you make me wanna la la

i think it was last weekend when it actually hit me; we were at christina's engagement party, and it actually came to me...wow, i'm among the 3 only single people here!!

it was somewhat eye-opening, and sad at the same time...i mean there was MARRIED couples there??? a few of them, not just one or two, PLURAL married couples!!! and granted it was an engagement party, yes...but seriously though! you can't help but think; where did i take a wrong turn?

what happened along the way?? this time last year, i was knee deep in my 'summer of love' with a boy who i actually thought might be my "you-know-what"...and when that didn't work out...well, i'm not saying there weren't (failed) attmepts, cause there has been! there's been quite a few, unsuccessful ones, yes...but still attempts...

i think when we hit a certain age, we start seeing our life from a different perspective. a futuristic one. maybe it doesn't look the way we thought it might when we were in highschool. maybe we haven't hit that point that we assumed we would. maybe we haven't found that person we thought we might have...

and i don't know about you, but i'm almost happy i haven't! cause what do those people who seem to know all the answers have to look forward to??

i've just started to realize that we have to stop living by other people's standards. you're the only one who matters...and my big problem is that i've always let other people dictate how i *think* i should be living. when where i am is exactly where i should be. i've done everything right, and even though i may not be as progressed along my path as others around me, and even though i may not have a giant ROCK on my left ring finger, and even though i'm not living in some expensive apartment...THAT'S OK!!!! everyone's life is different, and i'm fuckin' ecstatic that i've done the things i have done.

so next time you rethink something because it may not be what you've seen your friends do, or when you rethink an outfit to wear out on a saturday night cause someone questioned it's coolness...just remember these words;

this is YOUR life...how do YOU want to live it?


gorgeous.