...you should see the picture of her in the add?!? she looks retarded! like some playboy bunny licking cum off her fingers after doing the entire highschool football team...that doesn't make me wanna go buy beauty products...that makes me wanna go wash my hands!

grrrr, my point is that celebrities already have it good enough with their first chosen career choice! there's no need to double dip in the job pool! especially when you're already getting paid millions to accomplish your original goal!!

once again the only exception to this "joey rule" would be the lovely gwen, whose excellence will continue to astound us for years to come.

so ladies, and some gents, i appeal to you...don't purchase any of jessica's silly little products...she and her he-whore have enough income to keep their stupidity level at it's present state...and still get away with it...for any encouragement we give them might propel them to try and take over the world or something!!

a blonde ruler of the world...humph, well maybe if it was britney...