effect

so, how much i LOVE live music!!! i mean, i always have in a way, but last night while i was watching/enjoying the tsunami aid concert, i was struck by that feeling that you can only have when you're sitting there in an auditorium-type setting, full of people, all facing a lit-up stage, with sweet music surrounding us and coming at us full force from all directions!

there's a feeling of euphoria that comes from watching a concert! everyone's there for a reason, and they're all being touched in one way or another by the performers. you don't go to a concert in a pissy mood, it's not possible! it's not something you have to do, it's something you want to do! you can't help but be affected by it! all your senses are focused on that stage, and the music touches all five of them. it's a visual feast for the eyes, your ears ring, and you can feel it in your bones almost, you know what i mean?

it's probably one of the most emotional situations you can experience! you couldn't think of anything else, if you tried!!! most of the time, whether you actually enjoy what you're hearing or not, you can't even take your eyes off the stage for fear you might miss something!

in my opinion the test of a fantastic artist, is whether or not they could bring me to tears! i know that sounds completely arss-ish, but it's true! music has always been able to effect me in that way. whether it reminds you of another time, or makes you think of what's to come, it's nostalgic somewhat.

i grew up with music, my father used to do a radio show on ckdu fm, (the local indie station) and i remember sitting around the radio with my mom listening to his voice...and i remember it never sounded like him...my father has a 'professional voice' is what we used to call it; you know what i mean, it's like a manner of speaking that was different than his usual manner, that he put on in professional situations, and that was his radio voice.

we have a gutted out television at home, that now has his record player in it...and we're not talking some dinky old beater of a record player, it's a top of the line deck! it's his pride and joy, so much so that my mother and i were never allowed to touch it!! but he used to play us everything on that thing; from elvis, to reggae, to new wave, the cure, siouxsie and the banshees, kate bush, new order, the misfits, the stones, leonard cohen, crash test dummies, etc, etc, etc...to name a few! there was always music playing...i remember always coming downstairs and having some sort of melodic tune coming out of the living room, and there were my parents curled up on the coach, eyes closed, in eachother's arms...not talking or moving...just being...

heavy, eh?

but i'm convinced that's where my love of music stemmed from...i mean, as all my friends know, i don't usually go into a room without music playing...now, it's not always the most respected music playing, but it's music...my father would be so proud!!! just kiddin'!

for all of university, it wasn't exactly 'live music' i was into; my name's joey keefe, and i was a raver!!! there was nothing more sexy to me than a dj up there on those decks, totally into his style, pleasing the crowd, and doing everything for the reaction he hopes to receive. a dark room, packed to the tits with people, everyone jumping up and down to the beat, colors flashing from all around, and that different type of 'euphoria' that i'll never feel again...that USED to be my idea of paradise...but my, how things have changed...

was it just a phase? i used to think it was a way of life...but after i came to my senses, i realized it's not...that beat will always exist in my heart, but unfortunately it's now accompanied by negative conotations...thoughts and feelings of a time that i never want to revisit, and a feeling in the pit of my stomach that just won't go away with the thought...

there's pictures i keep for some reason that i never want to look at again. i wish that i could look back on 'those days' and be filled with the nostalgia that i get when i hear an old elvis song, for instance, but i almost feel that i ruined it somehow...and it'll never be like that...those weren't "the good old days". and i'm happier for it...never have i regretted what i have done, but there are certain traits that exist in me, for which i blame 'those days'...but what doesn't kill us, only makes us stronger, right? and so it did...

now my tastes are different...and it's the actual music i crave, the type that's produced by talent, and someone's own two hands, not from a digital recording device...no, that's being a little harsh, but you get my drift!

music makes the world go round...but that's a huge generalisation. it's funny how one of the most important people in my life (you know who you are) doesn't live his life that way. music is definitely part of him, but not in the sense that it is to me! and i love that! i learn much more from him that way; about politics, and just the world in general...and i try to enlighten him by opening him up to some of the simpler things in life, music being one of them!

what do you think?