POSH AND BECKS

fuck i can't get over how hot these two are...it's not like they've just gotten together or anything, but I MEAN LOOK AT THEM....it's like there's a 3 orgasm minimum to even cast your eyes on them!!!!!! move the fuck over brad and angelina, cause posh and becks are on their way to los angeles (america....)

apparently david beckham has signed a 25 million contract to play for the los angeles galaxy soccer team (football in their home land)....which is just bollocks if you ask me...i mean, cooooome on????? he's obviously worth 10 times that amount, right??? haha! just teasin...

and in the wakes of a spice girls reunion...does anybody else smell a photo opportunity?

for more scorchin' pics of the orgasmic duo check out W magazine's new august 2007 issue on stands now!

THE GREEN INITIATIVE

having grown up in a hippie style home, i've always had a profound and deep appreciation for the environment, and respect it just as much. those who know me are probably laughing right now as they know that i don't particularly enjoy "sleeping outside" (i.e. camping) or even the mild hike up a mountain...but that doesn't have anything to do with my love and adoration for our dear sweet earth, and my devotion to hereby celebrate everything it has to offer, as well as protect what it has given us.

after completing an entire year in maine where our social studies and science curriculum has been focused primarily on "climate change" there's no denying how pressing an issue it is, and how over-due all this attention to it is. i'm not here to preach my kiddies, but i would like to share a few things yours truly does in his day to day life that has the earth and it's preservation in mind. and fyi, these are just little everyday things that you can also do at home, at work, and while outside amongst nature.

check this out; from the moment i wake up in the morning to the moment i go to bed, here are the little things i do to conserve energy/water/reduce fossil fuel emissions/protect the environment from other toxic emissions that are harming our dear planet:

1. every time i leave a room i turn off the light; it's hard in a 3-story house compared to a one level apartment, but i'm doing my best.

2. i am investing in biodegradable doggie bags with which to pick up after my pooch; plastic bags and other such unnatural sacs end up in landfill sites and never decompose.

3. i take short showers/baths, and never leave the water running when i wash my face/brush my teeth or shave. something that would be even better to get into would be to even start brushing my teeth while in the shower!

4. for my morning commute, unfortunately i cannot walk (the most environmentally friendly way to travel) but i do rely on public/mass transportation; as silly as the bus can be sometimes, it still reduces c02 emmissions by cutting down on the ammount of vehicles are on the road every morning! and most buses these days actually run on biodiesil fuel which is cleaner. people who drive by themselves to work every morning, then home and back during lunch, then home again at night are polluting our atmosphere and depleting our ozone layer...so walk a little more if possible, ride a bike every now and then, or car pool with others going your way if you have to. fossil fuel emissions is the leading cause of climate change in our society today, and it's also among the most easily preventable.

5. my family and i eat only organic vegetables; they are pesticide free and do not harm the environment when cultivated.

6. i am a vegetarian; decomposing animal flesh in the wild releases methane gases into our atmosphere. DON'T EAT MEAT!!!

7. i always bring my lunch in a reusable fabric lunch bag, instead of a plastic bag that is almost guaranteed to end up in the garbage...and then of course will gather dust in the landfill sites.

8. i try to stay away from buying food that comes in non-recyclable or non-reusable (i.e. wasteful packaging). this one is not always easy, especially since most of today's microwaveable dinners sold in the supermarkets come wrapped in plastic for days...but it's something useful to keep in mind.

9. when my family and i go to the grocery store we use the newly "trendy" greenbags to carry our groceries.

10. every lightbulb in our house (except for one or two that still haven't burnt out yet) in one of the energy saver lightbulbs that will not only reduce electricity bill costs, but also use less energy over all while still illuminating to the utmost capacity. they are a little bit delayed when you flick the switch, but beneficial to say the least.

11. we recycle and compost religiously.

12. i believe in using renewable energy sources whenever possible (although living in the city does present a hinderance to such uses).

13. we don't cut down trees; deforestation releases carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. planting trees and keeping plants in the house (which we do both...seriously) actually releases oxygen; plants and trees breath in carbon dioxide from the atmosphere (thus cleaning it) and releases oxygen as a by-product of photosynthesis.

14. we drive a low-emission vehicle. hopefully will one day own a hybrid or a vehicle that runs on vegetable oil.

well there you have it folks, i could probably go on but you get the idea. every one can do these things, and if we all put them into our daily routines, then we will really be able make a difference...not to sound like an after school special or anything...but i digress!

GO GREEN!!

RELATIONSHIP REHAB

fuck i'm ready for it...i don't know if i thought i'd come back to halifax and it would be so much easier...did i think that there would be a whole new flock of boys i'd never met waiting for me when i got back? did i think that things would have changed that much? or would there just be the same group of degenerates (half of whom i've already slept with) that there was when i left????

that's not fair...i should take that back...but i did think it, so i'm not erasing it...

i swore to myself that the addictions i left here would not find me again when i got back...i swore that thing would be different (and don' t get me wrong, they are different...which is a good thing...) but on the same lines as that i swore that i wouldn't repeat or find myself snagged by things previously experienced and previously tired and tried...

and i'm stickin' to it...

2007 has been deemed my relationship rehab year...and i'm stickin' to it...26 has been an eye-awakening year...and i'm stickin' to those revelations...coming back for a little while to where i was born and bred is going to be an individually empowering time where i complete my training to become the professional i am going to be...no matter what

HALIWOOD

well it has been a week or two since i've returned to halifax, and things are slowly returning to the familiar.

not familiar in a bad way, but more so in an envigorating and rejuvenating way.

you know how most people tell you that you start to appreciate what you have only when it's taken away? well i'm here to tell you first hand that it's TRUE!!

i found that since i was living in maine, it was the small things i found myself missing. for instance, sitting in starbucks, going to chapters to peruse the new titles, trying out a new restaurant, going to the movies...you know, simple things that the people of this fine city (myself included) take for granted!!!

well i'm here to tell you that living in fort kent maine for a whole year has opened up my eyes to what was there in front of them the whole time.

will there be things i'll miss about maine? you betcha!!! my list includes

1. buying a quart of smirnoff vodka for 12.99

2. buying a 5 litre box of wine for 13.99

3. having a 24 hr irving across from my place that sells liquor till 1 a.m. daily

4. the 30 degree and sunny weather that occurs 5 out of the 7 days in the summertime.

5. not having to pay for cabs EVER, cause everything is in walking distance from my apartment. (even though i love my cabs...usually...)

6. the cute border guards that put up with us when we walk across the united states border at 4 a.m.

god bless america

trailer i know who killed me trailer official lindsay lohan

this is the trailer for the new lindsay lohan thriller; now i know some people don't appreciate the hAArd partyin' little lady, but i loves me some l.lo!!! it looks entertaining and a tad bit dirty...check it out!

THE QUEEN

no, not me bitches...GWEN STEFANI!!!! i almost forgot to tell ya'll about mine and holly's trip to montreal to see miss gwennie!!! all in all the entire trip was fantastic; highlights (before the concert include) me laying down on a stripper stage with a $5 bill in my mouth and having a hot blonde stripper rub herself over me, kiss me, then take the bill from my mouth...

another would be holly gettting a private dance from the same stripper; hey at two songs for 10 bucks, it's a steal!!

another would be the 200 dollars i dropped in FCUK in like 20 minutes...

and yet another would be myself and holly getting lost after going to 3 different bars, meeting two randoms on the street, going to a "porn bar" (you know they ones with the little booths that you can slip a dollar in and watch some porn?!?), then going to an after hours club until 5 am...which is how we got lost!

the concert itself was the most amazing thing i have ever witnessed; i laughed, i cried (literally bawled), i danced the whole time, i screamed, and i sang along to every song...she played most of all her 2 solo albums, and had the harajuku girls along for the ride, complete with their own male counterparts. she finished off the whole concert with a ballad version of "the real thing" from L.A.M.B, which she dedicated to her little kingston! she even did a tour of the whole arena and even went up into the stands to sing "cool" which she invited us all to sing along.

she looked even more amazing in person, and her voice was to die...all in all, she was a goddess! it was an amazing trip, with an energy in that arena like i've never seen. i was in total awe the whole time!

MattInc talks Vegetarian

you actually have to "EAT" to consider yourself a vegetarian mattinc...that's probably mean of me to write this on my blog, but hey...IT'S MY FUCKIN' BLOG AND I CAN WRITE WHAT I WANT...alright i take that back...this is the dude i met in maine when i was there, and just stumbled upon his 'video blog'...i don't know, call me crazy but if i had a video blog i know i'd try and make it, oh i don't know, INTERESTING...check him out for yourself, but in my opinion he fails at doing that...see for yourself: www.youtube.com/mattinc

DON'T GIVE UP ON ME

dear friends,

i know by now you may have given up on me and my blogging abilities...seeing as how i haven't blogged in forever...but those of you who know me know that i had good reason...

without going too far into the sad details, i'll at least mention that the keefe family suffered a loss when my darling harley passed away a few weeks ago. everyone knows that that little chihuahua was my life, and there will be forever a piece of myself missing now that he's gone to that soft little place in the sky...xoxo my sweet....

in lighter news, i recently finished my stint as a temporary american as the last day of school came and went. it was a fantastic year, filled with many memories that i won't soon forget. and with school finishing, that means that i'm all the closer to becoming a teacher!!

on that note, i got my first placement for september; a grade primary class in fall river! i'll be there for two months, and then in another grade for another two months at a different school. it's easily observed that i can't freakin' wait!!!!!!!

so for the summer i'm back in haliwood, living in the previously dwelled basement in my parents suburban home. the dmv will be my provider of moola, and the pool in my backyard will be my new digs...

so there you have it folks, you're all caught up! (more or less). i hope i haven't lost too many of my loyal readers over this self-induced hiatus of mine...but rest assured my friends...I'M BACK!!!

love,

j

Boom Chicka Wah Wah - Funny Axe Commercial

last one i promise!

Amp'd Mobile - Bus Commercial

saw this while in montreal...can't get enough of "you...shake your junk"

priceless

Not For Women

don't hate me for not posting lately...but i just had to share this video with you: it's a viewer created l'oreal commercial...and it's hilarious!

enjoy!

britney spears rants

this just in-
haven't heard from our lil' (possibly ex) pop superstarlet lately...but here's a little video from x-17 where brit brit rants to the camera about "how good the world is, ya'al..."

it's worth a look...just hang in there after the picture slideshow, the interview takes a second to pop up!

enjoy!

Feist - 1 2 3 4

perez hilton hit the nail right on the head; this song is amazing, and the video is fuckin' trippy!

enjoy!

DRUNK GURL

is it possible after all these years to have an alcohol tolerance that is getting smaller? cause either it was the smack i received on the head last night that caused me to be foolishly drunk off not even a whole bottle of wine, or my tolerance is getting smaller!!!

whatever the case, pray it doesn't happen again.

off topic, yet even more exciting than my drunken excursions; pete wentz (the emo love of my life) admits openly to this month's "advocate" magazine, that he enjoys kissing boys!!! (and we all scream from a little place inside of excitement!!) he is quoted as saying that anything above the waist is fair game...however he has yet to experiment totally in the "penis" region...

but we can all dream, now can't we!

GIVE

i meant to blog about this a long long time ago, but better late than never i always say! now i know some of my dear precious readers look at company's like the gap and scoff; whether it be for not wanting to support pretentious sweat-shop company's or simply because their style doesn't appeal to them. but i'm here to tell you that one of those 'some-what' pretentious-not-for-everyone companies has taken on a new initiative that is one we all need to be supporting.

gap has a new line of clothing and accessories (called gap red, in case you haven't caught on yet) that's contributing a large portion of the sales to help fight aids in africa.

here's the blurb:

Gap (PRODUCT) REDTM is about great products that can help make a difference for Africa. As a global partner of (PRODUCT) RED, we’re contributing half the profits from Gap (PRODUCT) RED sales to the Global Fund to help women and children affected by HIV/AIDS in Africa.

a little fyi for ya: did you know that 70% of people infected with the hiv virus live in sub-Saharan Africa?

there's a whole lot more all of the world could be doing to help put a stop to this global crisis (that's a little more close to home than most of us would believe) but i applaud companies like the gap who have stepped up to the plate and started an organization such as it's red line.

products range from t's, hoodies, belts, sweaters, and other accessories. so next time you stop on in to the gap, check em out! and help researchers in their quest for the cure.

peace

someone once told me, that they avoid drama at all cost in their lives...but you know what? drama...is life!

drama is relationships, and anniversary's, and kids, and outings, and special occasions, and birthdays, and careers...it's everywhere!

why would you want to skip all that? why would you want to live a complication-free life? and even if you did, how could you?

the people who avoid drama, are the ones who are afraid of confrontations...and the people who are afraid of falling, and the people who are afraid of getting hurt...

but when you take a look at the big picture, to avoid these things, means not living! for in retrospect, they are unavoidable! the most we can do as adults in this sometimes crazy world, is never give up what we love, play the hand we've been dealt, and accessorize the outfit we've got!
only then will we be happy!

Imitation of Christ Feature

VACATE

well i'm currently vacationing in the big sunny city!!! and by sunny i mean that it's not minus 40 degrees out in halifax!!!

so far it's been a lovely vacation; much drinking, much debauchery, much smoochin', much hangin'!! i.e. exactly what i wanted/needed!

the fort treats me good most days, but it does start to itch at me after a while...baiscally it makes sense that we have a little mini-vaca every 4 weeks or so, seeing as how most of us are dying to get away by that point! but you all know that i loves me some school, and i am totally content with the choice i've made...even if it meant that i had to live in the arctic for a year!! just kiddin'...

it's good to keep my ties with halifax strong...since it is the place i've been able to call home for the majority of my life! and by having these strong ties, it guarantees that i'll always have a place to come back to...that is if the rest of the world shits in my face!! (which hopefully won't happen!!)

just checkin' in bitches, take care and wish me luck!

keefe out

MY GIRL

we all know that i like to check in on my girl jenna from time to time...(been a fan of her work for longer than the normal gay boy should be a fan of a female porn star). these were some pics taken of my babe (lookin' mighty svelte, i might add) recently at the ed hardy fashion show in l.a.

this look in the second pic on the right is not my fav look of all time...those boots make me want to heave, and the jeans don't really do her any justice...but since it's mizz jameson, i'll make an acception to my 'heaving rule'. but only with a little advice; perez and i both agree; we miss the curves jenna!!! you always look fantastic, the gays just like seeing you healthy!

take care gorgeous!

SPRING OF...

no more fuckin' snow, + temperatures, warmth, no more heat on in your houses, cleaner air, wearing less clothes, sunny days, over-sized sunglasses a la nicole richie spring collection 2007, buying dvd's off ebay, harajuku lovers, GWEN STEFANI CONCERT MONTREAL MAY 29TH!!!!!!!!!!!!!, telling drugs to fuck off, smoking joints, booze, booze, booze, patios, march break, almost being done school, the lorax by dr. seuss, lusting after william sledd, cruising 15 year olds in the "pick and save" and adding them to facebook without knowing they were only 15 and finding out after they were already added, not having boyfriends, tasha, protecting the environment, the 3 r's, worrying about climate change, veggies, facebook, facebook, facebook, "burn it up" is the new "that's hot", hemp cream from the body shop, throwing away all your leather, animal rights, david and goliath, writing children's books for school, the new fallout boy album, dj tiga, not buying products that are tested on animals, dinner and drinks with ex-boyfriends, getting your life together, almost being a teacher, star tattoos, iPod nano's, thinking about moving to New Zealand, drew barrymore's new movies, www.alluc.org, blonde is the new everything, walking more, jogging, still not smoking, blacking out after a night of drinking, poking people, myspace is dead, dirt on the fx network, flicks, having butter behind the concession stands again at the movies, layering your butter on your popcorn, celebrity autobiographies, scary movie "dead silence" and "the return", hostel part 2 coming out in june, "grindhouse" by tarantino and rodriguez, WEDDINGS, eating the vegetarian plate at wedding receptions, christina saying goodbye to being single, peace and love, unity, hippie thinking, hugging a tree, dumb blondes, having 10 pairs of sunglasses and wanting more, only working a little, rescue remedy, saying 'fuck you' to panic attacks, the new single by p.diddy and keyshia cole "last night", boys wearing girls jeans, not being the old man at the club, but going anyway...sometimes, careers, vonage phone, wanting my cell phone back, having all the simple life dvd's, missin' you, thinking about being a whore over vacation, crossing the U.S. border with a pill in your pocket, then never doing it again, walking puppies, dog pj's, pears, being yourself...

HAPPY SAINT PATRICK'S DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

have a shamrockin' good time!!

muah!

well this week has been a little on the unorthodox side; to make a long story short an evil from my past which i thought had long since reared it's ugly head, decided to rear it once more...what followed was about 3 full days worth of panic attacks so bad that i thought the world was ending...i managed to come away full tilt, but not before i freaked out in my social studies class...

after pulling myself out of that black hole, and deciding to turn over a new leaf...a more professional, grown-up one, one that doesn't include those pretty little pills that i can't seem to get away from, or any other illicit substance of the sniffing sorts...i even changed my hair!! i know i can say that i'm going to behave till i'm blue in the face and it won't mean anything...but i feel a change in my bones. i always prayed that something would happen that would scare me out of this way of life that's got such a choke-hold on me, and i think this past weekend was finally it. for anyone who's ever had panic attacks, knows exactly what i'm talking about...all the air seems to escape from the room, and you can't see past what you're feeling at that exact moment...

moving on, after that fiasco my beloved harley had to be taken to the vet...basically it turns out he has some sort of herniated disc (sic) that requires him to go on a pretty little pill (no, not the same kind) to make him better...a steroid "anti-inflammatory" of sorts that will make him all better. i cried, he cried, but he's on his way to recovery. looking into that little dog's eyes, i'm continuously reminded of just what i'd do for him...he's my life, and i can't bare to see him uncomfortable, or in pain...i would truly do just about anything for that little dog! (and jet too, of course!)

so it's the weekend, and you know what that means; 2 whole days of drunken debauchery ahead of us!! and this weekend is a little unique seeing as how it's st. paddy's day!! coming from an (almost) irish upbringing (keefe isn't far from o'keefe) i'm planning to celebrate with my true irish lovely "carolyn"! she's throwing a party at her place in canada that's sure to be a jolly good time! so as i bid you all a fantastic weekend, and a happy st. patrick's day, i hope you all drink a green beer, and have a toast to the irish!

top o' the mornin' to ya

Grindhouse Final Trailer

i think i just came a little...watch for yourself...

SAVE THE PLANET

This semester (and last for that matter) in my social studies and science classes, the running theme has been "climat change".

In the news lately, scientists are finally admitting man's role in the planet's vast climate change we've been experiencing over the past decade or so. (fyi; did you know that 2005 was the hottest year in recorded history??)

By man's role in climate change i'm referring to the fact that the human race is quickly being blamed as the sole reason we've been experiencing the growing epidemic of global warming. Deforestation is becoming a problem more than ever; pollution rates are soaring; more and more chemicals are being dumped in the oceans than before, and aerosol products are destroying the atmospheric ozone layer.

for more on the topic and the seriousness of the issue i suggest you all watch al gore's docu-drama "an inconvenient truth"...i guarantee it will scare the living shit out of you...especially since it basically blames some of the world's worst environmental catastrophes (umm, hurrican katrina anyone?) on US!

those of you who don't recycle/compost, or those of you who litter on a regular basis/use your vehicle too much/cut down trees/eat meat (sorry that last one was a personal one) GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER PEOPLE CAUSE WE'RE DESTROYING THE PLANET...

we're being taught that as future educators to the next generation, it is our utter responsibility to teach them about the dangers of living a frivolous lifestyle (i.e. one that includes the above mentioned activities...)

"the lorax" by dr. seuss pic above was written in 1971 and centers around deforestation; basically the lorax is a little creature who speaks for the trees (since they have no voice of their own) and is trying to educate the factory workers on the dangers of cutting down and destroying our planet's forests. like i said it was written in 1971...that was 35 years ago people, and now today this is still just as prevolent an issue as ever before!!!!! we're obviously doing something wrong!?!?!?!?! (i suggest you read this lovely little book by dr. seuss; or watch the movie...it's on youtube.com...just search for "the lorax" it's only about 30 minutes long, and i seriously believe that watching it will open up your eyes to just what man is doing to the planet.

think about it.

Mad TV - Commercials - Ecstasy

OMG, tooo funny...

101 things you may or may not know about me
1. I am extremely paranoid sometimes.
2. I can be really insecure.
1. my dogs are the most important thing in my life.
2. I have one of the biggest addictive personalities of anyone I know.
3. I like to drink a little too much.
4. I can’t wait to be a teacher.
5. I think eating meat is just wrong and disgusting.
6. I’m completely and totally 100 % addicted to tattoos; I have 9 already and don’t see myself stopping anytime soon.
7. I want to live in New Zealand on the beach forever, or on a ranch with dogs and horses in Texas, al the while teaching 1st graders.
8. I’ve had sex with around 80 different people.
9. I’ve had a major std scare, (but am totally fine now)
10. I’ve done more drugs than could fit in a bath tub.
11. I’ve eaten a pill that I took out of the toilet once.
12. I once stayed up for 3 days on ecstasy.
13. the thought of doing #14 again makes me want to cry.
14. I can be really hard on myself sometimes.
15. my friends mean more to me than they will ever know.
16. I lost my gay virginity to a 35 year old british doctor/body-builder/dj in the parking garage outside of a club in Halifax…on the hood of a car.
17. I’ve had more one-night-stands with nameless faces than I can even remember.
18. I think anonymous sex is HOT, even though I can’t bring myself to do it anymore.
19. I don’t have any shame left.
20. when I start lying I can’t stop.
21. I lie to my parents all the time without even knowing it.
22. I can be completely and totally vengeful towards people who fuck with me.
23. i’m a little bit dramatic.
24. I’m a total bottom, and love every second of it.
25. I’ve slept with 3 girls before I turned to guys.
26. I’m attracted to chests, more so than cocks…but I can appreciate a beautiful dick as much as the next guy.
27. muscles turn me on more than anything else.
28. I like to be spanked really really hard.
29. I’m in love with anal beads.
30. I masturbate at least once every day.
31. I love to dominate in bed.
32. I’ve only ever had sex on e once…and it was with a stranger.
33. I can’t wait to be boring.
34. I have a fear of being that old man at the bar.
35. i’m addicted to jerks.
36. relationships make me insane.
37. I secretly think I have A.D.D or am a little bit crazy…shhh…
38. I check under the bed every night before I go to sleep.
39. I used to flip a coin sometimes; heads I was gay, tails I wasn’t…in other words I didn’t have the easiest time coming out to myself.
40. I never wanted to be gay…but now I couldn’t imagine life any other way, and thank goodness I am every day!!
41. I love myself completely and utterly.
42. I love the way I look, and I’m happy I’m teeny tiny…aka heroin chic.
43. I eat like a fuckin’ cow, but just don’t gain weight…so sue me!!
44. I really want to learn how to play the piano.
45. disease terrifies me to my core, to the point where I lose sleep over it.
46. I am in love with being in love; and I can’t wait to find it again…or for it to find me…
47. I am an eternal optimist!
48. I sing all the time; in the morning, under my breath, making dinner, shopping, in class even…life deserves song!
49. I prefer to remember things with my own head than with photographs.
50. all I want in a relationship is to find someone who can love the me that I love…
51. I believe in love at first sight, if it feels right.
52. I really want to get married one day.
53. I’m undecided on whether or not I want kids…right now I’m happy with teaching them.
54. my favorite drink is a cosmopolitan.
55. I want to marry mr. Smirnoff.
56. wine is god’s gift to man.
57. I don’t really like other gay men. (as friends I mean…)
58. women are for friendships, men are for fucking.
59. I’ve never been a top.
60. there are three important things in life; clothes, compliments, and cock.
61. I’m addicted to trash; magazines, music, movies…you name it!
62. I could wear flip flops, board shorts, and wife-beaters all day everyday.
63. electronic music is in my soul.
64. I’m a hippie at heart.
65. I’m a huge animal rights activist.
66. I do everything I can to save and protect our planet.
67. I hug trees whenever no one’s looking.
68. I feel at peace when near the ocean.
69. I can be much more serious than some may think.
70. I’m a Taurus to the core.
71. I always get my way…always.
72. I’m the only one that matters most times.
73. I wine to get what I want.
74. I don’t usually let anything stand in between me and what I want.
75. I’ve had a threesome with a boy and a girl.
76. I’ve slept with one of my friend’s roommate and ex-boyfriend without knowing it.
77. I’ve used my grandmothers Christmas money to buy coke.
78. I’m very two-faced sometimes.
79. I believe laughing is truly the best medicine, and do it as often as I can.
80. all I want out of life is to have fun and be happy.
81. I believe that if you’re bored, you’re doing something wrong…
82. I’m equal parts devil and angel…although sometimes one sticks out more than the other.
83. I both love and hate drugs.
84. my father’s an alcoholic and I fear ending up like him.
85. I’m a total mother’s boy.
86. I’m boy crazy.
87. I deserve to be a V.I.P
88. I think Paris Hilton and I were separated at birth.
89. I secretly think I have a long-lost twin brother (even though I’m an only-child.)
90. I secretly want to dress like a goth.
91. I shave my chest and under my arms.
92. I’ve never been to a tanning bed…but have had many many bad self-tanning experiences.
93. I sweat when I’m nervous.
94. I wear girls’ jeans and carry girls’ bags.
95. I’m pretty gay…like super gay…and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
96. I love to write; stories, poetry, letters, rants, raves…and want to someday publish a novel.
97. I think I may have missed my calling as a stylist.
98. I’m retardedly obsessed with celebrities.
99. I eat a huge bowl of popcorn every night.
100. my idea of a perfect date is dinner, drinks, a movie, and buttery popcorn.
101. my favorite designer is louis vuitton.

HOSTEL 2

so eli roth and quentin tarantino are giving us another look into their sick and twisted view on the terrifying world of hostels...by giving us a second dose of every traveler's worst nightmare.

this is the teaser poster, featuring a naked and decapitated bijou philips...the teaser trailer doesn't give you much more insight, but is still worth a gander for those of you who loved and hated the first one as much as i did. (and by hated, i mean it scared the living shit out of me and made me never want to stay in a hostel again...)

the second time around promises us more of the same torture and demeaning behavior that the first one alloted us...a must for horror and quentin fans alike.

you could say i'm a little excited!!

wooo hahahaha

some people look better when they don't smile...

Beautiful Liar Beyonce ¬ Shakira

hot, hotty, hott...shakira and beyonce...who'd a thought?!?

I'M FEELING YUMMY HEAD TO TOE

well i'm not sure if amidst my excitement i was able to share with ya'll the good news or not, but if i haven't let me take this opportunity to say:

I'M GOING TO SEE GWEN STEFANI IN CONCERT MAY 29TH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you could say i'm a little stoked.

yes, miss gwennie kicks off her 'sweet escape tour' next month (april) in vegas, she's going to be joined on the road by Akon and Lady Sovereign in a massive tour that's sure to leave everyone wanting more, more and MORE!!

i'm going to be able to see her in montreal at the bell center in may (yup, just after my big ol' 2-6 birthday!! happy birthday to me!!!)

this is a moment i've been looking forward to for a very long, looooong time! i've been a devoted gwen fan since the early days when no doubt was merely a garage band memory! so stay tuned as the day gets closer and my excitement grows!!!

WHAT'S HOT RIGHT NOW?

doggy pyjama's, being mean to exes," just jack" (the band...they're fantastic), "feist" (another girl band from nova scotia...download "inside and out"), pink on boys, williamsledd.com, over-sized white shield sunglasses for spring, moving to the states, upside-down bandanas (on guys and girls), melt-downs (a-la-britney), "music and lyrics" with drew barrymore (aka the most romantic movie of the year), "factory girl" (based on andy warhol's muse), dj tiga, dj dan at reflections (even though i'm going to miss it), black iPod nano's, drinking wine on patio's instead of beer in the spring/summer, day-trips, gwen stefani's harajuku lovers line, gwen stefani's concert/new cd/style/husband/baby/l.a.m.b, pride 2007, blonde with brown foils, FACEBOOK, FACEBOOK, FACEBOOK, www.alluc.org, ditching myspace, being enigmatic instead of skanky, not giving it up on the first date, cancelling dinner dates and making them want it even more, working on the side, teaching, eating healthier, not ditching uggs even though pamela anderson told me to, celebrity biographys, pop art, not wearing leather or fur, louis vuitton's spring collection, go-go dancer's in bars, diamonds, messaging on facebook instead of texting

LOVE

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EL PIANISTO

my momma and i went to see this lovely 'feel-good' flick the other night as part of our mother/son-bonding experience of me being home for a while! and i think it goes without saying that i LOVED/ADORED/CAN'T WAIT TO OWN IT ON DVD seeing as how i live and breath drew barrymore...but besides that, the movie stirred a little something in me, and that was the "musical instrument" bug (which i thought had long since faded away!)

before you go hatin', yours truly used to (believe it or not) play the saxaphone...until i quit because i couldn't stand the feeling of wood in my mouth...the wooden reid that is, perverts...(stop giggling)

but not to toot my own horn or anything, but i was pretty damn good; my fingers moved oh so quickly over the keys, and i had a knack for picking up new tunes by ear!

but this time around, it wasn't the saxaphone that peaked my interest, it was the piano!! i know it may sound silly for a 25 year old who's never once been taught to play the piano would suddenly have an interest in learning, but i do!!

actually i have always had a deep passionate appreciation for the piano, and have always dreamed of one day being able to play. and watching this movie just renewed that passion that i thought had faded away.

and it's at this point in my life, where i'm beginning to realize that my passion could soon one day become a reality! i've been thinking of how and where i want my home to be (when i officially get a teaching job) and one thing i now know i want to have in that home, is a grand piano!!

i can just picture myself entertaining guests and leading them in a pop star inspired sing-along infused by cosmopolitans, around my sexy black grand piano!!

now, i just need to find someone to teach me to play...

HIPSTER

well i've totally fallen in love with girls' jeans...yeah, yeah...i know! it's pretty bad when you're a boy who's SO heroin chic (aka slim) that he doesn't fit into men's jeans and has to resort to the fairer sex's denim selections to find something that better suits his physique...but c'est la vie, eh?

actually, i'm very much ok with it...i've even gotten used to the judgemental/surprised look from the american eagle girls as i immediately proceed to the women's side to pick out their jeans!!

anyways, for any of you out there who are in the market for a new pair of jeans; let me reprise my past role of "salesboy extraordinaire" and give ya'll a little shameless plug on these amazing jeans.

this fantastico cut is for those who like it LOW...super low, at that. with the lowest rise on a jean that i've ever tried on, be prepared to show a little skin when you sit down/bend over/stretch, etc.

it fits tight through the thigh area with a 19" flair at the ankle for that little bit of extra-room that 'boot-cut' just can't give ya. there's something about this specific super-low rise that just makes the butt look amazing!

CHECK EM OUT!

i'm not even going to comment on the horrors of what's happened to my dear sweet sweet brit-brit this past weekend. let's just say that i'm completely shocked and concerned for this sweet little girl lost.

and is not ironic that this has all happened just after i wrote her my amazing letter voicing my concern for her future.

regardless, i think it's a travesty and beyond a sin that she has fallen so far and so fast. no matter if you're a fan of ms. spears or not, you can't help but be touched when another girl falls prey to the temptations of a hollywood life...

britney, i hope you find your inner peace and resolution with yourself...our thoughts are with you...

for some of you who have not seen my personal pics of the "fort kent crew" as i've donned them, here's a little pic of some of my closest friends i've made since being up here in the middle of nowhere....just so you can rest assured, that your little lovely is in good hands!

in case you were worried!

Dear the Britney of yore,

first of all, how are you? how are you feeling? have you purchased any new underwear lately? just kidding. i'm writing to you dear britney and speaking on behalf of my people in a collaborative manner...my people, being of course "the gays".

you see the thing is miss b, we're a little concerned. we understand that you've been going through a really rough time lately, and we just wanted to be that collective hand that reaches out to you in your time of need and reassures you that everything little thing's gonna be alright!

we're behind you brit-brit, and always have been.

after the birth of your second son, things got a little bad for you...the temporary insanity of your marriage to k-fed aside, there was the incident of almost dropping sean preston in new york...the seemingly endless nakkid-crotch pictures...and the short-lived friendship with paris...

all in all, the media have not been very kind to you lately...but we're here to tell you that you've still got a friend in us! we're eagerly anticipating your longly awaited "2007 REVIVAL" album...and as they say; the world is waiting with breath that is baited...or something like that...

now don't disappoint us!

stay strong dear britney...we're always behind with you, and by your side...take care of those sons of yours, think "fantastic dance album", and stay the fuck away from "federline" types...

love always,

the gays.
xoxo

Hobo With a Shotgun

is that cadence i see??? loves it

i started off this year with thoughts of myself...and lately those thoughts have become solidified.

2006, as i've said many many times, was the official year of "drama". and i'm so over it. drama in relationships, drama at work, drama with friends...and above all drama with my inner self.

now without sounding like an after-school-special, i just wanted to write and say how much fun i'm having with MYSELF lately.

my friend sarah called this time "healing time", and you know what? i can't help but agree with her.

I'm totally digging being single...and the more i think about it, the more i realize that i just don't want all that 'boyfriend shit' right now...i don't want to have that pit in the bottom of my stomach all the time, and i don't want to have that worrysome feeling all the time; where is he? does he like me? what's he thinking?

fuck THAT!

right now, i'm having a good time being with myself, with the puppies, and with my friends...

boys need not apply right now...until i'm ready...

unless your brad pitt, of course...but that goes without saying!

do you love it?

DESSERT

a wise woman once said, 'dessert is the whole point of the meal'. an even wiser woman once said 'let them eat cake'...and even though the latter 'lost her head', both ladies had a point.

i have always found myself a part of the 'salty' loving group, opting out of a delectable creamy chocolatey dessert in favor of something salty, crunchy and flavorful. but lately, (i blame the absence of nicotene) i have found myself craving sweets more and more.

no one can deny the allure of ice cream, chocolate, cream puffs, cheesecake, or even simply cookies...but there has always been something about SALTS that teases and tempts my palate, until i inevitably give-in to the temptation and indulge in the crunchy goodness.

what divides the two groups? are there those out there in food land who enjoy both salty and sweets the same? or does everyone fall into one or the other category? does it have something to do with how we were brought up? or is it simply a personal preference?

salty or sweet...what do you desire?

THE GIVING TREE

if you have never read this book, i command you to stop what your doing right now (at least after you finish reading this entry...and maybe after the poems that appear after this one...) and go out and purchase it right away!

it's an amazing little story of the relationship between a boy and a tree, and of just how we never really appreciate or know what we have until it's all gone. the little boy took and took from the tree to benefit his own needs, until the tree had nothing left to give him. and it wasn't until the boy was too old to do anything about it, that he finally realized how much he had taken his tree for granted.

it's an amazing tale that really (no matter how old you are) will touch your soul, and force you to think about how materialistic we can be.

there are important things in life, and there are things we can truly live without...never lose sight of the things that matter most, because it's easy to allow ourselves to become allured into always wanting more.

These poems are not by me, but i just love them and had to share them with ya'll:

Lemonade Sun

We pour
its liquid sweetness
from a tall
glass pitcher,
splashing
sunshine
on frosty squares of ice,
lemon light
and slighty tart,
we gulp its gold-
licking our lips
with summer.


Firefly

Sliver of moon
Slice of star
Rhinestone in
a jelly jar.
Twinkling treasure
snatched
From sky;
neon
sparkle-
Firefly!

Rebecca Kai Dotlich

dear bitches...i mean fellow readers,

it's nice to hear from all of you, i hope things are going well for ya'll out there in computer land...things have been going very well for yours truly as well! time is flying, and all of us in fort kent are managin' quite well, and we're all getting along just swimmingly!

i got to go on a trip to fredericton last weekend, where we crashed university of new brunswick's winter formal, got dressed up and got shit faced, danced all night, and hit up my new obsession: "boom" a gay club in freddy...can you say EXXXCITED?!?! made out with a bartender, got a phone number...just another night, eh??

this weekend we drove up to quebec city for their winter carnivale; ice sculptures, street dance parties, and bonhomme carnavale (google him, if you have never heard of it, amazing!!) we drank a little in old quebec, had a lovely parisian style dinner downtown, and then came back to the fort...all in a day's work!! soooo happy i went!!

what i can't get enough lately:

1. my new iPod nano

2. william sledd (my new internet boyfriend; www.williamsledd.com )

3. facebook (look for joey keefe if i'm not already on your list)

4. my space (www.myspace.com/joeykeefe )

5. my beautiful beautiful uggs ( my savior during the fuckin' frigid winter fort kent nights!)

6. my other internet boyfriend; who i've coined "ghetto gay" for the time being!

7. "we don't have to take our clothes off..." by jermaine something or ether...can't remember his last name...but just think bad bad 80's songs and you'll remember it!

8. "little miss sunshine"; amazing amazing amazing flick

Nintendo 64 Kid Remix

p dawg told me about this video, and i had to tell ya'll about it...it's fuckin' hilarious!!! check it out! make sure the sound is up!!

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CHOP STICKS AND CLOCKS

so as 2007 began i decided to add another new years resolution to my list: i decided to make the conscious decision to not wear a watch anymore! now this may seem like either no big deal to some or at least a very odd resolution...but to me, someone who has worn a watch his whole life, it was a big change!!

but it struck me recently, ok mainly after i got a new tattoo on my left wrist (where my watch usually lies) and wearing a watch over it would just look tacky and too much, but anyways, it struck me that wearing a watch is almost like wishing your day away.

i mean really, when you're at work you're constantly looking at the clock just wishing and hoping that the "work part" of your day will go by just a little bit faster...and while at school, you're constantly looking at the clock on the wall wishing and waiting for class to come to an end so you can be free...and well, that's not the right way to be in my opinion! at least not anymore!

so no longer will yours truly be ruled by the little wrist clock...no longer will i be a slave to time...no longer will i wish my day away, not even the boring parts!!

the second order of business today would be my new found obsession with chop sticks! (pictured above). I've always been a lover of asian cuisine, from thai to sushi to basic chinese...i love it all! (mind you it's the vegetarian version of all that food now to which i indulge, but still!) but i've never been very good at operating the sticks that chop, so i usually digress and opt out for the canadian/americanised version of utensil choice to consume my delectable foreign dish. but not anymore! i attempted using the wooden sticks one night over xmas break with my dear sweet kate while having sushi...

AND I'M HOOKED!! i've been finding myself eating noodles of any kind simply for the pure joy of eating them with my chop sticks! i even use them to eat random vegetables for lunch...basically anything i can get my hands on i'll use them to eat with!!

so next time you look at those exotic looking eating utensils and turn away cause they look too difficult, give'em a try! it's not as hard as it looks, and i'm guaranteeing you a pleasant experience. they can even make simple ramen look and feel like an exotic meal!!

Kelly Clarkson - Walk Away

just because she's fantastic

FOR EVERYONE WHO'S EVER BEEN FORCED TO SWALLOW WHEN CAUGHT OFF GUARD:

Exciting new drink> > > >>> > > >>A woman and her boyfriend are out having a few drinks.> > > >>While they're sitting there having a good time together she> > > >>starts talking about this really great new drink.> > > >>> > > >>The more she talks about it, the more excited she gets, and> > > >>starts trying to talk her boyfriend into having one. After a> > > >>while he gives in and lets her order the drink for him.> > > >>> > > >>The bartender brings the drink and puts the following on> > > >>The bar -- A saltshaker, a shot of Baileys, and a shot of lime> > > >>juice.The boyfriend looks at the items quizzically and the woman> > > >>explains.First you put a bit of the salt on your tongue, next you> >drink> > > >>the shot of Baileys and> >hold it in your mouth, and finally you drink> > > >>The lime juice."So, the boyfriend, trying to go along and please her,> >goes> > > >>for it.> > > >>> > > >>He puts the salt on his tongue -- salty but OK.> > > >>He drinks the shot of Baileys -smooth, rich, cool, very pleasant.> > > >>He thinks - this is OK. finally he picks up the lime juice and drinks> > > >>it.... In one second the sharp lime taste hits...> > > >>At two seconds the Baileys curdles ....> > > >>At three seconds the salty curdled bitter taste hits.> > > >>This triggers his gag reflex but being manly, and not wanting to> > > >>disappoint his girlfriend, he swallows the now nasty drink.> > > >>When he finally chokes it down he turns to his girlfriend, and> > > >>says. Jesus, what do you call that> >drink?"> > > >>> > > >>She smiles widely at him and says,> > > >>> > > >>Blow Job Revenge"

Ask A GAY MAN : Denim Edition

just because i love him...i give you william, my boyfriend...the love of my life!

the revolution starts today; make it loud; make them proud; make it a reason to be heard; make it count; make it matter; blow the roof off; make them need it; make it hot; make it soul; make it a sonic boom; make it matter by making it yours; make it a reason to get up in the morning; make it heartfelt; make it dirrty; make it full of sex; make it raw; make it edgy; make it addictive; make it ssshakable; make them smile; make them laugh; make them see the you you see; listen to your ticker; listen to your soul; make it what you want to do; make it silly; make it naive; make it your favorite color; have the mind of a child; make it picturesque; make it a cool shape; make it pop; make it like a drug you can't get enough of; make it full of love; tattoo it; pierce it; make it sing; make it dance dance; make it teachable; make a cure; think of a cause; work for it; make it blonde; make it ambitious; forget anxieties; leave your inhibitions at the door; make it stay up late; make it last

this revolution will not be televised

ME

so that was a photo taken of me yesterday...just kidding...but i did go skiing last night at the hill like right across the street from my house!! it was AMAZING!! honestly, i never thought i could have so much fun frolicking in the snow! me! the hater of snow!! but i came to the realization the other day as i was shopping for snow pants; hey, if i'm gonna be living in the worlds most northern spot (well not really, but you get it) i might as well take advantage of mother nature's "gift" that she's provided the people of this village with...

that being 'snow' of course!

when in rome, eh? and i'm certainly glad i did partake in last night's activities. it was LOADS of fun...the bunny hill and i had a few chance encounters...and then i braved the t-bar lift all the way up the big-kids hill!!!! it was a tad bit terrifying...but all in all, i can honestly say i'm HOOKED!!

when we going next??? cause i see myself being drafted in the "snow bunny" club...

my god, what's happening to me???

FYI

by the way, what i write on here is for a select group of people...that select group of people is commonly known as "MY FRIENDS", to which some people are not really a part of...i think 'they' know who they are.

i don't give a shit if my blog offends people, i don't give a shit if it hurts peoples feelings, i don't give a shit if it's controversial, i don't give a shit if it comes off bitchy/mean/hurtful/insensitive/malicious/childish ect...because guess what????

IT'S MY FUCKIN' BLOG!!

so if you find yourself thinking that maybe you may fall into the category of my "non friends" then ask yourself: WHY AM I READING THIS ANYWAY???

cause here's another little piece of info for ya; i don't write this for you, i don't write this for any of my ex'es (except for you blake...i'm still your biggest fan!!), and i don't write this for people i don't like...

i write this blog for ME...how do some people even find the address, is something i've found myself asking myself a lot lately...but one thing i'm sure of; i'm not apologizing for something that i wrote on here that got misinterpreted by someone who assumes the world revolves around them...

so in closing; if ever you got (in error) an invitation to read my inner thoughts and rambles...and you know i don't want you here...i hereby revoke it.

GO AWAY!

ASK A GAY MAN : Fashion Edition #4

my new boyfriend...i heart william sledd

DIAMONDS ARE BETTER THAN GOLD...DON'T YOU FORGET IT

i'm so better than you...do you LOVE IT? come and get it...eat it, fuck it, lick it, live it, dance, wind it up, and don't stop...i keep messin' up, that's what i do...learn from it, and don't let him decide how you want to be... no matter how he multiplies...

you decide

how you let it be.

come and fuckin' get it, baaaaaby

fuck him mn

owww owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
let the sensations multiply and come and get it

LIKE A SHOOTING STAR...

we are fuckin' shooting stars; we are what we want to be, we are what we strive to be, we are what we hope to be...and everyone out there who thought we might not make it, or thought we might not be right for that person, or thought we might not be right for that job, or thought we might not be right for that position, or thought we might not be ready for that kinda situation, or thought we might not be ready for a baby, or thought we might be too immature for marriage, or thought we might be too immature with money, or thought we might be too crazy to consider another person in our grand scheme of things, or thought we might be too judgemental for someone else, or thoght we might be too PENT-UP IN OURSELVES to actually ALLOW SOMEONE TO LOVE US...HELLO MIZZ HOLLIS; who thought we might we too fuckin' proud to actually allow ourselves to open up to the prospect to being happy, to everyone who ever turned their head at a love song, to everyone who ever thought they were never good enough, to everyone who thought they would never hold someone in their arms, to everyone who thought thet would never love someone...

think again...and shut the shit up.

HYPNOTIQ

going along with the idea of change that i've adopted for 2007, i under went hypnosis today...yes, for the second time...in an effort to quit smoking once and for fuckin' all. i'm so hoping it will work this time, actually scratch that...i'm so hoping i will stick to it this time, and not get cocky or down on myself and turn to those nasty nasty poison sticks again.

the whole idea behind hypnosis just floors me. i can't really say i fully understand the actual premise behind the whole deal...but i can say that i believe in it.

i left the office in the same state that i left the last time; a little dazed and confused...but hopefull. and that's all that matters. it was a woman doctor who i saw this time, and she had the most soothing german accent i've ever heard. which is ironic because i don't usually find german accents the least bit melodic, but it was pretty nice!

anyways, stay tuned for updates my kiddies...and keep those fingers crossed for me!

Cassie - Long Way 2 Go

looooove this song

H 2 DA ott

recently i started thinking about where exactly i'm going to want to be teaching when i graduate from university, and it struck me...i can go ANYWHERE!!

that's one good thing that always hits me when i'm not in a relationship; and that's that there's absolutely nothing tying you down!! no one else to consider before you make decisions; no one else's situation to take into account; and basically no one else to worry about!!

you can be completely and totally selfish...well, not selfish in the strictest sense,but you have nothing keeping you in one place...no compromises to consider...just you!

which obviously paves the way for loneliness to eventually settle in...BUT at least you'll have lots of freedom to take advantage of, right?? i guess it all depends on what way you look at the situation...

anyways, i'm getting side tracked...when i was thinking of locales on which to take up residence, certain attractive options came to mind...new zealand has to be at the top of my list...it's warm, tropical, all around beautiful, and land of the zandel (apparently that's what they call flip-flops). my cousin is currently teaching there. he just got a permanent position, and actually just got married to a lovely little local as well! in short, it's paradise!!

a second option, and just as hot a climate, would be texas...yuppers, don't mess with texas biotch...it's where i'd like to be!! my uncle lives and works down there as well and he speaks very highly of it. aside from the texas chainsaw massacre chapters, i've always been quite fond of the warmth and down-home-straight-outta-the-south atmosphere that emanates from that fine state...and if they could just forget about Bush for one second, then maybe we could get along juuuuust fine.

RESOLUTIONS

1. to keep living, loving, and laughing as hard as i possibly can.

2. to listen to myself more, and put myself first.

3. to continue listening to my heart, and not let my head interfere with my actions.

4. to not date anymore fuckin' jerks, assholes, children, boys who are unsure of 'who' they are, guys who don't know what they want, or guys who will use me/ignore me/play games with me/fuck around/hurt me/act immature/give me the silent treatment, or who are anorexic/bullimic/drug addicts/19 years old/from moncton or any other small town or who are either too much different from me. phew.

5. to continue to do well in school, and get myself a fabulous teaching career in either new zealand, texas, australia, new york, los angeles or france.

6. to quit smoking, once and for fuckin' all...come ooooooon hypnotist!!!!!!!!!!!

7. to not let my past dictate my future. what's done is done, leave your inhibitions at the door, and always look forward, not behind.

8. to grow up...a little anyway...ok, well mostly in regards to quitting BAD habits.

9. to not be afraid to jump at an opportunity that needs to be taken, even if it scares the shit out of me.

10. to be me.

CONFESSIONS OF 2006

i had a terrible one-night stand, i drank waaay too much, i did too many drugs, i gossiped a lot, i slept with about 10 different people, i didn't always use a condom, i had 4 hiv tests; 1 scare (but all is well now), i made a lot of mistakes, i was judgemental...often, i lied to my best friends and my parents, i picked up bad grammar, i lost the love of my life, i used my visa too much, i shopped and wasted a lot of money on things i didn't need, i used my grandparents christmas money for coke, i took up smoking again after quitting for a year and a half, i started cracking my knuckles again, i fucked up my ex-boyfriends 'left-over' shit that he had at my house...and then gave it all back to him, i called the police on the same ex and reported him as a drunk driver while i was pissed at him, i turned a little ghetto (at least in regards to my taste in music), i flirted with my friends boyfriends, i told secrets i said i wouldn't, i talked about my best friends behind their backs, i lied on my student loan application, i lied to people i met to make myself sound more interesting (only a little), i talked myself up a lot, i watched a hell of a lot of porn, i bought 2 new sex toys...and named them hot boy names, i was irresponsible, i told at least 100 people to 'fuck off', i swore waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much, i got 2 new tattoos, i wasn't as good a friend as i could have been many times, i used sex to get something i wanted, i had sex with someone i didn't even really like, i said i love you to someone whom i didn't, i used people emotionally to get what i wanted, i was mean to people, i made out with like 100 people, i kissed girls, i partied a helluva lot, i was a glutton, i told people they didn't look fat when they did, i lost weight, i ate things off the floor, i danced dirtilly, i was a little slutty, i was vain, i jay-walked often, i contemplated smashing someone's windshield in their car, i didn't always think before i acted...

but i also learned.

THE NEW

well i woke up this morning and i can actually say that i honestly felt different. maybe it's the new year that's among us, maybe it's just my personal realization that i'm not a teenager anymore, or maybe it's just that silly little thing we call 'adulthood' that's finally starting to affect me...but whatever it was, the end of 2006 has catapulted yours truly into a new state of mind.

i think it struck me while we were out on new year's eve, while we were dancing at "the french quarter"; i looked around the bar, and everyone (who was around my age) wasn't really dancing...most were just socializing and just walking around, (most enjoying their highs!!) and it hit me; wow, i'm one of them!! i don't know if that makes any sense, but i came to realize just how old i actually am! i had an amazing time, don't get me wrong, but the days of clubbing and staying up and out all night and sauntering in at 5 am have come and gone...and to paraphrase carrie "that ship has sailed...and tragically, i'm still on it!"

but the outlook is good, and i'm feeling pretty good about 2007. i have my hypnotist appointment to quit smoking (for good) on the 8th, i'm thinking that (although i'll always be a clubber at heart) that i'm somewhat through with the 'going out EVERY single weekend'; sometimes it's nice to just hit a house party, as opposed to going out to a bar and not socializing with your friends account of the music being so loud!!

and the major change i'm looking forward to is the next person i plan on dating will not be someone i meet at a bar...cause if past experiences have taught me anything, it's that everytime a club romance developes, it goes NOWHERE...

let that be a lesson to all of you.