dear mr president,

i'm a naive and bubbly 20something who originally reigns from canada, nova scotia to be more precise, who has just recently taken up (maybe temporary) residence in your fine country. Maine is my state of habitat for now, and i simply must open up with a congratulations on what a fine job you and the people of maine have done in keeping up the fine standard of this self-proclaimed "vacationland". i've begun to appreciate it's beauty and self-respect and am proud to call myself a temporary U.S. resident.

although before i send you off on your 'high horse' there are a few things to which i would like answers. simple naive querries to which i hope you will be able to provide answers that reflect just 'why' you were put into power in the first place.

* first of all, i would like to know exactly what the rationale is behind maine's licence plates?? there just isn't any consistency to them; some have 3 letters and 2 random numbers, others have 2 letters and 3 random numbers...and then others have a sequence even more boggling! what gives??? i come from a 'not backwards' province whose licence plates have simply 3 letters and then 3 numbers. consider this one professional curiosity, due to the fact that i work for the registry of motor vehicles in ns.

* secondly, i've noticed that almost every house i come across has an american flag proudly displayed on their lawn. where do you think these grand gestures of patriotism come from? and what exactly do you think YOU personally had to do with these feelings of patriotism? now don't get me wrong; i come from a country (your sister country in case you forgot) whose citizens proudly TATTOO our nation's flag on our bodies...so i'm no stranger to patriotism. but i'm more interested in your thoughts on why YOUR people might feel proud to be a part of this country...and if any of these such reasons might involve YOU, mr president?

*• thirdly, and on a tad bit more of a personal note, WHERE ARE ALL THE GAY PEOPLE??? and what exactly do you have against the marital union of two such homosexual people under the law of the united states of america. true that i may be living in a bit of a more rural area in maine where gay people might be more of a minority here than in other parts of your fine country and the 'drought' in my kind might be due to a smaller population in general...but couldn't it also be partially due to the fact that your disapproval of 'my kind' might have forced certain of us to flee your fine country in search of a land where we are better accepted, and our human rights are acknowledged right up along there with our ‘straight’ counterparts, and where the RULER/person in power isn’t such a one-sided prejudiced and forgive me for saying since- it- puts- down- a- term-to-which-I-consider-myself-a-part-to NAÏVE man?!?

And as a ruler of a land whose entire existence seems to be based on “freedom of speech” and “good will” how dare you openly put down a way of life that actually epitomizes the values to which your country is based upon?

• and lastly what do you plan to do to convince/connive the people of your country into believing that you will actually start doing something good for this country instead of continuing to run it into the ground as some believe you have been doing, when it comes time to either give you the boot outta office or (hopefully not) reelect you back into power?

I’m just curious to know…

Sincerely,
A proud can-(temp) American

Ps the photo at the beginning of this letter is merely eye candy for my readers…I never thought you might derive any pleasure from seeing ‘angel’ naked in the tub…that would be against your morales, wouldn’t it?