blondes have more fun

so the doors to work have been open for only 6 minutes this morning, and already i've had 2, count 'em 2 compliments on my hair!!! first tony, (the cute straight man i work with) who asked me where i get my hair done, due to the fact that he's thinking of getting blonde highlights soon too. and then another cute young man (a customer this time) asked me the same thing!! all in the span of like 10 minutes!!! now i'm not tooting my own blowhorn or anything, actually i'm more surprised than flattered...especially since i didn't do anything special to it this morning!

but then it got me thinking; if my hair were currently brown, it probably would not evoke the same reaction that it does when it's blonde!

now coming from someone who's hair's been every color under the rainbow (well not every color) i must say that i have always been partial to blonde. so the saying is totally true in my opinion; not only do blondes have more fun, but they ARE more fun!! now it's not a cry-out for attention or anything, even though we all know i'm sometimes a whore for it, but i've been a brunette, a redhead and i've even had black hair...and i must say that when i'm blonde, that's when you turn the most heads!!

there's something about a blonde that just catches the eye. not that they're more attractive, but it just draws attention!! whereas darker colors tend to fade into the background. you can see a buxomous blonde coming at you a mile away!! what's funny is that i don't normally find blondes attractive (hence my brunette of a honey), although i must say that brad pitt as a blonde totally turns my hardcore crank!!

but as the weather changes, so does the hair color...there's just something about being blonde in a snowstorm that doesn't quite work...

i do

have you noticed recently the rising number of stars OUR AGE who are getting ready to wed? avril lavigne, nicole richie, paris hilton, pink, christina aquilera...and the average age of these people is what, like 23?!? is this all of a sudden appropriate for people to get married at such a ripe age? is marriage suddenly dare i say, trendy??

personally i find it just hilarious that all these people are friends too!!! and they're all about the same age. what did they just wake up one day and all decide they want to get married...then all they had to do was find some poor schmuck to propose, and what, a new trend is born?!?

my parents got married when they were 18 years old...crazy, eh? and they're still together. yes, my tree-huggin'-hippy-earth-lovin' parents are still in love...isn't that cute? but sad as it is to say, i don't think that "paris and paris" will be joining my parents as part of the statistical group that stays together.

and on that note; isn't it just typical hilton behaviour to find/fall in love with someone who shares the same frickin' name as you??? (for those of you who don't know, paris hilton is currently engaged to paris latis; a greek shipping heir a few years her junior...fuckin' hilarious isn't it?? and he's greasy too, and not greasy in a good johnny depp way either)

personally i love the idea of getting married young...sure it's not for everyone, and i don't think that it's completely necessary to carve one's relationship in stone (like the idea of marriage suggests) if it's just not your cup of tea...why just look at goldie hawn and kurt russell...they have what, like 3 kids together. and they've been 'TOGETHER' for like 15 years...and yet there's no ring on either one of their fingers! isn't that interesting? well good for them, i say.

as for you little trend pimps out there (that means you nicole richie)...this is just one instance where you're going to have to pass the "i did it first" torch and admit...that britney did it first!!! even if all your dirty/skanky husbands-to-be don't even come close to being as repulsive as hers is...

wait, is that a good thing?

sugar coated

recently i have come to the realization that my love for dj's has never weaned. it's been alive and well inside me all these years, just waiting for it's revival!! whatever happened to it? was it on hiatus during my pacifico/bar star stint? why the resurgance all of a sudden?

misstress barbara, dj lafleche, anabolic frolic, paul oakenfold (god), paul van dyk, carl cox, john the dentist, miss honey dijon, ferry corsten, dj collette, angel alanis, angel moraes, dj feelgood, roger sanchez, micro, john kelly, dj dan, bad boy bill, deep dish, mark farina, jamiroquai, bassment jaxx, daft punk...i could go on forever!

trance, house, drum n' bass, techno, speed garage, jungle, breaks, happy hardcore
ELECTRONICA

not saying that my wee pacifico will ever really get old in my eyes, it's always a good starter-bar...but i think it's just that maybe the tunes there been gettin' a tad tired. GIMME SOME FUCKIN' BEATS, brotha!!!!!!!

NICE ONE BROTHA!!!!!! nice one brotha!!! NICE ONE BROTHA!!!!! nice one brotha!!!!!

i've seen more dj's live than could sink a ship!! i've dosed, i've tweaked, i've grooved, i've sang, i've mashed, i've shimmied, i've bounced, and i've lived to tell the tale...

now tell me, honestly...when's the last time you shook it?

shocking urban legend

so i was reading up on my legends last night, and came across one that i found particularly disgusting;

so a woman found herself in desperate need of a quick tan. asking around she found that each tanning salon's maximum session for the day was 20 minutes. thinking she found a way around the system, she decided to visit each salon in town every day for about a week in hopes of getting a dark tan as quickly as possible. after a few days she discovered that there was an awful smell emanating from her body, and no matter how many times she bathed, she just couldn't seem to make it go away. she decides to visit her doctor, and finds out that the uv rays from all the tanning beds had actually begun to melt her insides, and she only had a few days to live...hence the nauseating smell...

isn't that gross?

summer of

LOVE, friends, SEX, drinking, beaches, patios, sunshine, tanning, dancing, music, new york, montreal, hotels, hostels, clubbing, shopping, drugs, working, swimming, pools, lakes, pooches, visits, good times, pacifico, reflections, self-tanner, blogging, movies, skinny-dipping, CORONA, flip-flops, uggs, cowboy boots, naughty-office-party 2005, birthdays (renia), sand, warm weather, black eyed peas, mc mario sun factory 2005, balcony naughtiness, the commons, smoothies, exercise, exhibitionism, late-nights, parties, debauchery, horse-back riding, soy-ground-round tacos, popsicles, photos, digital camera videos, downloads, porn, lubricant, numbing cream, getting tied up, skimpy clothing, going commando, meeting parentals, kissing, mini-golf, mini-getaways, rolling down hills, picnicing, taking adventures to places you've never been, riding in airplanes, smiling uncontrollably, speaking french, laughing, dance parties, destroying freezers, chemicals, good food, coasting, people-watching, maxin', relaxin', sleeping naked, avoiding housework, hippy feet, blonde hair, bermuda shorts, recycling, composting, peein' puppys, energy drinks, spending money, boat cruises, being dirty in the commons, sunglasses, fun hats from the 70's, being creative, singing in the shower, adrenaline, concerts, bands, dj's, playing in the sun...

whew.

summer breeze

ahhhh, summer daze...that certainly depicts the mood these days...and god do i love it!!!

there's no better season, is there? the high temperatures, the rooftop patios, the hot sun, the scantily clad people...what's not to love???

the birds have come back to visit, everybody's got a bronzey glow (whether they want it or not!!), the flip-floppy sound of flip flops can be heard for miles around, everybody's showing off their tattoos, and did i mention the scantily clad bodies??

i'm even love with the word...SUMMER!!! doesn't it just bring beautiful images to mind??

i love how everybody's much calmer during summer...hardly a care in the world, everyone just seems to be going about their merry way...except for the people who visit the rmv on any given day...but we're not complaining...besides, it's too nice a day out to argue...

♪go do something fun♪

things i love about summer...

ahem...

1. waking up to the sun shining through my bedroom window.
2. waking up next to the man i love, with the sun shining through my window...
3. wearing flip-flops and sandals, and swearing off socks until the cold weather returns.
4. that first time of the year when you dive into the pool/lake/ocean, and you feel the water rush over your skin.
5. the silky feeling of a cool breeze over your skin on a hot day...that metaphor was blake's, so i can't take complete credit for it's sexiness!
6. the beach; plain and simple. i love the sand, i love the surf, i love the view, i love the people watching. but if i had to pick one particular aspect, i'd have to say the sand is my favourite; there's nothing like feeling sand trickle through your finger tips. i used to hate when my feet would get wet and the sand would stick to them...now i love the grittiness of it all!
7. how the sun stays out so much longer in the summertime, and seems to always be there; it's there when we wake up, and it only sets just before the day ends.
8. going for late evening walks when the air is still warm, with just a tinge of crispness.
9. being able to hang out OUTSIDE in general, and not be cooped up indoors all day and night.
10. getting a tan, and shedding our pale winter skin for a bronze summer glow. (or in my case a sometimes-orangey-beta-karotene-fake-n'-bake-kinda-stain).
11. enjoying a cold beer (mmm corona) on a patio somewhere downtown on a hot sunny day...
12. sunsets and sunrises...can't get any better ones than summer ones...i think it's got something to do with those pink skies!!
13. and last but not least; one of my favourite things about summer is being able to wear as little clothing as possible!! now don't get me wrong, i LOVE clothes but being able to wear minimal restricting clothing and get away with it in public is totally sexy and enthralling!! board shorts, a lil' t-shirt and flip flops is my official summer wardrobe of choice!!

a joey

many a friend have traveled the world (for business and for pleasure). i've seen my peeps visit ireland, denmark, france, germany, rome, egypt, even the states!!! and one thing that has always remained a constant factor in their travel stories is "A Joey".

what do i mean by A JOEY you ask? i mean that when they go away, they always manage to meet A Joey substitute, therefore becoming their "denmark joey", or their "european Joey"...a wannabe joey, if you will; someone who embodies Joey-like qualities and who reminds them of the REAL joey they left behind in halifax.

now before i go any further, i'm just going to state the obvious right now: there's only ONE joey in this world! and i'm sure you can all vouch for me when i say that the world is better off, for it simply couldn't handle more than one!

has anyone ever said something to you like "oh my god, i met your twin while i was away!!" or "i met someone exactly like you on the other side of the world"??? personally i find it almost insulting when someone says that they met someone EXACTLY like me...for it casts doubt on my uniqueness as an individual!!

and what exactly does it take to be A Joey?? what qualities are in question here? would it be my sometimes-annoying-often-addictive-laugh, or perhaps my joie-de-vivre, or maybe my optimistic point of view?? or it could be my other, not so attractive, make-you-wanna-curl-up-and-cry qualities they speak of...but i'm not gonna mention them here, cause it's my blog and not yours!!!

but all in all we're unique!! we may possess SOME qualities that exist in others, but never forget; you are your own person!! just kiddin', but seriously...if ever you need your ego stroked a little bit, or if you're thinkin' that you might just be a little TOO normal...just remember:

♪no one likes you...i mean, there's no one like you!!♪

neigh neigh's

so picture this, my mother, her gay son, and his lovely boyfriend all tucked away in the wee keefe volkswagoon golf, on their way to the farm to ride us some horses!!

it was definitely a first for yours truly, and one i can't wait to do again!

i used to ride horses when i was a lad, and i actually became quite good at it too, but when poor christopher reeves (r.i.p) fell off his horse and broke his neck...that was the end of my life as an equestrian...until saturday!!!!

so we ventured out to hammonds plains...which might i add is waaaay more in the boonies than my drunk-prom-date-ass remembered!! (we went to hatfield farms for our after prom party...hence the drunkenness!!) and there we met our horses: blake had Ranger; a brown and white lil' fella who tried unsuccesfully to knock my lil' honey off the saddle once or twice. my momma had Winnie; a gorgeous dark brown lil' guy with a white star on it's muzzle, who reminded me of "Sorry" one of the horses i used to ride as a tot. and i had Casper; who was mostly white (fittingly) and was quite the little piggy, due to the fact that he kept trying to eat grass and other random greens along the trail. all in all the ride was exceptionally wonderful with many a memories formed! we almost broke out into a trot, but blakerson's stirrups were too long and for fear of falling off, we/he digressed. although my mother, being the sneaky lil' lady that she is, kept slowing down and stopping completely so that she could then catch up with us by trotting quickly...isn't she bad???

i've always been fond of horses; probably stemming from their depiction in fairy tales as the mystical creatures they are! and i knew growing up that i desperately wanted to ride them. horseback ride them, that is...i even used to call them neigh neigh's...

isn't that cute? ahem...

fetish

all over the world, including our little metropolis of halifax, every now and then you hear about these fun little costume parties called "fetish balls", where you come dressed up as your favourite fetish. they're world renowned as the masquerade ball to end all masquerade balls, where freaks, geeks, and kinks can come together in a celebration of the things that get them off!

i've always been intrigued by the idea of attending one such ball; not only would i find it a fascinating study into the hidden psyche of the human race...but also because i think it would be just plain HOT!!!

fetishes and kinks are a part of what makes up our sexual identity. some of us embrace them, acting on them and enjoying the thrill they can provide, others keep them 'tied up' deep inside our subconscious, never letting them out 'to play'...how we act on them is a personal choice, but i emplore the ones who can put them out there and enjoy them. now while there's a line that must be drawn between what's an acceptable display of such fetishes, and what's just down right inappropriate...i wont dictate what that line may be. what i'm interested in is the ways that people explore them in a safe and healthy manner...and one that's as kinky as possible!!

any reader of savage love knows just what kind of person is out there, and just what sort of kinks exist. basically, take the most sick and perverted sexual act you can think of, and you can almost guarantee that there's someone out there who's into it; let's explore some examples shall we: well there's the obvious fetishes that we all know about (the ones that are almost too mainstream now that don't really shock you anymore when you see it depicted as a topic of discussion on "the view") such as leather, bondage, domination, submission etc, etc, etc. but what about the darker ones; like the guy out there who gets off by looking at pregnant women? that's a little kinky, isn't it? what about the person who has a diaper fetish? what about DIRTY diaper fetishes? or golden showers? or people who enjoy being shit on!!!

i mean anything you can think of, no matter how demented it may seem to you...i guarantee you there's a website devoted to it!!

now fetishes are a form of fantasies, right? and fantasies are socially acceptable. so can fetishes ever be considered wrong? obviously the ones that go against society's laws should be considered a tad bit tabboo, and well obviously any involving children or animals should be unheard of...but if a fetish is more or less safe, and both parties (or all parties) are willing and eager, and no one is hurt (against their will) can we really descriminate against what gets someone off???

and even if our kink is a bit more vanilla than someone else's raunch...who are we do descriminate against them? as long as it fits into the aforementioned categories (ie safe, not involving puppies...) then why can't we just live and let kink?!?

that's why i love the ideas of a ball that celebrates the uniqueness of everyone's sexuality! if someone wants to come dressed in a kinky clown outfit, or someone else wants to come as a corpse...then so be it!

do you have a fetish? personally, i've always been into spandex...now don't judge, but there's always been something about it that has always made me so hot!! now i know it's a privelege and not a right...but in the bedroom, anything goes...am i right? and i know that the idea of restraints is a tad bit vanilla by today's standards...but the idea of being restrained and blind-folded while your partner(s) are free to perform any kink they want on you...my, my, my...

is it getting hot in here or is it just me?

how i spent my summer vacation...

well it would make sense for me to write this entry in french, but currently i am sitting at the greeter's desk at work, and my little page that tells me how to type accents is at my other desk!! so english it is!! plus more people will be able to read it if i type in english, so it's a win-win.

well blake and i hit the city of montreal, and we hit it hard!! (definitely left our mark...and lot's of money too!!)

let's recap shall we; we did old montreal, (probably one of my favourite parts; between the architecture and the scenery and the mere beauty of this part of the city which remains so well preserved and upkept...there's nothing like it), we did little italy (definitely defined by it's steel gates, and it's winding stairways leading up to it's italien style villa buildings), we did china town (very different than the china town in new york; but more quaint and less abrasive).

we visited the basilica of notre dame, (yes the buiding where celine herself was married...it's probably the most breath-taking church i've ever seen, defined by it's fine detail/craftsmanship and the fact that every square foot of the basilica is hand-painted. despite my not being the tad bit a practicing catholic, i still lit a candle in the basilica for someone, it was a sweet idea!

we hit st. josephs oratory, built by st joseph himself...it was situated atop mount royal in a quaint little neighbourhood called cote des neiges (which blake and i decided would be our neighbourhood of choice if and when we decided to move there.) it had the most beautiful view of the whole city, and if you're downtown montreal you can look up and spot the cross that sits atop the highest point on the oratory. there's also st. joseph's tomb that you can visit down below, and let me tell you it had the most calming atmosphere inside. that place was filled with such faith, you couldn't help but feel touched by the dedication that you can feel emanating from those walls.

we also hit la ronde; the amusement park owned by the same people who own six flags. every month they have a different country come and put on a pyrotechnics/fireworks show for the visitors of the park, and let me tell you i saw disney world fireworks and they had nothing on la ronde's!!! basically it was a performance, with music that was designed to almost narrate the fireworks!! it was definitely the highlight of the trip!!! they were the most beautiful and dazzling display of fireworks we had ever seen!!

among our other activitys, we visited the museum of modern art and saw some fuckin' trippy art. one that sticks out in our minds was this strange cylandric-like apparatus, that looked totally shabby and unfinished from the outside. there was a sign written by hand on the outside that said "walk-in and close the door". being absolutely terrified as to what might happen whilst on the inside from having done too many drugs in my lifetime (just kidding) i hesitated at first. but as soon as you walk in to the pitch black little room (maybe 2x3 feet)the whole thing lights up, and old style victorian music starts playing super loudly...let me just say, it was fuckin' crazy!!!! was it art? that's another story...

and ofcourse we hit some clubs...and one strip club...accidentally, of course!! it was weird, cause the average age for some of these clubs is 18, so the crowd was pretty young...too young at one of the clubs...but that didn't stop us from having a rockin' time!!

so there you have it folks, montreal at it's finest! for those of you who've visited before i'm sure you understand what i mean when i say how cool it was, and for those of you who are montreal virgins like my honey was...

i'll be happy to pop your cherries too!!

:)

batman

for every generation, there is a hero...for some it's superman, for others it's the incredible hulk, but for ours it's BATMAN...

what began so many years ago as a simple marvel comic strip about a man haunted by the memories of his past, who stalks the night in a bat suit avenging the death of his parents, has evolved into a film and franchise legacy that has surpassed all it's previous expectations.

many have doned the mask and cape; from michael keaton, to val kilmer, to george clooney...but this time around...it's someone new...you may recognize him from such movies like the sleeper hit "american psycho", "newsies", "swing kids", and even "a midsummer's nights dream". he who i speak of is christian bale, and let me tell you...he IS batman...

never has there been someone who embodies the batman i remember from the original strips as much as he. when i think of batman...christian bale has become who i think of. from his dark brooding features, to the tortured look in his eyes, to the fierceness in his brow...to his fuckin' wicked physique, might i add...he's the best choice EVER!!

watching the newest addition to the saga, (which tells itself in a prequel form) i almost wish they had never made any of the previous movies...but the fact that they have, and the fact that everyone watching was comparing it on some level to it's mediocre predecessors...made it 50 times more exciting and enjoyable!! there's many tie-ins, and inside details that only true batman fans will be able to pick out. it's very subtle the way all the details come together.

i hear that they're starting over completely!! they're going to basically remake the last few batman movies, but in this new and improved style!! (so stay tuned).

batman has always been my favourite superhero. not only is he my favourite, but he's the overall BEST. you put him and ol' spidey in the ring together and he'd wHoop spiderman's ass a hundred times over!! just look at those toys!!!!

consider also the superhero factors that make him better: billionaire playboy by day, bat by night...he's got more toys and gadgets and high-tech who-zits to sink a ship...the BATMOBILE...hello, enough said...and he's got the most anatomically correct costume of them all...which obviously has it's perks!!

so why has the legend of batman survived all these years?? not only has it been movies, it's been tv show, cartoons, action figures...the list goes on!! one things for sure, batman ain't going anywhere!! he's got staying power, just look at the actors that signed on to do this movie; gary oldman, morgan freeman, michael caine...even lil' miss katie holmes is on board!

the audience is continually moved by the story of bruce wayne, it's tragic, romantic and action-packed at the same time. batman begins keeps the integrity of the comic book story, but splices it up with a new dark side to the dark knight...we learn more, and more is definitely revealed to the back story of this intriguing character.

the darkness is definitely one of it's selling points, completely demolishing the fraudulent glamour that joel schumacher had adopted in the last few flicks. so if you're a fan...GO SEE IT!!!

♪enjoy♪

fake n' bake

shouldn't it be bake n' fake...instead of the other way around? cause really when you think about it, you bake first...then by baking in a fake manner, you end up fakin' it...right?

have you ever considered why having tanned skin is so desired? what is it about having a little bit of a glow to your appearance that society finds so alluring? and it doesn't even have to be a real glow. it can be sprayed on, rubbed on, pasted on, burned on...even tanning by osmosis in those silly little tanning beds with fake uv rays is considered beautiful!

is it merely an esthetic thing? let's face it, having a tan looks healthy. the skin looks alive and radiant, and full of energy.

think about it, when the human being orgasms there is an increased level of blood flow to the face, causing one to blush uncontrollably. this 'blush' is the natural reaction the body has to being turned on, therefore it makes sense for us to be attracted to someone with color. the female baboon's bum becomes engorged and turns a bright shade of red when she's in heat, therefore allerting all the male baboon's that she's in her prime.

so as you can see, even the most primitive primates are attracted to color in some way, shape or form. we've just taken it to the next level!!

in my opinion having tanned skin reminds everyone of summer, and since we all make such positive associations with summertime, it's no wonder we all enjoy having a glow about us!

so i guess in conclusion we can sum up that having a tan not only reminds us of everyone's favourite season, but appears healthy, and brings us back to the way we appear during sex...

does that cover everything?

♪get out there and enjoy, people! surf's up!!♪

tommy lee

so i'm currently reading tommy lee's biography, titled "tommyland". and i must say, i'm completely taken and intrigued by him! not only do i find him completely sexy, but i now (amidst his prose) find him completely and 100% fascinating!!

for all you tommy-neophites, i'll lend you a bit of back-story info: born thomas lee bass in athens, greece in 1962 he was raised in a california suburb by an american father and a greek mother. at the ripe young age of 17 when we were just getting over puberty and trying to get used to exams and our raging hormones, tommy joined a band by the name of motley crue, and they became one of the baddest-ass rock bands in history. along with fellow band mates nikki sixx (...) the sold over 40 million albums, wreaked havoc, married porn stars, lived large, shot drugs, and truly became the figurative embodiment of what was meant by the saying "sex, drugs, and rock n' roll".

in the mid 90's, he married someone you may or may not have heard of, by the name of pamela anderson, with whom he had two beautiful boys.

he's since toned down his hard-knock life and begun to concentrate on creating the best life/environment for his two growing boys (both 10 and 11 now), but not before gathering his share of scare-the-shit-outta-you tales, tattoos, scars, and jail time.

amongst his titles he can happily claim "bad-ass fuckin' drummer", poet, author, and spiritualist (having turned to budhism during his 4 month stint in the slammer for a numerous of felonies, including spousal abuse, illegal gun posession, and parole violation.)

today he spends most of his time either taking care of his boys, or in his studio where he's now working on numerous solo projects, after leaving motley crue for irreconcilable differences. he's currently single, after 3 failed marriages, although he still remains close with heather locklear (#2) and ofcourse the mother of his kids (pamela).

so for those of you who read my blog/actually know me, know that this is the second consecutive autobiography that i've read recently, the first being jenna jameson's (who i have a profound love and admiration for; brianne i still have yet to see the feature film that you downloaded of hers...make sure to save it for me, cause i gotta see my girl in action again!!) and recently i have found myself asking, why??

for some reason, i find weakness alluring...all these people who have more emotional scars than the average bears, i find their stories fuckin' fascinating! i can't get enough! more specifically, i love the stories from the people who came from absolutely fuckin' nothing, and got fucked 3-ways from sunday and still managed to come out on top of their game...they hit rock-bottom, went around the block a few times, and then succeded!

maybe it's success stories that i enjoy...look at drew barrymore's tale! she published "little girl lost" when she was 15 (i think), it was her story of being a child star and how she lost everything due to a cocaine and alcohol addiction at the age of 9-13...and after rehab she came out a bright shining star!!

just like drew, tommy had a hard life, and definitely had a few stories to tell! the tortured artist, who has so many skeletons in his closet that he'd scare away casper!!

and in case you're wondering, "tommyland" refers to the amusement park that pamela had built for his 33rd birthday; complete with side-show performers, rides, sword-swallowers, and his very own freakshow!! it was a place that was to remain his, where he could go to be on his own and be in complete solitude, surrounded by things that he loved.

isn't that nice?

so i urge you all to pick up his book, or atleast borrow it from me...i guarantee all you rockers out there will not be dissappointed, and don't worry, he hasn't lost his edge with age...in fact it may have gotten worse!!

stay tuned for more details as i read on!

la douleur exquis

aujourd'hui dans l'honneur de notre voyage à montréal, j'ai eu l'idée d'écrire mon entrée en français.

le français c'est officialement mon langage secondaire. j'ai eu mon diplôme bilingue dans l'école secondaire, et puis après ça à l'université de st. mary's j'ai pris le français comme mon sujet d'étude. puis après 4 longues années j'ai encore gradué avec mon certificat d'étude en français.

le français était toujours la language d'amour dans mes yeux. c'est un peu séduisant, pense-tu? je pense que c'est parce que c'est une des plus belles languages qui existent aujourd'hui; les sons, et l'accent, et le façon que ça roule hors de tes lèvres...l'espagnole est une autre qui me fait plaisir d'écouter/entendre. c'était l'autre que j'ai toujours voulus apprendre, mais l'opportunité n'a jamais élevé.

alors mon chérie et moi s'en va à montréal le semaine prochaine, puis je suis TRÈS excité!! moi et christina et eilish ont visité la belle ville de montréal quand nous était 18 ans; c'était nos premières expèriences 'downtown' car on était si jeune! quand je le considère maintenant, on était seulement des enfants...alors ça va être spéciale cette fois d'aller et puis voire comment la ville à développer au cours des dernièrs 6 années!

**je m'éxcuse si mon grammaire et un peu atrosse, mais ça fait longtemps que je tappe en français**

j'espère habiter une ville similaire à montréal un jour...peut-être montréal-même...j'ai toujours penser depuis j'étais un enfant que je voudrais habiter une ville large...plus large qu'halifax.

l'autre raison que je suis excité c'est parce que c'est le premièr congé que blake et moi va prendre. je suis si en amour avec lui, puis je peut plus attendre partir d'halifax, seulement lui et moi, pour aller congé au ville d'amour!! tee hee, je blague à propos du ville d'amour!! mais tu sais ce que je veut dire. on a beaucoup de plans; on va buver beaucoup, aller danser, on va à La Ronde, et on va visiter des musées d'arts!!

ne vous concerner pas, je vais prendre BEAUCOUP de photos pour documenté le voyage!

espérer moi bonne chance, et bon voyage!!

beaucoup de baisers,

♪monsieur keefe♪

faery tales

do you have a favourite children's story? you know the type that your parents used to read you when you were little(-er). one of them belonging to the brothers grimm, perhaps? what about one of mr. disney's originals?

i'm talking about fairy tales!! cinderella, snow white and the 7 lil' men, hansel and gretel, the 3 little pigs, beauty and the beast...everybody knows the ones!

fairy tales have been around since the dawn of time, (or so it seems). we've built societal norms around them, morales have been formed from fairy tales, and some of the first lessons we learn are from the stories that are read to us as kids.

they've been told, retold, remixed, redone, twisted into filth, and dissected to the point of being almost un-recognizable! why the fascination? has time ruined them and society warped them, or do their initial meanings still hold true and intact?

did anybody see "freeway"? it was a modern retelling of little red riding hood, starring a super young reese witherspoon and keifer sutherland as a perverted psychopath who's performance still makes me nervous. reese plays a white trash teenager who leaves her abusive-trailer-trash family to stay/visit with her grandmother after her mom's arrested for prostitution. unfortunately on her way there, she hitches a ride with 'the wolf' (played by kiefer sutherland) and ends up almost killing him after he tries to rape her...this was based on little red riding hood, right? i don't really know why i enjoy it so much, seeing as how it strays so far from the original concept. but i think that's what i appreciate so much about it.

i find it funny how much we dwell on the whole fairy tale concept; you know the whole prince charming riding up on his white horse to rescue the damsel in distress concept...do you think we're all looking for that in life? are women just really looking to be rescued? and are men looking to be their white knights??

i think we all seek a little fairy tale aspect in life, don't you? maybe not as cut and dry as the princess and the white knight scenario, but we're all looking for a happy ending, aren't we? i guess we can say that the fairy tales we read as children are the basis for what we look for in life! is that too bold a statement? they teach us our first valuable lessons, and they teach us morales. for examcple, if it weren't for beauty and the beast, we might not know that appearances can sometimes be deceiving...if it weren't for pinnochio we might not know the ramifications that a lie can have...and if it weren't for snow white, we might think it inappropriate to be friends and live with short little dwarfs in a kinky sort of way and to eat apples from decrepit old ladies we meet in the woods...

well maybe not the last one...but you know what i mean...

have a happy ever after...

private school

i heard on the radio the other day that i think it was 85% of people who attend private (all one sex) schools, graduate with a more comprehensive understanding of study tactics, and are better equipt with the necessary skills needed to enter into the work force.

now i've always been somewhat opposed to private schools; not only do they seem over-hyped and yuppy, but in this day and age they're almost obsolete, aren't they??? i mean let's examine the mere concept, shall we: all boys/ all girls schools take something out of the socialization process in an attempt to better the education/concentration levels of their students. and that something is boy-girl interaction.

so kids grow up in a same sex environment, in class, in gym, at lunch, etc etc...and when they graduate from highschool/middle school after being exposed to only same sex kids for basically their whole life...they have what? positive views on the opposite sex?? i doubt it! they're going to graduate as salivating youths, with only one thing on their mind, and only one thing they wanna do!!

in my opinion, a young teenage boy who's only known and socialized with other boys his age, will grow up objectifing women, and treating them as such. that or they'll end up gay!!!

now obviously, being who i am i don't have any problems with the latter, but the former is a tad bit more controversial! it floors me that people still enroll their children in private schools where they're only exposed to other children of the same sex for the entire education process. how can they really be developing if they've never even shared a class with someone of the opposite sex??

and consider the way they'll be acting when first put in a co-ed situation, such as university classes or something; the boys will be so over-run by teenage hormones they'll barely be able to keep it in their pants, and the girls will be walking around town with their skirts over their heads!!! not only will the risk of un-safe sex be ten times higher, but the level of self-respect that these kids hold for eachother (not to mention themselves) will be at an all-time low...sex will be the only thing on their mind. and i bet you the date rape rates among these kids are higher than the norm too. do you know what i mean? basically if you grow up only seeing women or men in magazines, and in a sexual manner instead of viewing them in a plutonic manner, you're societal views towards the opposite sex will be completely out of whack.

now compare this to the situation of co-ed schools; boys and girls grow up TOGETHER, experiencing things and learning them TOGETHER. boys will actually grow up with girls as FRIENDS, and view them as such, and not merely as sexual objects. their relationships with the opposite sex will also potentially be stronger and more advanced, seeing as how they've been around them all their lives!! and the idea of increasing their scholastic success by diminishing the outside distractions may actually backfire, due to all the pent up sexual frustration that they feel (ie blue balls) due to the lacking presence of females/males in their lives that is keeping them and preventing them from concentrating on their studies!

all in all parents should be able to decide what they think is right for their kids education, and what environment would be most suitable for their success...but i just hope they plan ahead a little...

i mean if you were a parent, where would you want your kid to go??

the skinny

so as i picked up the latest US magazine this morning, i was struck with a feeling of slight dismay as i saw my (should-have-been) best friend, lindsay lohan, looking even more waifish than usual on the cover.

now as much as i shouldn't be phased when i see the sudden ramifications that hollywood can have on the health/appearance of it's younger members, seeing as how i see it every week, i was particularly taken aback when i saw lindsay-crack-whore-lohan gracing the cover of not one but TWO trashy magazines this week, both sporting headlines like "EXTREME DIETING" and "WHY SO THIN??"...US also featured Lohan's pal Nicole Richie, who has gone from pleasantly curvy while starring in 'the simple life 1&2' to now looking frail and unhealthy...

so when someone my size starts calling girls in hollywood "waif-like", you know there's something wrong...now, don't get me wrong, i love my body and those who know me know that my petite-ness cannot be attributed to under-eating...(i tend to eat like a cow) i enjoy blaming genetics for my heroin-chic look, where as the girls in hollywood have nothing to blame but the heroin itself. but COME ONE...lindsay, you look DISGUSTING!!! if you can count your ribs through your back, there's a problem. i wish i could post a picture of her on this blog so you could get the whole effect, but instead the next time you're in the super market glance over the magazines in the check-out line and you'll see little 'miss heroin chic' herself. and she has the gaul to say (and i quote) "compared to other actresses my age, i'm actually overweight. there are so many really, really thing girls out there..." i'm sorry; OVERWEIGHT?!? how coked out were you when you were caught saying that, lindsay??? come on, have some respect for yourself sweety!

we all know that hollywood deals in the business of being thin, there's always a pressure to be the perfect size 2, and look your best...blah, blah, blah...but when is enough, enough? the problem is that these young girls (case in point with lindsay) are entering into this business full-on, head first, with no safety net...and they're getting swallowed whole!! it sucks them in, and spits them out a shadow of their former-selves. we've seen it happen time and time again with child stars, HELLO paging drew barrymore!!!! where's cory haim right now? or cory feldman? or that kid from the terminator movies?? where's macauley caulkin today??? the ones who aren't strong enough to resist the temptations of hollywood or to remain true to themselves and not fall prey to it's pressures will end up in betty ford, puffing away on menthol's, eagerly awaiting their next hit of morphine.

is thin still in?? haven't we come far enough in the 21st century to overcome these absurd notions of the way the media thinks we 'should' look? and is it all worth it? we're damaging our bodies trying to attain a certain state...and for what? for whom? if it was for our own personal satisfaction, that's one thing...but if we're slaving away on tread-mills trying to lose just another five pounds because anna nicole and the people at trimspa told us to...that's just wrong!! so how are we going to get away from this way of thinking?? will we ever stop striving for perfection, or atleast the medias perception of what 'perfect' is/should be?? and when will "beautiful" not be that strung-out, dark eyes, sunken features look? and how this is too thin??

the answer is virtually unatainable! because beauty, is in the eye of the beholder, and always has been. the unfortunate thing for miss lindsay is that the younger you are, the more vulnerable you are to the influences that your surroundings have to offer...such as cigarettes and drugs (both apetite supressors). and i have it on good authority (remember that kate found lindsay's wallet in new york stuffed with 2 grammes of cola inside) so i know that she's not just 'eating better' and 'working with a trainer' or any bullshit like that...that girls falling prey to the same pressure to be thin that karen carpenter felt just before she became anorexic. and she's on her way to crack-whore-dome...well maybe not so seriously...but you have to see the picture of her, and then you'll understand.

in life you have to be content with the way you look, and it's easy to look at the latest issue of marie claire with gwen on the cover, and long to look like her...is that ok? in some ways. should we resort to drastic measures to attain that look? absolutely not. it's easy for the people in hollywood to feel pressured to be thin, and it's also easy for us to think we NEED to be thin to fit-in....but it's simply not true...we have to be content with ourselves first, and the rest will follow...

now lindsay, if you're reading this, keep in mind that i'm still a HUGE fan...i'm just worried...i know what it's like to feel the pressure to be thin and beautiful...that's why my mom warned me to stop doing crystal and binging after every meal...


i'm totally kidding, by the way...it was my dad, not my mom...

i throw my toys around

have you ever asked your parents if you've ever actually really matured from the time you were a child, till now?? like, in our our eyes we hopefully see ourselves as a tad bit more mature, intelligent, boisterous, industrious and plain old 'smarter' than we were when we were younger...but i can't help but wonder; are we really??

how many of those childhood characteristics do we still harbour? and if given the chance to come out (and play) would we allow them to? do we ever really give up the bad habits (whining, complaining to get what we want) that childhood has bestowed upon us? and if some of them still linger, when do we finally bid them farewell?

now i'm not talking about the peter pan complex of not wanting to grow up or anything like that, but the more subtle traits...for example; throwing temper tantrums, whining, throwing things. but not just bad habits, what about the not so shitty ones like security blankets; if not the literal ones, what about a toy that we've hung on to over the years and clutch under the covers at night when we're scared? i'm sure we've all got some sort of surrogate blanket, am i right? what about cartoons?? what once were a childhood source of amusement, with age have gathered some sort of cult following and taken on a deeper more psychadelic significance...you know what i mean...

now it's redundant to even think that we haven't made any progress since we were kids, but it's interesting to consider what traits have hung around all these years! do we all have a little child inside of us who knows what tricks to pull to get their own way?? are we just kids in adult bodies, or has the personality and the mentality that lurks inside us grown up aswell??

personally i know that i still encompass many of the traits that i posessed as a child; for instance, i still throw my toys around, i still whine (ocassionally), and i enjoy getting my own way...HOWEVER, i also know the difference between right and wrong, and i can now take into account other people feelings when making decisions...two things that most children do not posess until they get older!

but (and i use work as an example, cause i know we've all seen the crazy tards who come into our offices on a day to day basis acting like children) there are people who publically act like children to get what they want, even as elder adults!! what is it that makes some people think that acting like babies will allow them to get what they want, even as full-grown adults?!? it's ludacris, really!! but when you think about it, these people really haven't changed that much since they were kids...and chances are the way they treat you (a complete stranger) is probably a good indication of how they act at home (and towards the people/family in their life) and probably an even better indication of how THEIR kids act, and their kids after that... and so on and so on!

but you can't change people, the best you can do is try and shrug it off and be happy you've grown in the manners that you have.

and the next time you speak/see your parentals, ask them! did you turn out the way they had hoped?? have you learned from the mistakes you made as a child? and how many of the charactersitics adopted from birth, do you be-grudgingly still posess? cause let's face it, no one's been around as long as your parents have, right?

i know my parents are proud...they are, really...no, seriously...

the other side of importance

so amid all the star wars hooplah, something else of equal importance, debuted last night...am i the only one who saw it? really?? "britney and kevin: chaotic" premiered last night...and it was fantastic!! seriously! i loved every second of it, and can't wait till next week!

basically the premise behind it, is that the show (hour long feature, might i add) is a collection of their home movies, detailing their (short, but spicy) courtship! what's intresting to watch though, is that this is britney when the camera's aren't rolling! it's her (and him) at their most natural and unguarded! obviously there's A camera rolling (or else we wouldn't be able to watch anything...dur!!) but most of the time it's britney's little hand-held camcorder, just going around and documenting some of her "onyx tour", and basically just her and kevin goofing around!

now for those who don't gobble up every issue of US weekly, this may seem like something less than entertaining, but i really must say, from a completely unbiased point of view that the shows got merit!

far from it's "newlyweds" counterpart-twits nick and jessica, britney and kevin are the raunchier pair...filming eachother in the shower, talking outright about how many times a day they have sex, even discussing britney's own favourite sexual position (shhh, i'll never tell). she's uninhibited, smokes on camera, and isn't afraid to look a little sloppy...in layman's terms; SHE'S NORMAL!!! it's encouraging to see this side of a celebrity who (some/most) of the time (tries to) look(s) glamorous!!

there is an on-going interview with britney throughout the show, which acts as a balance between the home-shot videos that dictate the rest of the show, making it viewable and not nausea-causing a la blair witch! i must admit when the show first started, i was thinking to myself; man, she's a retard!!! but then i clued in to the fact that she's acting exactly like i do when i'm with my friends...she's silly, goofy, and totally off-the-wall!!

now i know that we've all had our beef(s) with miss spears...she's dissapointed me time and time again, but then surprised me and won me back! her and i's love will never falter, and i'm even thinking of putting her picture back on my phone...but anywho; she's just a girl, trying to live a life in the public eye, building herself a lil' ol' southern style family (she's got quite the twang to her voice) no matter what the cost! we read about her crazy antics weekly (can't help but pay attention), and we build impressions and judgements on these glamorous people...most of them incorrect due to misleadings on behalf of star magazine...so we owe them (the celebs)the courtesy of making it up to us...and they do so by starring in their very own reality shows to set the record straight!!

so don't worry britney, you can make it up to me for as long as you want...and i promise, from the bottom of my heart, that i won't judge your skeezy-good for nothing-gold-digger-smelly-bum of a husband...anymore...

hmm, i feel better!

tell bit-bit i say 'hello'!

meet the parent

well kiddos, something verrrrrrry different (but colosally cool) happened last night...a certain someone met the maker, well my maker that is...and when i say a certain someone, i'm referring to blake meeting my parent. the mother, the lady who brung me into this world those 24 years ago, who spat me forth from in between her legs (eww), who raised me, who nurtured me, who cradled me in her arms, and who first introduced me to pot...seriously...

it all went down at the fireside, (a neutral location) where the three parties were having drinks (martinis), he had a banana split, she had a black russian, and i had a chocolate monk...it was good...

it all went out with a bang...the conversation flowed like crystale champagne out of a flute at p. diddy's crib...they laughed, she cried (just a tear), and then they walked home...

i couldn't have imagined in a million years that it could have ever happened like that...i wish i wasn't the only witness...to such a lovely rendez-vous...a meeting of the minds, shall we say...where he met my maker...

so keep your eyes peeled for a happy mother, lurking around the city...she's out there, be warned...

8mm

if you could be in a specific genre of movie, which type would you choose? or have you ever thought about what category of film your life would fit into, simply based on it's day to day events? or if your life were it's own reality tv series, would it be a hit, or a miss??

personally if i could choose i'd definitely choose to play in a scary movie...preferably a victim...i've been a fan of horror movies and suspense thrillers since i first started watching movies. i think it all stems from the fact that i've always been fascinated by what frightens people. (and that sounds somewhat dark, but i mean it in the lightest of ways). fear is intriguing, and being able to play on those fears is sexxy!!

i think being in a scary movie would be so much fun; running for your life and screaming and acting like you're in peril, all the while being chased from a fictional killer!!! too exciting!!

i'd get to have my own death scene!!! eeeeek! just having all that adrenaline built up inside of yourself, would be all consuming! don't worry paris, i'd totally make you proud...hey stop chuckling, her death scene was killer (no pun intended) in house of wax...she got a spear chucked through her skull!!! rawk on, dude!!!!

if my life was a movie, i'd have to say it would probably be a cross between an erotic thriller...hot...and a dark comedy...and that's not just wishful thinking either my friends!! tee hee!

have you ever considered the idea that your life is actually being televised 24/7 on some public broadcasting television network??? and that the 'strangers' you meet on the street at random may actually be actors hired to confront you in new and exciting ways??? and that those crazy customers you serve on a day to day basis, are actors hired specifically to get a rise out of you? and that there's audiences out there who tune in every week to see what KrAzY things you get yourself into this time???

ever see "edtv"? or "trueman show"? or like on candid camera...only with no discovery of the hidden camera at the end of the 'prank'!!!

if you could have a hidden camera in someone's house...anybody's house in the world...in who's would you put it??? intriguing thought isn't it? i've spoken about voyeurism, and society's fascination with it before...ie reality tv..etc etc, but i believe this last notion has brought it to a whole new level...can you say "stalking"???

personally i know exactly in whose house i'd put my hidden camera...

i'll give you a hint...

she has a dog...

smash

well that seems to be the magic word today, to describe everything in my wee lil' world right now!!
allow me to elaborate:

the birthday was a smash...
i was also smashed on friday night...
i then woke up to be smashed (mentally) on saturday...physically too, seeing as how my resistance to the germs floating around in my vacinity has failed me...
i then resumed my "smashed" state on sunday, and i'm guessing the mimosa i had with eilish at lunch didn't help...nor did the coffee, and red bull i then poured on top of the gumbo in my stomach...
and finally today i physically had to rest in bed longer than my schedule should have allowed...no more, let's put it that way!! tomorrow it's the early bird that gets the worm...

so my poor wee brain is feeling more smooshed, than smashed today...and i refuse to pump myself full of those shitty over-the-counter cold meds...instead i decided to throw some moola away on good ol' echinacea (eeek, as my father used to call it) and advil...

can i take some more yet??

and did i mention it's harley's birthday today?? my first born's turning 2 today!!! wow, how time flies, eh? so i bought him some chewy snacks and a fun little wobbly toy! i hope he likes it!! i may put a candel in some of his dog food tonight and blow it out for him!! we'll see how it goes...

okay, i'm tired now...wish me luck that i feel mucho better by tomorrow...


i need a hug...

24 candles

well 24 is off to a running start (*knock on wood*) seeing as how it's friday the 13th...the puppies made no mess during the night, i managed to catch my bus (almost missed it, had to run a red light, but i made it), it's sunny outside, and i just received a lovely quaint little birthday message from the man i love...so i'm doing good! (*knock on wood*) no need to tempt the fates!!

last night was the celebration with the parentals; we were gonna class it up and hit "il mercato"...but then i decided i'd like to do a movie...which movie you ask? well since no one (absolutely no one) would come and see "house of wax" with me, i decided to con my wee mother into coming with me!! so instead of il mercato we ate at jack aster's and then saw the early show of 'house of wax' and then went back to their house for birthday cake!!!!

now on to the important details: paris' performance!!!! well let me just begin by saying this; we all know how much i loooooove my sweet long lost sister Paris. so get this, guess what her boyfriend's name was in the movie????? BLAKE!!!! isn't that just fuckin' funny???!!! so besides the life like resemblances between her life and mine...pause for comic effect...i was very impressed by her performance. she had probably one of the best death scenes (see paris die) although she's not a very good screamer. more like a screecher!! AND she gets to die wearing red lingerie...lucky her! fortunately for us, we don't get to see her get turned into wax...unlike some of the other characters...it's less than appetizing let's just leave it at that!!

so her career and my birthday are off to a flying start!! 24 candles will appear on my birthday cake tonight, after a lovely dinner with my honey, followed by a night of martinis and red bull...

wish me luck, and a happy birthday!!

birthday suit

birthday's have always struck me as intriguing...well maybe it's the way some people view their birthday's that i find so interesting. take me for instance; i've always loved birthday's!! absolutely adored them!! why it's the one day of the year that you can be totally and one hundred percent selfish/vain/and all around self-obsessed!! and there ain't anybody on this planet who can say anything!!

now at the risk of sounding like a narcissist, let me just say that i don't exactly agree with the idea of showing off just because it's your birthday, but there's nothing wrong with expecting a little love and affection and gifts *ahem* on that special day!! cause let's face it, there's no other day in the year that celebrates JUST you!! and it's not like christmas when you feel a little guilty looking forward to all the presents, cause 'we're just adding to the commercialism aspect of the holiday'...birthday's are a celebration of little ol' you!!! so shut up and enjoy it!!

now i know everyone has an age where they'd rather stay...you know that whole peter pan complex about never wanting to grow up...but let's face it, it's inevitable!! why fight it?? and most of all, why fight the party aspect of it?? some people are like "i don't want a party...", "it's no big deal..." blah, blah, blah...if you can't fight it, you might aswell embrace it, right?? what's the B.F.D??? you're getting older, and you can't fight that, so you might aswell enjoy the party, huh??

so that's the frame of mind i've always adopted!! it's my day, and i'll be vain if i want to!!! just kidding! my point is that birthday's are a time of celebration, and should be enjoyed to the fullest...even if it does mean we're getting older!

seriously though, there's even places you can go that'll give you something for free on your birthday!! like free dessert, or free cover! so the freebies alone are enough reason to enjoy your birthdays! throw in the constant attention, and the gifts, and you have the recipe for a honkin' tonkin' good time!!

so on the eve before my birthday i bid all the other taureans out there a happy one, and i hope that all their birthday wishes come true...especially the sexxxy ones...

close your eyes

a VERY, VERY, VERY big week is under way kiddies!! can you guess why???? let me give you a hint; a certain someone is turning a certain something, on a certain day...

any takers?? NO????? come on, this is an easy one!!!

it's my birthday on the 13th, sillys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
friday the 13th, at that!! something funny happened yesterday, actually; well not funny per se, but it depends on the way you look at it! so when i woke up yesterday, i realized that my mirror (the little hand one i use to see the back of my head with) had fallen off the dresser and broken. so at the superstitious thought of having 7 years bad luck, i convinced myself that since it 'fell' throughout the night whilst i slept, that it had nothing to do with me and my personal luck! THEN, as i was balancing yesterday morning, i came to the sudden realization that my birthday is on friday the 13th this year!?! it hasn't been on a friday since i was (ironically enough) 13!! so again, with the bad luck...AND THEN, one of my customers yesterday's total came to $666.25!!!!!! eErIe, eh????? but then again, i was born on the 13th of the month, so it can't be that bad, right?? actually it's always been my LUCKY number, ever since i can remember!

but the fact that all these things happened on a monday morning, was just the icing on the cake!

so regardless of the bad luck yesterday, friday is still my birthday, and i couldn't be more excited!! the big 2-4...maybe i should drink beer that night...hmmm, i was thinking of having it be a complete trash night...like drink colt 45's, and wear trashy clothing...what do you think?? actually 24 sounds kinda cool, doesn't it? even though it's a year closer to my scary age...(25). ahhh, growing up...we're supposed to be getting wiser with age, aren't we?? tee hee!

in other news, yours truly will be participating in a little bit of hypnotism this morning, in t-minus 75 minutes...and i coulnd't be more nervous!!! i don't really know why, i guess it's more anxiousness, or would that be anxiety...whatever! i googled 'hypnotherapy' yesterday, just to see what i was getting myself into, and get this; the doctor isn't exactly going to hypnotize me to become a non-smoker, rather he's going to hypnotize (man that's a hard word to type) me to THINK like a non-smoker! so that when the option arises to choose to smoke or not, i'll be ABLE to CHOOSE NOT TO have a cigarette!! just like the way a non-smoker chooses NOT to have one! isn't that crazy??

i doubt there's going to be any "you're getting sleepy..." and "when you hear a wind chime you'll cluck like a chicken..." or anything like that. and supposedly it only takes like 15 minutes...15 friggin' minutes and i could be a non-smoker???? what's up with that? where has it been??

so needless to say, i, aswell as all my friends who are sick of being smoked out, are excited to have me be done with that nasty habit...so is my debit card...

so wish me luck, cross your fingers, god(s) speed, and do 'er up!!

a tale of a VERY, VERY big city

well kiddies, i have returned. i apologize to all my loyal readers for not checking in sooner, but for those of you who did not know, yours truly was on a MUCH needed vacation!!!

where to, you ask? well me and melissa hit the big apple, and hit it hard! yes, new york, new york was our destination of choice...and let me just say it was a good one!!

lincoln center, empire state building, chrysler building, central park, madison square garden, madison avenue, china town, little italy, union square, 5th avenue, park avenue, the plaza hotel, the sex and the city tour, times square, the west village, soho, noho, (and yes it is a real place) tribeca...WE SAW IT ALL, LADIES AND GERMS!!!

it was the trip of a lifetime! seriously, new york is like nothing you've ever seen!!! there is such energy, life, pizazz, kick, flair, style, chaos, insanity and sheer craziness emaninating from that city it's not even funny!! there's so much to do on any given day, it's almost hard to decide what TO do, and WHEN to do it!! which is what stinted us sometimes; we got in one mindset, and then we just had to figure out what the best order was to accomplish everything!!

so in the end, we did miss a few things; we didn't get to go on the staten island ferry, which sepposedly gives you a fantastic view of the entire city and of course of lady liberty!! but i already saw her once, so it's all good! and we never did hit any museums, which kinda sucked cause the guggenheim would have been amazing to visit; they have the original 'starry night' from davinci...which i've always been a fan of. we did make it to the doors of 'the met', but they had closed about an hour prior to us arriving...but oh,well...can't win 'em all!!

i'm sure new yorkers can spot tourists a mile away: all they have to do is look for the people with their heads up in the air!! so needless to say, i didn't try to hide it for the first few days we were there!! but you can't help but look-up, your eyes are immediately forced upwards to take in all the amazing feats that lay in front of you and all around you!! that city is so populated that it has no where else to expand, but up!! so buildings just keep getting built higher and higher! and believe you me, we had a birds eye view of a few of them; namely the empire state building, where all three of us experienced a bit of ol' vertigo, followed by three mild panic attacks, and a much needed cigarette atop the 85th floor!! yes kiddies, 85 floors up, high above the rest and atop the clouds is where we stood!! unfortunately we decided to save this trip till the evening, so our pictures didn't turn out very well, but you can imagine the view.

i must say that that city sucks you in and immediately forces you into a certain frame of mind. it's obviously not for everybody, but you can't say that there's not at least SOMETHING in it for everyone!

the first thing everyone has been asking me about my trip, is if i got the chance to catch any broadway shows while we were there, and unfortunately we didn't. but when there's that much to do in any given day, we didn't feel like we missed out on much! besides the tickets were like a hundred bucks for standing room only, so we didn't want to take a chance on having some tall dude standing right in front of us!!

for the clubbers out there, dig this: we got on the list for this elite club called "duvet". and for all you sex and the city fans out there, just try to remember a certain bar the girls visited called "bed", and you'll get the idea. actually, it IS the club from the show, just by a different name. so you walk in and everything's completely white, and beyond posh looking. but the main attraction is that there are these beautiful beds EVERYWHERE!! and i'm not talking like sketchy dirty stained beds either, they were like 100% cotton, beautiful white beds. so you step in and basically kick off your shoes and dance all over these beds! it's fuckin' crazy. they have like satin pillows, and these beautiful trays for you to rest your drinks in so they don't spill all over the place. then you go downstairs to use the bathrooms, and first of all they're all unisex in new york...gender is becoming more and more obsolete, i tell ya! so the boys are ushered over to one side to pee in these trophe-like things, with a waterfall that basically washes it all away. but the scary thing is that when you turn around the wall that separates you from the rest of the bathroom (which you thought was just a mirror) turns out to be a two-sided mirror!! so you can see out, but the rest of the bathroom can't see in!! talk about major stage-fright!! and the toilets are the same way!! you can see out, but they can't see in! so you think that everyone can see you pee!! so you see all these drunk people coming right up to the door (thinking it's just a mirror) and like checking their teeth, and fixing their hair and shit!! fuck it's funny!!

they even give away free slippers at this place with 'duvet' printed on them, so needless to say kate snagged melissa and i a pair to comemorate our trip!!

fuck i could go on and on forever about new york, but honestly words don't do it a lick of justice! you really have to experience it for yourself!

so in closing, let me just say, that it's definitely not for everyone; what with the noise, the constant commotion, the garbage and the public urination...but if you look at it from another view; that being that it's the land of the free, that there's so much diversity and culture there, and that the energy is all-consuming and reason enough to visit...then you're guaranteed to have a fantastic time! and well if you have your own private tour guide (like we did with our beloved kate) well then you've got it made!

new york...there's truly no place like it!



i heart n.y.

hpnotiq

ain't it funny how when you're looking forward to a certain night/event for a certain amount of time, and there's so much emphasis built up around it, that when it actually unfolds (even if it's everything you wanted it to be and more) you can't help but feel a little bit of an anti-climax??? and it's a terrible feeling to have, because you shouldn't be feeling sad...and it's not really a sadness but more so a feeling of relief mixed with a bit satisfaction.

that was sunday, so monday was a bit of craziness at work: crazy trainees and bitchy customers!!

so today, being tuesday, i'm going to do something a little controversial; as i'm sure some of you know, yours truly has been suffering with smoking for a few years now. i've tried almost everything from the patch to the gum, and still i feel the urge to light up every now and then.

not nearly as much as everyone else, although that's no way to compare an addiction, cause an addiction is an addiction!! fact of the matter is, is that i want to quit, and i need a little help doing it.

so, today i'm off to see doctor parsons; a general practitioner who also dabbles in hypnotherapy. now for all you skeptics out there, you can all stop giggling; i've known numerous people who've resorted to this to obliterate their bad habit, and they've come out on top!! msi will hopefully pay for it, so what have i got to lose, right?

now today's simply a consultation appointment, to see if i'm a considerable candidate for hypnotherapy. valuable candidate? i know, i was a little perturbed myself. not only have i waited a month just to get in to see him, turns out i'll probably have to wait ANOTHER month just to have the procedure done!! but if there was no consultation involved, then i'd probably doubt the legitimacy of the whole thing!! so now basically i'm going to have to convince him of my dire need to have this done!!

i've never been hypnotised before, besides that one time at the buskers (like a million years ago) when it didn't work...but that's only because i was young and silly and found it hard to even concentrate on what's real in life, let alone what's being propelled upon me by a complete stranger!! besides the guy was a hack!!

i recently saw a movie about a hypnotherapist who becomes involved in a kidnapping investigation with the police, and i just find it intriguing!!! it just seems so awesome that with a slight bit of subliminal encouraging, the brain's addiction to nicotene could be overwrought!!

so anyways, wish me luck! and cross your fingers that i don't come out of it clucking like a chicken every time someone claps their hands!!

christina 4 eva

a week brews with much excitement, but shadowed by unexpected melancholy, hinted with a feeling of lament, and the memories of a lifetime of adventures.

the end of an era, which began at a highschool dance with me bolting out of the crowd like a dublin whore from a church, (fueled by half a pint of captain morgan's dark) which flowered into a love like no other, and the greatest friendship anybody could ever fathom.

she's someone from whom i find it difficult to remember the time before, who has graced our lives with a warm touch, and seen us through more trials and tribulations than any companion should.

her name is christina, and there will never be anyone else like her...

passing time brings with it new experiences, and new options to move forward. and it just so happens, that her new experience is awaiting her somewhere else. i remember growing up, and wondering if EVERYONE eventually moved away from their place of origin? when you hit a certain age, you begin to wonder what else is out there...and to consider what life would be like somewhere else...leaving 'home' is such a frightening concept, because we put such importance into this idea of what 'home' means to us. but it's like i told her; (and forgive the ick factor in this cliche) but home really is where the heart is!! we have all made halifax our 'home', but who's to say that we wouldn't be just as happy (in the right circumstances) over yonder?? the reason i know that she'll make it, is because she gave away her heart a long time ago, and now it's time for her to build a new home around it...

leaving is never easy, no matter what the case. and in miss chrissy's...it's probably going to be traumatic. we selfishly almost wish that she hadn't been such a good person, and such a dear friend...so that saying 'goodbye' wouldn't be so hard. but in the end it's just geography that will separate her from the dear ones she's left behind. we're all still going to be in the same world, even though sometimes it may seem that we're many worlds apart...

you know when you've found that special someone who'll be forever in your heart...it's like they become a part of your soul, your being, and you know that nothing can change the way you feel towards them. no matter how far away you are, or how long it's been since you've spoken...it's the one thing in life where time really has no place, and that's in a friendship...

memories are our best source of the past, because no digital camera can illustrate the images we hold in our minds of the times that are dear to us. and i feel so blessed to have the memories of the times that we've all shared as a group. and i can only hope that she takes the good ones aswell as the bad with her...and never forgets...

so farewell to you, not goodbye...know that you will truly always be...but a phone call away, and in my heart...christina 4 eva...

the big apple

well it's officially two weeks and a day before melissa and i board the plane for our official trip to New York City. (and i never use caps, so you can imagine just how excited i am to have put the extra effort in to show just how colossal i think this city is/will be.)

over dinner last night (it was my momma's birthday; the big 47) we were discussing how many times we had visited this fine state/city. (this will actually be my third visit). the first time was while either on the way, or on the way back from new hampshire. namely old orchard beach was the main point of that trip (camping in the states with my hippy parents), and new york was merely a stop over. but a fantastic one nevertheless. and the second time was an actual trip, where we spent 2 days touring new york city while on the way to florida!

now if you want to get an idea of just how "hippy" my parents are, get this: while they were touring new york city B.J. (Before Joey) when they were younger, they got lost somewhere along the way, and being late at night and with no hotel booked they ended up parking their car on the side of the road and sleeping in it!!! the next morning, (yes they survived the night) they woke up to find two old men standing outside their car yapping away!!! turns out (thankfully) they were in a residential part of town where a lot of old folks lived, like a retirement community! the two old guys outside asked if my parents wanted to come inside and use their facilities to get cleaned up and everything! and being the flower children/tree-huggers that they are, they happily obliged!!

isn't that fuckin' hilarious!!!!

now i don't think melissa and i will be having any 'on the side of the road' type experiences, but ya never know!!! don't scare her anymore than she already is; let's just say our hostel is a little bit sketchy...no, i'm just kidding! it can only be SO sketchy on the upper west side, right?

so two little haligonians are headed for the big bad city! what tribulations and adventures await us? you never know!! it's funny how i've always been fascinated/obsessed with the energy that's generated by new york! you know what i mean? like, the people who live there, love that city, the people who visit love the city! there's something there for EVERYONE! there has to be, right? otherwise it wouldn't still have the buzz that it does!

even watching sex and the city this morning, i was struck with the realization that in 2 weeks...i'm going to BE there!!!!! MADISON SQUARE GARDEN, CENTRAL PARK, TIMES SQUARE, LIBERTY ISLAND, BROADWAY!!!! it's all going to be at my finger tips!! and the best part of it is, that instead of wasting all our time there trying to figure out the subway system, and the way the avenue's work, we have our own private tour guide!!!! kate's there to show us around, and for those of you who've heard my stories of her ny adventures, know that she's met ALL the right people!! from club promoters, to musicians, to models!! she's definitely got the In on the skinny!!! can you dig it?? so i'm totally eager to see what she has in store for us. melissa and i are going to go crazy...how could you not in new york, dude????? ABSOLUTELY NO ONE knows us there (besides kate and her friends, who we've pleged an allegiance not to embarass) but other than that, i'm talking going up and saying strange things to strangers, yelling obsenities at clubs (only little obsenities, don't wanna get kicked outta any clubs), shopping till we drop...etc, etc...

so for some, new york may seem a little overwhelming; the lights, the noise, the pollution, the intensely-high population per square mile...it's definitely a little crazy! but all that doesn't matter up against the energy, the color, the excitement, the sensory overload, and the sheer giganticness of life there!! (is that a word?) it almost sounds like too much to handle for one meer halifax boy, such as myself! but you watch, we're gonna conquer that city, just you wait and see!!

more details and shot by shot reanactments to come.

stay tuned!

quiz show

so i don't particularly enjoy those little quiz thingys that we all receive in our emails somewhere down the road...so i thought i'd take it upon myself to make up a really, really, fuckin' really crazy one to scare the pants off kids and chain-maillers for years to come...here she blows:

feel free to cut and paste and send it on to other perverted children all over the world!!

1. what hair color do you wish you could getaway-with/have?

- i've always enjoyed a blue-black...you know, like a black color with a blue-ish tint...or blonde with baby-blue highlights.

2. what piercing have you always been curious of having?

- well when i read about prince albert piercings, a chill always goes through my body...plus i saw it in a porn once where the dude had one, and it was fuckin' sick...not natural at all, i even had to stare at it for a few seconds, before i realized what it actually was!! so i'll say the nipples, no matter what some people say, i think it's beyond SEXY!! i once slept with a guy who had both done, and it was hot...he loved having them tweaked...

3. where have you always wanted to have sex, but never have?

- i'm thrilled by the thought of having sex outside...i always have dreams of having sex in public places, with people watching...but not in an "eyes wide shut" kinda way with masks or anything...but in a totally normal setting. blake and i almost had sex in the commons coming home from the bar one night...man, i can't wait for the warm weather to cum...ahem...

4. what would be your ideal threesome? dead or alive.

- me, elvis, and smith jerrod from sex and the city...

5. what do you wear to bed?

- just my boxer briefs, or boxer briefs and pajama pants/hospital pants.

6. favourite sexual activity? (be creative, use details)

- honestly, and i'm being totally serious, it's kissing! i could get off just by kissing every time. i think it's the most natural act involved, and it's always completely satisfying. you know you're set when you've found a good kisser...never underestimate the power of a good kiss. hence why i got my tongue done; to increase the pleasure behind my smooch!!

7. if you had to have sex with someone of the opposite sex (or for all you heterosexual types out there, someone of the same sex) who would it be?

- i'd fuck drew barrymore, hands down...no doubt about it, then we'd hold eachother and cry together all the while talking about daisies and butterflies.

8. if you could change your name to anything at all, what would it be?

- Paris Trix, no wait; Mr. Fantastic...no hang on, Maximillion Black...or maybe Kingsley Brightside...

9. if you could live on one planet in the solar system, no matter how inhabitable it may be right now, which one would it be?

- venus...the planet of love...i do believe it's the taurus' planet too actually, so it fits. that and the fact that i enjoy the name, and sailor venus was always my favourite anyway!

10. if you could do any drug in the world and be guaranteed to have a good trip, just once, and not become addicted...which one would it be?

- well obviously the big H...although i'm a little scared of needles, (which is ironic coming from someone with 6 tattoos) according to "trainspotting" it's probably the most intense rush you could ever fathom. but i encourage you to read "trainspotting" because the first shoot up scene irvine welsh describes makes you wanna heave...and if you've ever thought of doing it, you'll definitely think again!

11. if you could have any sort of pet in the world, what would it be? (domestic or non-domestic)

- i think i'd have a horse, i used to ride when i was younger, but my parents forced me to stop after what happened to christopher reeves. i miss my ponies!!!! if not a horse, then maybe a panther...sleek and sexy.

12. what job would you DARE to have...not dream to have, but DARE to have?

- Go-Go dancer...all the way! be all oiled up in hot pants on stage, dancing and girating to the sound of cheesy dance music! god, my mother would be proud!!

13. what day of the year should be considered a holiday, that isn't?

- besides my birthday, you mean? just kidding...halloween, for fuckin' sure! it's by far the best day of the year, besides the symbolic meaning associated with it (feast of all saints) there's the obvious idea that it's the one day of the year that you can dress up exactly as you like, no holds bared, and totally get away with it!

14. if you could live in ANY city in the world, fallen or still standing, which one would it be?

- new york baby, new york!! the big apple, otherwise known as the most exciting city on the planet!!! melissa and i are heading down that way in only 17 more sleeps till we tear that city up!!!

15. which one of carrie, samantha, charlotte or miranda, are you most like?

- i'm totally a carrie.

16. if you could star in a specific genre of movie, what would it be?

- i've always wanted to be in a horror movie...and not like a psychologically scary movie, but like a slasher flick! a la wes craven! to run for your life and let out a few blood-curdling screams would be a fantastic tension release! drew barrymore said that after filming "scream" she spent a week covered in blood, and all that screaming was the best therapy sessions she's ever had!! nothing like a good scream, eh?

well that's it for now kiddos, hope you've enjoyed your little peek into the sometimes perverse, often fascinating psyche that is 'me'!

and like i said, feel free to pass this little survery along, with your own sexy little answers in the blanks.

kisses.

following

so i rented a movie on the weekend, titled "the following", it was about (or is about, seeing as how i haven't finished it yet) a man who becomes obsessed with following people around the city (i assume it's new york, but not sure).

now as this may seem like the introduction scene in any ol' porn flick, it's precisely the opposite! he doesn't follow these people around in a sexual manner, but simply because he's interested/fascinated by PEOPLE in general.

so he follows close to people, always staying out of sight, never following the same person twice...simply to see where they go!! not wanting to see where they live or anything, or with the hopes of peeping through windows, simply to see where it is they're off to!! as the movie unravels, he ends up getting caught by this one bloke who turns out to be a thief! (he breaks into people's houses, not with the intention of stealing things, but simply to fuck with them by taking like ONE earing, or by planting panties in the drawers of a couple living together to stir up their relationship! he says he does these things to show people what they have...by taking it away!!! point being, this is another person who's interested in PEOPLE!!)

now i know i've written about voyeurism before, namely in my ode to "survivor", but this goes a whole other step...in the wrong direction!! what this man is doing might be deemed STALKING to the untrained eye...and to someone who doesn't see it as simply FOLLOWING people, might arrest him!! but i find it fuckin' fascinating!!!

let me ask you this; haven't you ever been walking down the street, let's say spring garden, on a busy afternoon, amongst all the pedestrians...spotted someone who appeared interesting, and wondered where they were going? or what they were doing? or where they were coming from? or maybe even, what they were thinking? and haven't you ever wanted to perhaps follow them, to see what exact destination they had in mind? now thinking about it, and actually doing it are two completely different concepts i know...and as i'm sure we've all thought about it, i sincerely hope (scary) that no one has actually DONE this!!

now let's suppose that we had the gaul to actually follow some hot guy we saw walking downtown some saturday afternoon...what would he hope to accomplish? would we be disappointed by the results? or would we be strangely turned on by it? all in all, i believe it comes from a fascination of human behaviour. just look at psychologists, isn't that what they do, only in the comfortable setting of an office, or a lab? they, just like the man in the movie, study the behaviours of others, because they too are interested and boggled by humans in general!! so why might we slap a big ol' CRAZY stamp on the forehead of the man from the movie, but think that behavioural psychology is totally legit? personally i think the *crazy* person who follows people around all day has more balls than the shrink who sits on a couch all day, rephrasing the last thing their patient said in the form of a question!!! he's not using lab techniques to gather his research, he's out there in the field of all the action, figuring it out for himself!!

i think that the reason it's a bit scary to think about following someone all day long just to see where they go, is because it could be happening to ANY of us...right now, even without us knowing!! whereas when it's in a professional setting, the patient/victim is aware of it! it's a little too close to home to imagine being watched, for no matter what the reason...whether by a sex-crazed maniac (ooohhh) or by a man simply curious as to what's on our minds.

so next time walking down spring garden, or along quinpool, or in the suburbs even, look over your shoulder to see if you see a familiar face in the distance, cause you never know who's lurking back there...and what motive they may have in mind...


scared yet?

under the sheets, part deux

so not that i'm more obsessed than usual with this fine little topic or anything, but since it's nearing the end of the week (which is when i tend to be hornier) i thought i'd dedicate today's entry to just that...

for all my loyal readers, i believe there was an "under the sheets" part uno, so i'll stick with that header:

someone once said, the more you have of something, the more you want it! that's true with any addiction (old or newly formed) and it's true with sex. honestly, think about it! i'm sure we've all had our dry spells, where we've gone many lonely months without indulging, or being indulged for that matter! and during those sad time(s) we probably didn't really even notice we were drying up!! but the moment our dry spell came to an end and we cancelled our gym membership, we were hooked again!!

isn't that crazy?? sex is the most completely natural act on the planet! it really is, there's nothing more natural, nothing more fulfilling, nothing more relaxing than a good ol' romp in the hay! (i wonder where that expression comes from anyways??) it's so natural that it's even the best form of exercise we can do! when you think about it, you are actually exercising and stretching almost EVERY muscle in your body...that is, if you're doing it right!! during sex you release endorphins you probably didn't even know you had! it's probably the most natural high you can achieve in life; there's nothing like that warm and fuzzy feeling you feel throughout your entire being just after you've came!!

i read recently, or heard in a movie...whichever, that after sex the female brain releases a chemical into the body that promotes nurture, and makes the body want to cuddle (ie be nurtured, and feel safe). whereas the men's brain produces a chemical that makes it want to go to sleep!! now tell me please, how this works out in heterosexual relationships!! does the female cuddle the male's lifeless corpse??? i mean, seriously!!! i know how it works in gay relationships, we just both start to doze off!!!!! after a little cuddling, ofcourse!!!!

look around the room next time you're in a public place; everyone is there as the result of sex!!! isn't that a funny way to look at things?? two people had to have sex, so that we could all be alive!! (other than by artificial insemination, but even in that case some dude had to jizz in a cup...so i guess you could say he at least had sex with himself!!)

so if we're all the result of at least 'some' kind of sexual act...how can some people still deem sex to be "dirty" (and not in the good way) and "wrong"?? if it is so "natural" then why is it still somewhat "taboo"?

now it's not like this all the time, but you must admit that we still regard it as a sacred act, and i'm not saying it shouldn't be looked at in this manner, but there is still the odd situation where we find the topic a bit squeemish! like for example, it's still not considered completely 'ok' to discuss it in a professional setting. well how come???? what is it about certain situations that force us to shy away from 'sex talk'?

in my perfect world, sex would be something even more in your face!!! you know what i mean? out in the open, with kids talking about it from day one, with parents having more than just the "birds and the bees" chat...we wouldn't shy away from making out in public, and more often than not you'd be able to catch the occasional couple snoggin' in a club!! movies with explicit sex scenes would only be rated "adult accompanyment" instead of restricted, (cause let's face it, what's a movie without raunch)and sex toys would be sold at every 'five and dime' in town!!

can you imagine? but as i was writing this though, i've come to the realization that if sex was considered just as sacred as oh, let's say holding hands...it might lose the speacialness associated with it. because if it were different than it is now, and we just shrugged it off like it were nothing special, then that would become boring! just in the way that we don't gawk when we seen two people holding hands! that's become the norm with couples. but if it suddenly became socially acceptable to have sex on park benches in the commons, then the term "risque" would no longer exist...and it would be far less exciting!

so what do you think will be the future of 'sex'? are we headed down that road to explicitness where nothing will be sacred anymore, or will we simply stay on the track we're on where sex is still a little more bottom-shelf-paper bag?? who knows, really? whereas i don't really see some mind-blowing sexual revolution happening in the near future, little by little i believe the world is starting to come to terms with it's sexuality, and opening up to it's possibilitys!!

so my lesson today kiddos, is to not fear it, embrace it, experiment a little, no matter how taboo the kink...you might be surprised at how much you like it!! except for bisexuality...not only is that just a stop-over before 'gay-town', but it's double dipping...

don't be greedy...


i hope you've enjoyed your time under the sheets with me, it's been my pleasure! now hold your breath till i return, you kinky bitches...

blue eyed blonde

as i was on the bus this morning, on my commute-in to work, i was thinking of what i might write in my blog as i do every morning, when i caught a glimpse of my (newly blonde) reflection in the window. and it got me thinking; isn't it strange the associations we automatically make towards someone we have just met, simply because on the colour of their hair???

for example, let's just throw the most common stereotypes out there right now, the ones we're all thinking about, no holds bared, here we go;

blondes; dumb, sexy, slutty, flirty, flighty, ditzy...*ahem*

brunettes; intelligent, prim, proper, earthy, natural, girl-next-door...

redheads; fiery, fiesty, fun-loving, force-to-be-reckoned-with...

black hair; mysterious, sexy, dark, brooding, sensual...

did i miss anyone? now i want everyone to think of someone they know who's a blonde, then someone who's a brunette (etc, etc) and honestly consider if they hold atleast two of the aforementioned characteristics? am i right in my depiction?

so what does that mean? is it the hair colour that enforces someone to act in such ways? or is it the person themselves who embody the traits?? seriously, what does it mean? just because i'm a little dumb sometimes, a little flighty and a little ditzy...does that mean that it's all due to my sudden turn-around as a blonde...or is it simply more appropriate now??? (did i just insult myself?) what is it about hair colour that automatically forces us to make certain judgements at first glance? and what does that say about people who don't dye their hair? are they forced to remain in and act-out the characteristics that are commonly associated with people who share their natural hair colour?? for example is a natural brunette not allowed to be slutty? and is a blonde not allowed to be intelligent?

now, i wouldn't go that far. i'm talking about first impressions. and there's not a single person out there who will deny that when a blonde (guy or girl) walks into a room, judgements are automatically cast. it's not something we do on purpose, simply something that's engrained in our subconscious. is it a bad thing? not really, but that all depends on how we act on such judgements, and whether or not we give these people the chance to prove us wrong!!

i think the most common misconceptions we make are about blondes, and their capacity/tendency to be dumb!! i mean, blonde jokes are aplenty...moreso than any other type of jokes in existence...for example:

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles

Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are you boys all in the same band?
A3: Do you guys all play for the Green Bay Packers?

Q: What does a blonde owl say?
A: What, what

Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
A: So her male would get delivered to the right box

Q: Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
A: She wanted to know how to cook food stamps

Q: What is blond, brunette, blond, brunette, ....?
A: A blond doing cartwheels.

Q: What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp?
A: They both get screwed on the front of a Ford Escort

Q: What did the blonde say when asked if she'd ever been picked up by 'the fuzz'?
A: 'No. But I've been swung around by the tits.'

sorry, i got a bit carried away...fuck, those crack me up!!! tee hee!! i always find it interesting when people are describing "their types", and some people are like "i only like blondes"...that's the biggest crock of poo ever!! you can say you PREFER certain hair colours, but you can't be opposed to meeting and feeling attracted to someone based on the colour of their hair!! that's absurd!! so that would be like saying that even though someone met their soulmate, it wouldn't work out because they have the wrong colour hair!!! craziness, i tell you!! what is it about hair colour that can make or break our feelings towards people? and why are there such strong feelings attached to such concepts??

so anyways, we obviously make some misconceptions (?) about people based on appearances, many of which i have just mentioned. and for some reason it's the hair colour that seems to be the main thing and the first thing we notice! now why this is, is beyond me! perhaps it's because it's the strongest attribute and the most visual one we experience...but i'd like to blame society for atleast part of it!

so today's lesson children, is the next time some blonde hotty walks into your office, struttin' his stuff, lookin' like he's got one brain cell left and it's stuck on stupid, give him some credit...he's not dumb, he's just drawn that way...